I just spent 30 minutes on the phone with my doctor and he informed me that I have acute analopticalitis..For those of you who aren't familiar with this condition, it's where the nerves in the area of your sphincter get crossed up with the optic nerves, and the end result is that you have a ****ty outlook all day long..
True story... A good, older friend of mine was having foot pain and he told me his doctor told him his ailment had a funny name. He said it's 'Plantar fellatio". I resisted the urge to correct him on that, since I didn't want to explain why that was just sooo wrong. It wasn't until I heard him telling a stranger about his fellatio problem that I finally corrected him. Thankfully he found it as funny as I did.