I guess I am coming across as hostile in my opinions on this. It boils down to being a personal decision, both marriage and family, in which people should put a LOT of thought into. I feel society and families are better served if you wait, but don't begrudge those who don't. It is your decision to do so, as much as it is someone else's to wait. Kids are too valuable to receive anything less than your all.
I envey people my age that have kids out of the house or in collage and their not even 50 yet. Sure they didn't go to all the party's and ladies night at the local bars or lease a BMW when they were younger but the husband and wife stuged together and now can enjoy their kids and grandchildren while they still have their health. It aint easy in today's "me" society but if you and your girl have the stones to be your own person, you can start enjoying what God had planned for you now. I worked my arse off in my early years and I love all my crap but it didn't make me happy. Only seeing the bigger picture and not putting yourself first will bring you happiness by appreciating what you do have.
I agree with Trev. I strongly believe people should only get married in their late 20s or early 30s. The divorce rates prove this as well. Divorce rates drops drastically for marriages past 25 years old. I waited till I got my partying out, and I was financially stable. Selfish? How the hell is that selfish? I'm sure there are plenty of 21 year olds in love, but I think it is foolish to marry that young. Kids that young can barely commit to a favorite band or TV show, much less commit to a single partner for the rest of their life.
What the hell is this idiotic speak of people avoiding marriage because of a "me" attitude? That doesn't make any goddamn sense.
I'm 26 and we just had our three year wedding anniversary on Tuesday. Been dating this broad since I was 15 with a couple splits here and there during our college years. She couldn't handle my excessant partying...what a bore. Now, I don't have near as much fun but we get along just fine. She's been talking kids for a couple years but I'm no where near being ready. I'm thinking 30 will be a better time for all that nonsense.
I got married pretty early (I was 24), but we had been dating for 10yrs (counting two years in high school). It was right for us (financially and career timing). We're happy. Kids are another story. How is it selfish if we decide to not have kids right now when we both aren't ready? We still enjoy traveling in the summer, relaxing in the evenings, etc. I've seen first hand what having kids does to a change in lifestyle, and at this point in my life, I wouldn't be happy. No sense in having kids just to have them.
My wife and I got married when I was 26 and she was 24. We had only dated for about 2.5-3 years or so before we got married. 3 kids and 10.5 years later we are still married. I pray that we continue to have a solid marriage. My parents had an absolutely awful marriage. I do not think I saw my parents hug or kiss one time when they were married. My parents divorced after 27 years of marriage, which just happened to be my first year of marriage. It was very hard on my family and hurt my young marriage because all of the stress involved with me trying to be everything to everyone. Dealing with that scenario is not something I wish upon anyone. Marriage like anything else, may or may not be for you. Marriage like everything else, cannot be categorized. No black, no white, just shades of every color in the spectrum.
The ability to be selfless (and embrace it) is what it's all about. Wait til the kids come into the picture. Life as you know it ends and you immediately become a teacher, mentor, coach, bodyguard, etc. Many people are selfish and that is the recipe for disaster in a marriage. I'm selfish about my hobbies, but I justify enjoying the activities I love by including the kids. Seeing them enjoy hunting takes the experience to a whole new level.
I jumped on the Marriage train at 21... We met when 6 years prior to that... and have never once split up, took a break, etc... I knew what I was getting into... an I wouldn't have it any other way... With that being said...2.5 years later, It still doesn't always make it easy.But we get through it together. Kids aren't in the picture... nor will they be until we are both financially stable... If then.
I did it the hard way. LOL I dated my wife's roomate. Then I needed a date for Thanksgiving, her roomate was going to be out of town. So I ask my wife to fill in. Our first date was Thanksgiving, gave her a ring on New Years Eve and got married in March. I know.... kind of fast. LOL It lasted until she died 35 years later.
The only thing that worries me is what will happen 15-20 years from now. I've witnessed severalmarriages break during that period. Did these people ever think they get a divorce after being married 15 plus years?
At the age of 24, I am no where close to being married. I am more focused on trying to get a career started for myself. Will I want to at some point down the road? Who knows, I can't tell you that until the situation were to be brought up.
This is a great post .... when you have a commonality that instructs you in the way to act .... deference, giving, loving, etc ... and His name is Jesus ... He gets you through the hardest times in marraige and parenting, lovingly showing you where YOU err and also working on the heart of your spouse .... it is hard to explain unless you know Christ ... those that do, know what I am saying ++++
As have I, it really baffles me. It's one thing to witness, as someone else has in this thread, two people that were never happy getting divorced after 20 years. It's another entirely to witness a couple that were in love for a longer period of time and then split. Just baffles me.
Yes David ... all Godly attributes ... something sadly absent from many young people today .... I blame their parents ...
Your right. Marriage has its ups and downs but I wouldnt have it any other way. No matter how hard it gets I will always put in my effort to keep it going. I didnt jump into it without knowing the challenges. She is the love of my life and she makes me a better person and I know if we put God first then nothing else matters. Its the faith you put into it that counts.
It really is all about YOU and what your doing with the gifts Gods given you. Not about keeping score with your spouse or the other people on the world. Focus on living you life for a higher cause and the rest with fall in place. Just pick up a copy of the best selling book in history written in four different languages by 40 different authors over a 400 year period and it was written to tell you how to live your life to the fullest.
