When your parents start talking about the "end"...

Had a few events coincide last week that got me really thinking. Helped my wife's 90 year old grandma move stuff out the old folks home on Sunday. On Monday found out an old, good friend, had legal troubles and is an active addict that seems to be beyond help. Also on Monday got an e-mail from my dad telling me he is sorry that he probably won't be able to leave me any money/property/anything. He went on to say, "if I can make it 3 or 4 more years". That statement combined with observing my wife's grandma being so weak, feeble, and alone plus my friend having a really hard time kind of stripped the life out of me. My dad saying that stuff hurt. I told him I did not care about any money or anything, I really don't. Realized a long time ago I ain't nothing special and money just doesn't seem to like me very much.

Just airing some stuff out as it has been bothering me. Anyone else gone through parents or loved ones speaking about "the end"? How did/do you deal with the thought of losing a parent?

Not to be a downer on a Friday......getting some coffee in a bit and gonna kiss my wife and 4 year old before work. That should help.

Thanks guys

 

My grandpa recently passed away, and for the last year or so of his life he was talking like that. He said things like "if I make it another year or two i'll be lucky" and "I won't be around to much longer". I hated hearing him say stuff like that and I never knew how to respond to it. It was usually a "stop talking like that" or something and then I would try to change the subject. It was tough watching his health get worse and worse, and he knew his time was coming. It just killed me inside hearing him talk about it. But he's in a better place now. I still miss him everyday, but at least I know he isn't suffering anymore.

 

I havent had my parents speaking of the end yet but im sorry to hear about the rough times you are going through right now and i hope it lightens ups for you soon. Ill be praying for you and your family. Have good day and try and make a positive like you said kiss your wife and kid and try and smile today.

 

My dad passed January 22, 2013. Just got to remember the good things and leave the bad behind. Take everyday with your dad as if it is the last and enjoy his company and friendship while you can because they can be gone in an instant.

Remember to call him every if possible just to say hi.

 

Great advice.

I lost my dad 3 years ago, it was pretty quick, from the time he was diagnosed until he died was just a few months. We didn't have any talks about "the end" per say, but I asked him many times if there was anything he wanted to do/see before he wasn't able to. He just simply told me "Take care of your family, look after your mom, I'm going to be ok". I miss him every day, but know that he's not suffering any more, that makes it a little easier. All I can say Brett, is talk, email, skype, whatever with your parents. Knowing in your mind that you told them how much they mean to you when they are here, makes it a little easier when they aren't.

 

Thanks for the advice guys, much appreciated. For whatever reason we are not a lovey feely family so I need advice.

 

You may think so... but deep down inside... most people would love to be a touchy touchy feel good family. Just tell them what you feel. It may not help them... but it will damn sure help you and make you feel better down the road. I've always said.. speak the truth. There is no better remedy for life. When they're gone.... you'll be comforted in the fact you told them how you feel.. No matter how they react.... they'll be glad you told them how you feel.

 

Dad went down very fast. The doctors figured we would have another year before he couldn't remember and would be lucky to make it two years. He died 2 months later. From working 3 jobs to dead 2 month later was a shock to all of us. He was 78. The last month he felt like he was a burden to mom and horribly depressed on account of it. He told me he would be better off dead for her sake. For someone who was very active in the community and helped a lot of people during his life... he didn't want to be a burden to no one. I am not a real touchy, feely kind of guy but that was tough to see him go like that where he felt hopeless and a burden at the end.

I am probably the wrong guy to ask but you just deal with it. Be there to support your family because they need you to be strong.

Tim

 

i lost my dad when i was 17 i grew up fast that week that was 33 years ago just enjoy the time you have and do not get down any day with your dad bad or good is better then not haveing him thier old pepole talk just let it slide my mom is 81 now and going good she just says the good die young and she has a long time to go

 

Where is our resident English professor, Vito? This two day long sentence above needs grading with punctuation and caps in place. LOL

 

i never was good in school

 

You don't have to be. Vito is good at letting you know your mistakes. LOL Where is that boy anyway?

 

Sorry that happened to you nhbowhunt. One other issue is my father remarried and moved to Texas which has made it difficult to see him more than one to two times per year for the past 8 years. I really wish he was here so I could take him fishing and stuff.

 

If you think time is short and it is in any way within your means, take a trip to Texas and take him fishing.