This is always a classic. Tell us your funny/embarressing story of the time you, (or a friend ) relieved yourself in the wild and it didn't go quite as planned. One of my favorites is when a scuba diving buddy took a dump underwater and didn't realize it had floated up under his tanks, (against his back) until he got back into the boat with everyone else..
A buddy of mine stated he had to take a dump while turkey hunting, he quickly dropped trou and squatted. Later, he started itching. The next day when he didn't show up to work, I called to see if he was hunting again. Nope! he had squatted in some poison ivy and had irritated not only his rear, but also other private parts! He didn't come back to work for several days as it turned out he was severly allergic to poison ivy and had to lay on his belly until it cleared up. Every now and then when we get together, I start playing that song Poison Ivy and then listen to his tirades about leaving that painful subject alone!
last season while in the shootin house with my oldest boy he decided for the second time that sit that he needed to pee, luckily we keep a couple mt dew bottles in the house for just such an occasion... well, he's a bit anxious and workin on gettin his insulated one piece camo suit down so he can whip it out while I'm frantically reaching for the bottle/unscrewing it/getting it in place... well, he gets a little TOO anxious and lets go full stream before I get said bottle in place, he ended up spraying me down like a firehose and of course we still had another 2+hrs in the stand that evening... so, there I sit, drenched in piss and my boy laughing at me about it... i kinda had to chuckle a little myself otherwise I think he woulda been upset about it...
Heading to our lease one morning, a buddy and I decided to stop and get some breakfast at a mom & pop place. Around 8:30 that morning my stomach is not feeling real good and I quickly decided the truck was the best place for me to be. Around 11 that morning, I am sitting at the truck drinking a soda when I see my buddy appear from the woods. I thought something looked out of placed and grabbed the bino to verify that he was naked from the waist down. I acted as if nothing was out of place when he reached the truck, just asking him if he had any luck. He told me that around 8:30 that morning he stomach started rolling, but had decided to stay in the stand and fight it off. By 10:00, he realize he was going to lose the fight, but was having troubles getting down in his climber without losing the load he was fighting off. Needless to say, about half way down the tree, he lost. He walked to the creek to remove his now messed pants and clean up a bit. After cleaning himself, he decided to bury his pants (I guess they were pretty bad). None of this was a too much of a problem until we were about half home when he realized he had left his wallet and police pager in the pants he buried in the creek.
My uncle has a problem almost everytime he has to take a dump in the woods. Most of the time he either lost or forgot his TP and has to use his gloves. The best one is when he was sitting on a deadfall doing his thing and the log broke. That wasn't pretty but it was funny.
buddy was doing the do over a log and fell back into it! yuck! another buddy coming home from a b-ball game and couldnt make it... had to lean next to the skylark and use his sweaty socks! sounded like someone dumped a 5 gallon bucket of water on the side of the road! last one... my pops was on a walk and got the urge, he b-lined it back home and had to stop and lay flat on the ground to try and keep it in! haaaaaaaa. got to the gate of the patio, which is a bit difficult to open at times and must of just said F - it and let it go!!!!!!!! ohhhhhhhh we were rollin' when he told us!
My favorite story from another site was this. A guy while hunting had to do his business and without toliet paper, decided to use his facemask to wipe. The next day while hunting the same area with a buddy, after the hunt, he was at the truck. His buddy walks out wearing the facemask, Proclaiming "look what I found behind a log. It was a bit "muddy" but it's like brand new!" When the 1st hunter got up off the ground, from, laughing, he said you earned it..you keep it!
About 4-5 years ago I set out to hunt one morning. That morning I had been feeling ill but I took two days off to hunt so I made myself go. So about 300 yards from my treestand, I start getting terrible stomach pains. I think I crapped so many times over the next 30 minutes that I could have fertilized a field. I finally was so exhausted I walked a little more, laid down, then fell asleep about an hour before dark. I woke up and looked about 20 yards in front of me and two does stood there staring at me...they were headed right past my treestand location and the bucks were rutting. I wanted to slap myself. So they snorted and ran off but I didn't give up. Once I started sitting in my stand, I again began to crap my pants. I bet I crapped 10 times in less than 1 hour. I just let my clothes hang off me and sat down in my boxer shorts while on stand to speed up the continual crapping process. I saw deer that day, but crapped away all my chances.
This exactly happened to my hunting partner. He took down his coveralls and crapped in his hood and didn't know it. He put everything on and put his hood on to be hit by his own poo in the back of his head.
my grandpa and i were clearing out a part of his woods behind his house, and we had a burning pile and well i had to go to take a #1. so i and my granpa finished and a couple days later i realized i REALLY itched down there. went to the doctor....yup poisen ivy on my man part,turns out the smoke from the burn pile carryied the plant in the smoke and thats how the doctor figured i got it....callled my grandpa and he had it all over his arms and neck. so that was pretty bad, kinda emmbarrising telling my mom about it tho.
Two years ago (2nd week of Nov.), I climbed into my stand, about 30 minutes before shooting light. As shooting light began to glow, the buck I was looking for passed within 10 yard of the base of my tree. He was a 12 point and 150", minumum. . . and I couldn't shoot, due to angle and light. Long story short, I had a feeling he would be back. Around 8 am, the overwhelming urge to drop a bomb hit me. I manned-up and held tight for as long as I possibly could. At 9 am, my fight was over. I hooked my bow up to the cable and began to lower it. Just as I ran out of line, here he comes... snapping branches and grunting loud enough for the entire county to hear. That was the most costly moment of my entire hunting career. Oh well, you win some and you lose some, I guess
I know a GREAT story.. happened to 2 of our own.. Justin and Todd Graf. Justin could tell it better.. since it happened to him. But the short version is.. Justin was out helping Todd put up stands.. Todd took a poop beforehand near his truck.. Justin stepped in said poop and didn't know it.. so yada yada yada.. Todd is setting the stand and Justin's below helping him out when Todd finishes he tells Justin to climb up and check out the view.. Justin does still not knowing he has Todd's poop on his boots. Justin climbs up on the LW sticks.. checks out the view and then heads down.. what Justin doesn't realize til when he hits ground is the "mud" that's all over the LW sticks isn't mud.. IT'S TODDS POOP! So Justin gets the poop all over his hands.. but the best part is (for whatever reason) he has to drive like 30 minutes to the nearest McDonalds to wash off the poop! Good stuff!:d
