There is SO much wisdom in this post ..... one of the things I did not say was being teachable and admitting wrong. Each child is different, so there will be slightly different "treatment plans" Admitting wrong is often difficult for anyone to do, let alone a parent. We make mistakes .... lots of them. (At least I do/did) We have to apologize to our children .... don,t compromise your stand, necessarily, but if you said something amidst the instruction that was hurtful or too harsh ... say I'm sorry ...
Two things .... you are a male and when it comes down to something as serious as this topic, any girl that respects her parents will listen to them ..... boys are just rebels :D
I dont understand your innocent untill proven guilty theory in this one. There was video and voice on the kids phone that the police have. I'd take the hard line approach. First, dad goes visit the kid and parents and lets them know ZERO interaction with the girl or he'll fire up the chainsaw. Don't even look across the street. Then explain to the daughter the severity of the situation and that there are plenty of better fish in the sea.
Thanks Brett! I, like you, admit that I am not perfect and that I make mistakes. My daughter is 6 years old and my boyfriends girls are 18 and 16. Blending families isn't easy and I have no experience with teenage girls, since mine is only 6. But, I am learning and I want to be the best parent I can be and like everything else in life, you can learn from others. Ultimately, I am a parent and I am going to make sure that I do everything in my power to protect those kids. At the moment they may not like my decision, but like everyone says...I'm not trying to be "friends" with my kids. I keep telling them, some day, you will thank us for everything we do. You will see there is a reason behind the rules we set in place. We have come so far as a family in just a year than I could have ever imagined. There is a lot of respect in our house...and it goes both ways. We listen when the kids talk. They have their ideas and their own feelings, so we most definitely hear them out. But, ultimately, we as parents have the final word and they understand that.
I agree with most of you. My first reactionwould be to talk to my daughter and explain to her why I felt that it would be unexceptable. After that I would go right to the boys house and talk to his parents. Then I would have a private talk with him unbenounced to anyone else. You should pm my brother and ask him what the laws are for restraining orders. If it came to it I would persue that ave. In Illinois he could be charged as an adult for those crimes. I can tell you this there are no laws tha would ever protect anyone from me if that had happend to one of my girls. I have faith in the SYSTEM until it work in the favor of the guilty. I really wish you the best of luck. just bring her to the GTG and keep her away form the area for that weekend without her knowing that you did it on purpose
Sadly teens don't know or are unaware of the dangers and far reaching implications of these acts and sexual behavior of others ans nothing bad. Personally I would talk to my child and try to explain this behavior is wrong. For your child to take a seemingly nonchalant attitude worries me. You are the parent do what you think is right.
Yeah I must have breezed past that. What is priceless is a jab about reading comprehension. Maybe you could start a thread on that and other similiar topics like spelling and composition.
Working in that field, its easy to lose sight of innocent until proven guilty... HOWEVER... We usually only arrest people when we have strong probable cause to.... guilty or not id have her steer clear. Sit down and talk to her like an adult. don't lecture her or demand things. You'll get no where fast. Let her know you care and there are bad ppl out there. teach her what to do I'm bad situations and how to avoid them. She is going to whatever she wants to do. Best thing you can do is teach her to make the right choices ”on her own”. When she feels like she is making the decisions, she will still sick to then better. In this case id def be firm but mostly carrying in you're approach to telling her to stay away. Google some statistics on sexual assault to share with her. Pull up a map of how many registered offenders are in your area or city. It will shock both of you. Since she is a minor. Make it clear to the boy and his parents, in a polite and, non threatening manner that you will not tolerate contact between the two. Any unwanted contact, via cellphone, in person, email etc will be reported to the police. I doubt this kid wants more paper on him jamming up his current issues. Sent from my HTC Glacier using Tapatalk 2
I really don't have any advice to offer since I don't know any of the people involved. But, not being that far from 16 myself I was thinking of how I would have reacted. Had my mother told me not to see my husband, I would have disobeyed. HOWEVER, I would definitely not have been involved with anyone of whom my mother would have disapproved. I only had two dates in high school, my first year when I was 14. They were not fun at all. My mother suggested I wait until I found someone I thought I might want to marry, so I did.
