What is your opinion on spanking? For the perverts out there.... I'm talking about your children. :D My wife and I are in a heated debate and differ greatly. I'm not going to say yet what side I am on yet as I don't want to skew the comments posted. We have a 1 year old and a 4 year old. Both boys.
Used sparingly when needed, and used as a way to discipline. Not to take out anger. If you need to spank often, then you suck as a parent. I can't remember that last time I spanked my kids. They figured it out real quick. I was watching TV with my Dad not that long ago when a story about spanking came on the news. My Dad laughed, and said "When I was a kid, they started to tell people you shouldn't smack your kids in the mouth or face. Your Grandpa complained that the country was becoming a bunch of sissies."
"Fawn Orphaner Pro Staff" Vito I almost spit out my coffee when I read your new pro staff classification.
Damn it, Tony! This is like the third topic we have agreed on...in a row. I change my stance on spanking. I am completely against it.
i used to say spank em all the time. I have changed my mind. I was spanking my 3 year old. The more I spanked, the more he would hit his mother. I didn't like that. I even caught him hitting himself like he was punishing himself before he fell asleep. I have learned every child is different. Sometime it works, sometimes it doesn't. We have went other routes until he gets older and has been more effective. My wife and I have a natural aggressive tendency to hit, and obviously it has funneled down.
My daughter came home from school one day and said "This lady came to school today and told us that if our parents spank us, we can call the police and they'll go to jail." They teach kids this at school. I spanked each one of my kids once when they were young. After that, the punishments became mental. Both kids knew I loved them, BUT, they both also knew that I was the parent that wouldn't let wrong doing slide. The most dreaded was being grounded. In our house, when you were grounded you had to stay in your room. No TV, no computer, no video games, no Stereo, no Telephone. Basically, you, four walls and books. You could come out of your room for meals, using the bathroom, and school. Both kids grew up straight A students (had plenty of time to study in their rooms).
I have a 4 year old and a 8 month old. Clearly the 8 month old is not applicable in this conversation. I am in favor of spanking. Meaning I am in favor of me spanking my kids. Not saying every parent should. That said, I use spanking, the threat of spanking, timeouts, and other discipline methods all in conjunction with each other. Each is determined based on the situation. Ex. If I know my son missed a nap, is dog tired and needs to go to bed....I rarely spank. If there is no good reason for him acting out, yelling, talking back to mommy and I, he's getting a warning of a spank, then...spanked. Along with the spank, he gets a timeout in his room or on the couch. After 4 minutes, if he does not apologize, he gets another timeout. That combination usually gets him to snap out of it. While out and about, my fingers are crossed that the threat of spanking or a timeout works...and it usually does. Side note: My wife does not really like me spanking him however, accepts it. She on the other hand uses it only as a last resort vs me being fairly quick to offer it up. Needless to say, she does much more yelling back and forth with him than I do I totally agree with what Vito said. Not used out of anger which is where I think some parents run into trouble and or misunderstand the use. I never really understood the logic of folks who say...I never hit my kids. I don't judge, just never understood it. Good luck working it out with the wife regardless of which side you are on.
Great point Mark. What works on one child may not work on the next one. As for me, I believe In spanking a kid when needed. 3 weeks ago my 4 year old daughter was being a little ass to her mom. I straightened that out quickly. Not very often at all (2 to 3 times a year) she gets spanked on the butt. It works though when needed. I don't give a **** where I am either. If she acts up and won't listen, a spanking Is coming and she knows It. Spanking has become old school. People In stores have looked at me like I'm a child abuser. One even said he was going to turn me In to the police while we were outside In a Walmart parking lot. I went up to his truck and he closed his window and stepped on It. Probably a good thing he did that. I was hot about his comment.
Not all too long ago I would have said, whack away. Now, I'm not so sure. I have spanked my 4.5 year old son a few times, but I won't anymore. When he wouldn't listen, I would raise my voice. He started to raise his voice the more I raised mine and it really didn't do any good. Now, I keep a quiet tone and he ends up doing the same and usually apologizes on his own after we have a subtle talk. Kids are like sponges and mimic everything their parents do. Why unnecessarily teach him bad traits, if its not doing any good. Like was said earlier though, what works for one doesn't always work for another.
