Ways to get more times in the woods with little ones at home?

Give me your how to get more time in the woods with little ones at home and not get the wife too upset.

I have already asked her several times to tell me everything she wants done around the house now.... so that those tasks can be completed before September 18th. I also have suggested for her to go out a few times and leave me home with the kids.

I'm hoping to be able to pull off three night sits a week on average (including the weekend). I also have a 5 day and 4 day separate Grouse hunting camp in mid October and a 4 day gun deer camp in late November planned. So it's not only bow hunting.

Unreasonable? I don't think so? We have a 3 year old and 4 month old.


What other carrots can I dangle?? The goal is to still be married come December this year.

 

Not much more you can do than ask her for her honey-do list, in advance.

I've never been one to take vacations (hunting or otherwise) without my wife, though. Not only do I not want to....I just think it's unfair.

You asked.

 

I did ask reason being it's helpful to hear what others do.

I chuckled to myself thinking about taking my wife to Grouse camp. 15 deg temps at night, sleeping in the tent, in the middle of a wilderness area. "Not for her" would be an understatement. :D

Jeff, so your saying you never left once when your son was young? If true, I commend you. Hunting camps are something my wife signed up for when she married me. The key is to find the happy median so everyone is happy.

The obvious answer is to shoot a couple deer the first two weeks and not have to worry about it. :p

 

No, no...no.....don't misunderstand.....lol.

I got married at 39yrs old.. My son came with the package (she was married for 14yrs, before we met).

Longest I've been away, hunting (without her), was a 3 day trip a few of us took to KY, last year (over a weekend). I get limited vac. time. She gets TONS (like..40days./yr). So, I like to spend mine with her.

Lots take hunting vacations, and make it work.

Good luck.

 

What works for me...

1. My wife has something she is very passionate about (running/fitness) and we both make time for each other.

2. I hunt a lot of mornings so I'm home earlier/more. My morning hunts aren't shorter, but it seems like because they are sleeping.

3. When old enough, take the kid with you before it gets too cold.

 

Communication...if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
You've taken the right first steps.

I have a 6, 4, & 2 yr old...don't hunt as much as I used to, but still hunt plenty - and I know the days are coming when the kids can go even more...that time in the woods will increase again.

Just got to "step it up a notch at home" during season...and long backrubs seem to go a long way

 

I have a 10, 9, 3, and 1 year old. Personally I step up a lot during the off season and in return get a lot of patience from the wife during deer season.

 

I think the most important thing is to make sure your doing your job as a husband and father. Setting aside time for your wife, take her on dates, spending time with your kids, getting all the "to do list' knocked out before season, and most importantly making sure she never "feels" like your hunting is more important than she or the kids. Then she will inturn support your love of hunting. When momma is happy, the life is good. Good luck, its a juggling act sometimes.

 

Now that is a great picture right there! Very cool!

 

First buy the largest Betty Crocker cookbook you can find. Once you get home go by the kitchen and grab yourself an ice pack out of the freezer. Give her the cookbook and say "Here you go, while I'm hunting you could memorize this thing."

See aren't you glad I told you to grab that ice pack?


jk On a serious note your approach is very similar to mine, do as much as you can now. Another thing that I have found goes along way is if there is a day I plan on hunting(or that I normally hunt, like Saturday) but maybe I'm just not feeling it or the weather is crap without mentioning it prior to that day I will stay home and be doing something constructive/helpful when she gets up and spend the day with her and the kids. I only miss a day in the woods and it means a lot to her, especially during the season.

 

Personally, I think if you hunt that much with young children at home, you will have regrets. That is a lot of time to be gone from such small children and a lot of pressure to put on your wife. Believe me, my sons are now 14 and 17 and the time goes by so fast you can not even imagine. I truely regret the amount of time I spent in the woods while the kids were young and would do it all very differently with hindsight. I would trade every trophy on the wall for a second chance. I tried to take them along, but it just wasnt really what they wanted to do with me. It was what I wanted to do with them. Selfish on my part. Do what your kids want to do. Make them your priority. Enjoy your time as a father, focus on your wants later.

I think the reason it is hard to get the mothers to take the time off away from the kids is becasue they know inside that it just isnt the right thing to do.

 

very good post, i'm in the same boat. I have a 4 year old daughter and 2 year old son. I would do anything for them and my wife before hunting. This has always been a touchy subject between me and my wife but we are working on it. I too try to do stuff for her in the off season and do stuff as a couple because if that isn't there it never will be. Hunting isn't enjoyable when you know your significant other isn't happy, so I do everything in my power to prevent that. I'm just glad her and my kids love the outdoors, we go camping and thats fine with me!

 

I compliment my mother in law as much as possible.

 

Man, if getting things done on the "to-do" list is a big part of it, I should be set

 

Good stuff, right there.

Also, be sure to give Momma some "girls night outs" with her girlfriends where you watch the kiddos all night and let her go out... remember, it's not babysitting -- as some of your friends are sure to call it -- it's being a father. There's two of you... she's not the only one who should have to watch them every night. I look(ed) at it as "getting to watch them."

They'll be off and driving before you know it and you won't have that special time with them any more, so take advantage of it now on nights when you can't hunt...

 

I take my boys with me... 6 (the day before bow season opens) and 9... I take the oldest to the stand with me and my youngest goes with grampa, though I suspect that this season roles get reversed and grampa goes with the oldest since i was with him last season when he got his doe... though grampa only goes with the oldest for gun season, if he decides to take the bow this year i go with him into the 2 man ladder...

I'll tell you this, no hunting experience of mine even comes remotely close to being as great as being a spotter for my boys... I'd MUCH rather help them hunt than to hunt myself... so my recommendation is this, take one of the kids with you, even if you are not "hunting" you will never forget these times...

 

That always cracks me up coming from friends that don't have kids. "Can't go, huh...have to babysit?" My response is always, "No way, my kids are already a handful."

I think GFY already knows this, but there is no right answer from anyone here. Everyone is different. Wives, mothers, husbands, fathers, and kids. Each situation is different. Some will have regrets, some won't. Some wives/kids love the outdoors and want to be a part of it, some don't. "You knew I loved to hunt when you married me!" doesn't apply when you have kids. The "right" thing to do can be different in every marriage/family.

This subject always reminds me of this joke. A shortened version...

Biology Professor: "Do you know what your butthole is doing during an orgasm?"
Female Student: "Probably hunting."

 

Do things WITHOUT her having to ask you, or you having to ask her what she wants. If you sense that something needs to be taken care of, just do it. My wife responds a lot better to me being proactive rather than reactive. If you ask her about the honey to do list, then it just kind of reduces the value of the work in my opinion, kind of like you are begging her to go hunting. Stay on top of the dishes, laundry, and general household cleaning and your wife will be much more open to you hunting 2-3 times a week.

Another secret trick of mine......1 week before the hunting season begins, send her some flowers at work/home. Then again, 3-4 weeks into the season, do the same. Flowers are powerful medicine I tell you.

Another secret secret trick that only the experts know......tell your wife you are going hunting one day the second week or so of the season. Then just swing by her work/home and take her out to eat a great dinner/beers/whatever and tell her that you just wanted to be with her more than going hunting.

 

Genius!

 

MGH, see how I positioned the date day with the wife during the second week of the season (the toughest to hunt in my opinion) so that two weeks later you can really hit the woods when the hunting gets real good? MUHAHAHAHA!

But for real guys, I don't really manipulate my wife. She is a hardcore highschool basketball coach and her season kicks off in mid-November. She supports me because I love bowhunting and I support her for 3-4 months during her season because she loves coaching/basketball. We both have found out that we are much happier people when we support and allow each other to attack our passions with full vigor.