With our 30th Wedding Anniversary fast approaching my wife started hinting what she wanted for her gift. First she said she wanted something shiney. Ok, I thought she wants more jewelry. Then she said she wanted it in white. I was a little confused at first then figured out she must want something in white gold. Then, on the day before our anniversary, she said to be sure it could go from 0 to 150 in less than 3 seconds! Crap! I thought, I drove back to the city and returned the bracelet, necklace and earring set and went and got what I was sure she wanted. I had a nice bow put on it and brought it home. I hid it until the morning of our anniversary and was sure I was had finally got her the gift she always wanted. The morning of our anniversary I got up early and put it out in plain view so it would be the first thing she saw when she got up that morning. I placed rose petals all around it and laid the card on top. I then took my cup of coffee and went down by the pond so she could enjoy the moment all to herself. About 30 minutes later when my wife woke up, I heard the screams. What I first thought were screams of delight began sounding more and more like swearing. I walked up from the pond to get an earful of verbal abuse for the rest of the day. I have been sleeping in the garage since that day. It turns out she WASN'T talking about new bathroom scales. WARNING TO HUSBANDS: Make sure you know EXACTLY what they want before you buy it! WARNING TO WIVES: Make sure you tell us EXACTLY what you want!
