Maybe you know where I work from some of my posts, but you probably don't. I work at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, Tennessee. I work in an office that provides support to all of the nurses in the Ambulatory Care Unit (outpatient department), so I am always walking through the Patient Care areas and varous clinics. I've always had a soft spot for children, and seeing the kids walking around here just breaks my heart. Oh, I've learned to smile and say hello and always appear to be up-beat, but sometimes I have to turn the corner, get out of sight and just close my eyes and wince at the pain it causes to see small children fighting battles that would terrify even the strongest of us. Many times the young patients are as positive and happy as anyone you would meet out in the world, but sometimes you see a look on their faces that could make a grown man cry. I was just walking back to the office and I met a mother walking with her daughter who was, oh, around 12 years old. Sometimes it's the ones that are around that age that really get to you. At that age they're developing the mental ability to ponder their situation and consider what all of this really means. It was obvious that she was going through chemotherapy, and while I've seen so many children enduring the same terrible ordeal, it was the look on her face that got to me. A look made up of a mixture of fear, despair and pain. I can't begin to imagine what was going through her young mind, nor can I imagine what was going through the mind of her mother. At these young ages, it's the parents job to make the hurt go away, chase the monsters out from under the bed and out of the closet and tell them that everything will be okay. No matter how much her mother might want to do these things, she can't. Despite her best efforts she can't make the hurt go away, and this is one monster that is real and can't be chased away by Mom or Dad. Sometimes I have to fight the urge to take these kids in my arms, give them a big hug and tell them I am so sorry for what they are having to go through. That, of course, would be totally inappropriate. I would probably break down and cry anyway and that would just complicate things even further. Still, I would give anything, and I do mean anything, if I could just make the fear and the hurt go away for just one of these little kids.
I can't imagine being in your position LC. Like you, I have a huge soft spot for children. The innocence and purity of a child is like nothing else. I look at my kids every day and am thankful that they are healthy. As I parent, I can't imagine my child going through the things you see. Hopefully I never have to. In 1996, my sister lost a daughter at 5 weeks old. I see how it affected her for many years to come. Again, I can't imagine the pain. St. Jude's is one of the very few places I have donated money to and never questioned if it was for a good cause.
That would be extremely tough for me to be around. I don't even like seeing on it TV. Good on everyone working at St. Jude's. Its a tough battle to fight.
I can endure quite a bit but children in circumstances as you describe would break me quickly, very quickly. I so appreciate people like you and the nurses and doctors that can care for these children. Children are the future of us, our legacy, and we should cherish them for the gifts they are to our lives.
x3! I'm a softy when it comes to most any innocent human suffering. I can hardly stand to read/hear/know about the suffering of kids. I'm part of a group (Benefit4kids) that helps 'wish kids'. It just tears me up when they send out an update on a B4K kid that has died. Back when I worked in a hospital, I was in the CDU, this is where that hospital put the dead and dying people from the ED. I watched the chaplin go in and comfort the family members. I remember thinking how that had to be one of the toughest jobs around.... but one that was invaluable.
Incredible post, LC... really. I know though, and I've felt the same way.... being in medical sales and walking the halls of hospitals on a daily basis, I experience the same thing. My worst days are the ones you live daily... the ones where I have to call on Children's Hospitals. Know EXACTLY how you feel. Having an 8-year-old and a 4-year-old at home makes it really tough. And makes me feel REALLY blessed.
You nailed it LC...I can't imagine. I get rattled when my child has the flu...cannot comprehend what these kids/parents are going through. We donate annually to St. Jude...awesome organization...keep up the good work!
Uggh.. like has been already said.. I don't know how you handle it. Would be impossible for me. I can't even watch St. Jude commercials let alone work there. My wife and I make it a point to give to them and a few other children donation organizations whenever possible.
Chief, From the beginning when I got to know you on HNI I've thought great things on the person you are. Man I was spot on. You keep doing what your doing. My hat Is off to you on doing the job your doing. It would be Impossible for me to do. God bless and many thoughts and prayers to any kid/parent that have to deal with this kind of stuff. It just ain't right at all!
Not sure how you do it, but my hat's off to you. It's things like these that really make me question things, that's for sure.
I can only imagine what you see from day to day, you are a strong person for being able to. My little brother lost his best friend when they were 5 to bone marrow cancer. We were close to the family and it still bothers me to this day knowing what Dean went through. My brother was impacted to the point where he has never been real social and has a hard time getting close to people. I also know a Hospice Nurse who works with kids and interviewed her in a paper I wrote for a college course. Being able to be around this day in and day our make you a special person, thanks for what you are doing.
I took leave one time and spent a week at a children's hospital just spending time with the kids in the oncology ward. I did everything I could to bring a smile to each one's face. I often returned home at night with bruises from pratfalls. After I returned to my duty station I realized I didn't do it for them, but their smiles and laughs eased the pain I felt for them. One of the medical staff kept me updated for quite a while on those who went home with their parents and those who went home with Jesus. That week, and the year that followed hurt too much for me. I could not work there LC and my hat is off to you. To this day, St Judes and Ronald McDonald House gets donations from me.
Had to bump this to the top. Much more emotional topic than my 'professions' thread. I do not know you LC but I'm sure what you see every day can wear on even the strongest individual. It's something that affects everybody in some form or fashion. Great post, it really puts things into perspective. I can't help but shed a tear every time I see the ESPN Make-A-Wish specials. The looks and smiles on those kids faces are priceless. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
You have to have the hardest job imaginable. When I was a police officer, those were the worst calls to respond to knowing that children were involved. I would sometimes have nightmares about it. There would be no way I could put myself through that day in and day out. People are always thanking me for doing what I do, but I would like to thank you. Without people as strong as you, our world would be in a much worse way.
