I see a lot of t.v. shows where from the moment a guy sees the deer to the point where he puts an arrow through it, he is a bundle of nerves. I do get anxious, especially the night before a hunt. It gets so bad sometimes that I can't even fall asleep without taking a warm shower or find something to exhaust myself with. The minute I get into the woods it's like a switch gets flipped though. I relax and nothing in the world matters to me. No matter what the day brings, I'm where I want to be, doing what I want to do. The part that I worry about, is that it extends into my hunt as well. When I see a deer pacing its way in my direction I grow even more calm. My brain is 100% focused on what I'm about to do and I don't have any thoughts of missing or what ifs. I feel primal when this happens. I don't wonder about the kill, I don't think about the kill, I am sure that the next few moments will be the last on earth for this animal. As the moment comes closer, a mantra forms in my mind, "Anchor, relax, squeeze. Anchor, relax, squeeze." Only the sound of my breathing fills my ears. Finally when the moment comes and just before the arrow flies, the sound goes out from the world. I no longer hear my breath, the sounds of the woods, the noises from the deer. Everything is quiet. I wonder, later, if at this moment the animal becomes aware of his fate. If some invisible cord has begun to pull and he has begun to feel the weight of it. The increasing pressure of my finger against the trigger, finally trips the latch holding the calipers of my release and in a sharp crescendo the sound is ushered back into my ears. First the crisp sound of the string as it slices through the air and then the muted strike of it against my stop. The arrow seems to fly so quickly that I'm barely able to register it before it begins to enter the animal. In a flash of movement, the deer reacts and in a great roar it ushers in the rest of the the noise that had been previously shut out. My arm starts to lower and as it does I breathe in and I feel my heart beat strongly. Once. Twice and then as it continues to beat it falls into silence. I wait for a bit and the calm around me stays. I think it knows that the hunt is not quite yet finished. I make my way down and begin to trace the history of what just happened. Find the spot where the animal was before I shot and make my way towards where it left my field of view. As I'm walking, I begin to notice the crimson blood that confirms my shot. I know he hasn't gone far. I quickly come upon that low, horizontal, brown shape that promises to be a deer in the distance. I quietly cover the remaining space with an arrow knocked. Once upon him, I can tell that the life has left him. I touch his eye with my arrow and the response is as I expect. I put down my bow and kneel by him. I feel the calmness begin to slide away like a blanket falling to the ground. As the excitement of what has happened begins to well up inside of me, I am suddenly overtaken by a wave of emotion. Not sadness or joy, an emotion I have been yet able to describe but that fills me completely. As I set to work cleaning my kill, I transition into excitement and contentedness. I've been told I'm odd for feeling like this. I've been told that normal way to act is nervous and excited during the hold. To feel exhilarated and triumphant after the shot. I wish sometimes that I could feel that way, but am worried that I will lose something if I do. Every time it happens, no matter the animal or the hunt, I feel like I am the most solid inside, that I am the most connected to the world around me. It's like looking for the pulse of the world your whole life and, for a few brief moments, feel your heart beating in time to it.
I haven't arrowed a deer yet but, the two I harvested last year with firearms was the exact same way. I was not nervous, I was focused, time slowed and the air was completely filled with silence. I didn't even hear the 30-30 or the 12 gage go off nor did I even have ringing ears. It wasn't until I heard a crash in the woods did I get excited and the adrenalin started flowing. After thinking about and replaying everything in my head, I felt it was strange that I was like this especially my first deer. I have heard of so many missing deer due to nerves and I mean seasoned veterans. I thought it was abnormal. Guess not.
Great post! I think I may know where you're coming from. I haven't been able to describe the feelings or emotions that come over me from the moment I make the decision to take an animal to the moment I stand over him after its all said and done with. This probably sounds odd, but when that moment comes, when I decide its "shoot time" on an animal, I switch into this "mode" almost like a supreme predator in the woods. If you've ever had the joy of watching a bobcat stalk something, you know what I mean. Every sense is locked onto that deer. Nothing else in the world matters at that moment except executing a well thought out and deliberate plan. A plan that includes sending an arrow precisely through the vitals of that animal. I think all the practice and preperation we do as hunters, if you're like me, helps tremendously. The actual shot becomes second nature, something you don't really think about, just execute as you have for months. Over the years, I've noticed that I don't actually get wound up until after its all over. I usually have to sit in the stand for a bit, even though I heard the deer expire right after the shot, just to calm down enough to get out of the tree without doing something stupid. ;-) Once I actually put my hands on that animal, well, I don't know what to say there. Something really comes over me then. The range of emotion is pretty wild actually. Yeah, I'll admit I have a bit of remorse, not in a bad way, but out of respect for that animal. I mean, I just took its life (played god so to speak) and I've been taught to not take that lightly. I'm thankful for what occured because it was quick, and humane. I know some guys will say, "c'mon, its just a deer!". That may be true, but I think to some of us, its more than that. Bowhunting is a way of life, it shapes us, and brings us closer to nature, the animals we pursue and more importantly, life itself. Each season, I am amazed at how much I learn about myself and life's lessons while being 20ft up a tree. I think the saying that nature is one of lifes greatest teachers is pretty accurate in my book.
When I read the title of this thread, I thought of the "high" I get when I pull the string. It's a completely different kind of excitement when you pull the string knowing you are trying to kill something. From a post on HNI years ago by Matt/PA, "your mind WILL race." It's what you do after that to get the job done that counts. I love that rush of adrenaline in two moments of my hunt. When you first catch definite deer movement, but you can't ID it as a buck or a doe, and drawing on the prey. When I don't feel that anymore, I'll stop hunting and likely just film friends.
X2. I'm unlike the OP greatly in that I'm a bundle of nerves upon sight, leading up to the shot, and I'm sure even during the drawing/release, but at that point I'm more focused on other things that I don't notice it. The second I become like a machine, I probably won't stay in it. I don't get joy from the kill, it's the excitement leading up to and after that drives me. Btw, aren't you supposed to be on vacation, Ben?:p
"You figure it out yet?" "What's that?" "Who's the best bowhunter?" :D Sorry...couldn't resist. Love that movie
I can understand this. If I didn't have anything tied to the experience I wouldn't do it either. It's not that I become mechanical, I just don't get a rush when the shot is happening. The only other thing that I can compare it to is when I played defensive tackle in football. I wanted to dole out punishment and enjoyed doing so, I just never got a rush out of it. Stephen King once likened our need for horror movies to the necessity of feeding the alligators that dwelled in our mind. Hunting, for me, is satiating.
Yep. You got my house done yet? Just came up from the surf. The waves are pretty awesome today. The fishing this morning was slow, only caught 6 small ones. We head out on the big boat on Wednesday, they say that most guys are limiting out on dolphin by 9 and then chasing sailfish and the like after that. Should be fun. I have my video camera with me, I'm sure you guys will get some footage.
I've found that I worry less prior to the shot now that I have tried to take my personal ego out of the equation. It is still there to some degree, but my ego has been placed on the back burner in my efforts to enjoy the woods for what they offer and not what I want to covet..... I tell myself, "wait for a good shot", and "good form good kill".
Same, I am so pumped befor a hunt, making sure everything is packed neat and organised & going over everything !! then when I'm actuly out in the woods i'm so relaxed, everything is just about tracking deer.. well at least for about 6 or 7 hours then normaly end up falling asleep under a bush out of the sun baha.. on the odd ocasion when I actuly get to shoot a deer, well geewizz I belive the best part of the hunt is when you are drawing your bow & puting the sight on it then pulling the trigger, I have always found that is when the biggest rush happens
