So my BIL showed up at my house at 6 am on Saturday morning...

I was waiting for that lol

 

I agree with many of the comments - you need to get the rules/plan agreed upon and talked about before much more time goes by. Each day, week, or (gulp) month that goes by, it's going to get harder to address. My wife also "likes to avoid confrontation" - she would be dragging her feet like crazy on something like this too, so like skywalker said, your going to piss her off now or later, may as well get it over with...

 

Wow, now that was a Freudian Slip if I've ever had one. FYI, I fixed that in my post.

 

I've had three BIL's of mine live with me over the years. Two of the three of them had their fiances move in with them as well. I charged them a small amount of money for rent. I am happy to say all three BIL's of mine all were able to save up money and buy houses of their own after living with me. None of them gave me any problems.

As for you Hooker, that is a rough situation. I know it is not fun having to be the middle man between BIL and wife. I can hear it in your words that he is making your life not real fun right now....Give him ONE more week then put him out.

 

I had my brother who is fiscally irresponsible live with me twice now in the last 5 years. He is not a freeloader but he does have some issues. He would work around the house and look for work but after 9 months I was like it's time to go. You have to be open with your wife no matter how she takes it. It's your house to, my wife was ok with my bother because he did all the cleaning and dishes. A

 

My MIL moved in 14 months ago.......and is still here.

 

Winner!

 

My best friend had his MIL live with his family for a couple years. Just doesn't sound like any fun at all. I have another friend that has his FIL living with them. Again, not fun. Not going to happen at my house!

 

What's my prize?

The worst part is, her room is right under the "workshop."

That would never happen here. I would have to be dead or move out to have that piece of **** living under this roof.

 

Well I'd address it sooner or later before it ends up like it did for me. My in laws "stayed with us for ahwile" when they were in between houses. We actually just bought our house and were having carpets put in and some other things before moving in ourselves. My in laws were living there before we were. We finally got moved in and I tolerated it for awhile.

Then it slowly started. They didn't pay for anything. Food, drinks, electic, water, etc.... tolerated it. Started having their own company over... tolerated it. Ate dinners that we bought... tolerated it. Watched what they wanted... tolerated it. On and on untill "the day". Talked with my wife and she agreed with me, just didn't know how to approach them. I said it's going to be a hell of a lot better coming from you rather than me.

Now I'm the kind of guy that doesn't vent on a daily basis. I'm more cool and calculated. Very analytical. I slowly let things build up untill I erupt. So after months of this one day after working about 15 hours at the golf course on a 90 degree day. I come home to someone in my shower. Watching nascar reruns. No food to eat. 3 or 4 relatives over drinking my beer! Went to the fridge to grab a beer and was planning on going upstairs to watch TV. NOPE... all gone. Bought an 18 pack night before. Apparantely they found humor in the situation. I however did not. Chucked an empty bottle across the kitchen and smashed it. Started heaving everything of theirs out the front door and let them know that the ride was over. Completely lost my mind (happens about twice a year). Just couldn't take another second. And in a flash it was over.

I recomend figuring it out sooner rather than later. It will drive you insane and put stress on your own relationship.

 

Wise decision.

 

Sympathy...

 

FTR, Hook, I would prefer this ends in an NYB type meltdown.

 

man I hope it doesn't come to that

luckily my wife's brother does not drink, so my beer is safe

 

Haha, My FIL hates me too Really not that bad, because I never have to worry about him moving in.

 

Every 3rd couples night out tell your wife that "we can't go tonight, because we are using our funds 33% faster these days. Tell him your home is not a hotel and nothing in life is free. Until he finds a job, there are dishes, laundry, vacuuming, moping, lawn mowing, weeding, and every other chore you can think of that needs done. If your wife gets miffed at this, just explain that you're helping him. The more he stays busy, the faster he'll get over his "depression". Of course, the more you keep him busy, the less likely he'll stay long.

 

T bag him ...maybe he will move out then...

 

Have your wife take pictures while you t-bag him and put them on the fridge. He will definitely move out then.

 

......and how is your relationship with them today?
Damn...good for you!

 

I won't allow someone to live with me unless it is very odd circumstances. I'd honestly front them rent for an apartment before I had them living off me in my own house. I'm particular when it comes to MY stuff in my house.