Snip snip

Looks like the wife is putting her foot down and telling me it's time to make a dr's appointment to get a vasectomy. To be honest it scares the heck out of me, in a big way. The though of the whole process literally makes me sick to my stomach. Of course the wife gives me the ultimatum. You know which one..haha. Anyone here have any personal experience? Or should I say GOOD personal experience?

 

nahhhhhhhhhhhhh you'll be fine, might smell the coterizing tool working but thats it, oh and make sure you have at least two frozen bags of peas in the freezer! bunch of my buddys have had it done and it does make for an interesting afternoon!

 

I'm just curious (no reason, naturally) why she isn't considering (or, wives in general) the operation?

Is it sheaper for men? Less risk? I have no idea.

 

Less risk, and less invasive from what I've been told by my wife:D (Seriously, she's studied these things in college).

 

I had it done last Spring, no biggie. Follow the docs orders and you'll be fine. I actually needed an day longer on the recovery then what the doc recommended.

Jeff, its an easier and less invasive surgery on men than a woman as well as cheaper.

 

I guess it is quite a bit less risk for the guy. Also we just had our last baby through C-section so she is still healing from that surgery. Of course the hospital in our town is a Catholic one so they wouldn't do it while they were in there the first time.

 

I'm on the chopping block also! We have a boy, girl and another in Heaven that I will meet someday. My wife cannot have children naturally and we have decided we are done. I have been putting it off because of the same reasons you have. Thanks for the reminder!

 

advice: do the shave yourself... gold bond is your friend... TIGHT undies, i'm talkin jock strap tight... several bags of frozen peas on hand... use the painkillers if they offer em... plan on sitting for the entire weekend... I played college soccer, i've been kicked in the nuts a few times in my days, it hurts a LOT more now than it ever did to get hit there... learn from my experience below.


here's the whole story as I related it to another:

wife and i talked, after our 3rd kid there was just no friggin way i was havin another... When my youngest was born i had 3 kids under the age of 4... So, we waited until after the snowmobile season to get this scheduled and of course after vacation in the summer... Comes about end of july 2yrs ago and i finally get in for a good ball choppin, take a friday off so i get a 3 day weekend out of the deal before i go back to work, thank god i've got a desk job...

Come to find out my neighbor worked for the dr performing this, oh joy, now my neighbor stephanie is gonna have full access to my junk... Friggin wonderful... Get this, the guy's name, dr. Nutcheck (not kidding, no bullchit!!!)... Just my damn luck...

Night before i go in i sit my azz on the edge of the tub and try to trim the hedge... Even taking it easy my sack ends up looking like a 13yr old shaving for the first time while having a seizure... Break out the norelco electric and the oster hair trimmers instead... Knock the big stuff down with the trimmers and decide to finish up with the shaver... Bad idea, those rotary shavers grab the longer pubes and wrap 'em up around the shaver heads and pull 'em out... Back to the shave cream and blade... Finally done, ya i did the whole sack almost to the taint... Took to weed eatin the rest a little as well, can't have wifey chokin on a stray pube or gettin poked in the eye ya know, so a subtle trim to knock down the tall the grass a touch, sweet, all done now... Hmm... Actually kinda nice in a way, as long as i'm goin commando around the house...

Next day comes, i drive in for the ~job~ scheduled for about 2pm, he says it'll take about 20-30 mins, cool, i'll be home and relaxing around 330 or so... We get in there, the neighbors wife compliments my haircut (smartazz) and the doc says, you're gonna feel a little pinch with the local anesthesia... Pinch my azz!!!!!!! He stuck a 4 inch spike thru my sack, pinches the plumbing inside, stuffs the needle in there and begin ~inflating~ the pipes with the local... At this point i feel like the pressure is gonna back up and pop the tip of my c@ck off... Thor (yes, the god of thunder) is tryin to do his best imitation of a turtle in sub zero weather... And all the while dr. Nutcheck is having a talk with me about golf, the housing market and retirement, which continues while he performs the same damn thing on the other side... Now the fun part begins... He grabs the machete and starts hackin at my sack... Cool, can't really feel anything, we've moved on to cars in the discussion now, and i here him make a couple snips while removing a small section, he grabs a couple of metal staples and clamps them shut, then breaks out the friggin soldering iron to seal the deal...

Ok, this is a bit disheartening, when you see smoke coming outta your crotch, knowing that something is burning down there and you can feel the doc treating your boys like a set of playground marbles, there's all kinds of tugging and pulling and yankin goin on down there... The local kills the pain but you can still feel all the movement... Weird... Stitches closed the wound and moves on to the left side... Same procedure, hey, at least he's consistent, but the conversation has taken a turn into the surreal... Now we're discussing bowling, ping pong, and sexual habits of our wives... About this time i start getting a little light headed and my end of the conversation starts to fade off as i'm on the edge of passing out...

He finishes up and says go ahead and get dressed... I respond "i'm not goin anywhere cuz i'm just gonna pass out for a bit here"... My face is flushed, i'm having sweats and getting nauseous... I manage to get dressed and lay back down, my neighbor brings in some oj and cookies and a couple cold wet rags... Doc had told me earlier that the local would last about an hour after he was done, giving me plenty of time to drive home and get situated before it wore off... No such luck today fellas... My little ~near passing out~ episode has cost me over and hour and a half before i felt good enough to walk... Great, now its friggin rush hour in chicago and i've gotta drive what should have been 30ish minutes home has now become an hours drive of stop and go traffic on a very rough us rte 41... I finally pull in the drive at home, struggle my aching balls into the house, grab a bag of peas, pop some vicodin and get in a recliner... Mistake number one, i didn't wear tight drawers...

Of course i didn't figure that out until the tuesday evening following this god awful nightmare... On monday i went to work, i'm limpin around the office, somethin aint right, i take the taxi back thru the chicago loop to the train station for a nice bouncy ride on the train for almost 2 hrs, yeha!!! Tuesday morning i get up and now m balls are swelling up like goddam tennis balls... The pain is almost unbearable, i call the doc, he says it fairly common, i'm like wtf??? You guys said i'd be back to work easily the following monday... I hang up, now i'm starting to get a little paranoid about this... I'm still sitting around each evening with the bag of frozen peas and carrots... Finally slip on some tight drawers and in about another day or two the pain subsides enough that i wake with morning wood... Yeah for me!!!! My junk still works...

On thursday night, maybe it was friday, i'm getting a antsy to take him for a test drive... I convince the wife to give it up, i go slow and produce about the largest money shot in the history of mankind, worthy of ron jeremy himself... What a f-n mess... Wifey get to the bathroom to clean up, i hear her in there saying to herself "holy jesus" then yells out to me "did they put extra in there???"...

At any rate, i wasn't able to do any fappin for another week or so... Doc said i had to blow at least 12-15 loads before i was "safe" for wifey to quit takin the pills... Somehow or another we managed to get that 12-15 times deal taken care of in about 3 weeks time... Not bad...

Oh yeah, and now my balls hang a bit lower and when i'm on the sled the bounce a little freer... Only problem is that having this done while its 90 degrees outside make your now shaven sack stick to everything, and as the hair grows back it itches like crazy for about 2 months... Gold bond is your freind

 

OMG!!!! That is THE funniest thing I have ever read!! This is a classic. Sorry for laughing at your expense, but that was AWESOME!!! Thank you.

Sal

 

I haven't laughed that hard in a while, thanks!

 

I was literally laughing out loud, that was too funny. Oh and there is no way I'm getting that done now...

 

Just me... if she is done having kids she should have it ,If you are done you should have it
if you both are done both of you should have it. nothing wrong with a double baggier.

 

And girls say we have it easy......

 

My doc gave me a script for a single Valium to take when leaving the house for the surgery. The wife drove me to and from, so my experience was not nearly as eventful as Sevenmag's. I did however develop an infection a week later (epididymitis) that was far worse than the surgery. The doc told me when I went back for him to check it out that it was the worse case he had seen as a result from the surgery. Thanks doc but that didn't make me feel any better.

 

That story is funny, but I think you may have been in about the 2% range that may develop a glitch !!
I had mine done about 28 years ago, no big deal, I was in and out in about 90 minutes, did it on a Friday, sat the rest of the weekend and went back to work on Monday, no problems.
My BIL however when he had his done, were the size of softballs all weekend, another 2 percenter !!

 

It's nice...Nice that you've decided to share this with all of us !!

 

Mine not so bad. My only advice is clean the pipes as soon as you can. I had a blockage in the pipes the first time they were cleaned, talk about hurting I went to see the DR in the morning he went to poking me I almost punched him. It's been all good since.

Other note about shaving when you go in for the consultation check out who's the shaver

 

FAR cheaper, for a woman there is a requirement for general anesthesia (paying 2 doctors, an OR, and an OR staff, the hospital recovery room, etc), for a man, you go to the Dr's office, he numbs you up, does a little snip-snip, and a couple sutures and maybe a little electro-cautery, and you're home watching the game drinking a cold beer with a couple bags of frozen peas to numb the boys and keep them from THROBBING!!!

And lets be serious, would you rather be the guy getting pampered or the guy getting *****ed at because she's "miserable (yet again) and it's YOUR FAULT(yet again)"!!!!

I've not had mine yet, but I know which side of this equation I'd rather be on...... I had to take care of her after surgery once and a couple of kids, and it's a lot easier to be taken care of instead of being the one doing the caring, especially when you're getting blamed for the whole thing in the first place.

 

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for LOL'N at your expense but after the week I have had that is some funny stuff right there!!!!

 

That was the #1 funniest thing I've read on a message board. LMAO!!!


By the way.... don't do it!

My experience was very similar to 7mag. Without a doubt the worst part is the needle. The thing that really sucked for me is I was misinformed and thought there was only ONE shot. I did all I could do to get through that "little pinch" (yeah right). After he did his thing on my first nut, out came the needle again for the other side!?!?! WTF are you doing with that thing again? We have to numb the other side! Like hell you do you already did that. No such luck. "little pinch" number two.

Then the recovery was a bunch of bs too. My nuts were like grapefruits for a week. I also called back to ask what the deal was. He told me and I quote "I have good news and bad news. Sometimes with people with an abnormally large penis this tends to happen." Excuse me doc I don't think this is the time for jokes (although he was correct about that).