How does a shepherd count his flock without falling asleep? Are there female leprechauns? Do judges and lawyers do jury duty? Do fish sleep? Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light? Why do all the days of the week end in "y"? Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together? Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another? If God created everything, and He knows everything ahead of time, why did He create Satan? On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1? Do pigs pull ham strings? Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters? Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"? Why do people say heads up when you should duck? Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights? Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone? Do Nascar Drivers need their license when their racing? Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a "time" clock? Aren't all clocks "time" clocks? Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something being crap? Can dogs have dog days? When a male is elected president and his wife is called the First Lady. What would a lady's husband be called if she were elected president? If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday? Do birds pee? Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts? Why is it at a Chinese restaurant an egg roll is called that when there is no egg in it? Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk? What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not? If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see? Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for? If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator? If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage? If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing? If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind? Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down" a shop mean the same thing? Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when there not even crackers...they're cookies? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Have ex-cowboys become deranged? Have ex-drycleaners become depressed? How do you throw away a garbage can? Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada? Why do old men have hair in their ears? Why are things typed up but written down? Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest? If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? Does a postman deliver his own mail? Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself? If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken? Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car? Does peanut butter really have butter in it? Do mimes watch silent movies? Is the fear of flying groundless? Why do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up "there" anyway? If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing? Why are boxing rings square? Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it? Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it? Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Why do birds have white poop? Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot? Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down? Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet. If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight? If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like? Do sore thumbs really stick out? Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house? Why do we scrub Down and wash Up? What's the opposite of opposite? If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice? Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail clippers when your toe nails are smaller than your finger nails? Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack" If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Why is the blackboard green? Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple? Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10? What do you call male ballerinas? How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter? If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first? Why are pennies bigger than dimes? Did they have antiques in the olden days? Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes? If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid? Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?
Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom? Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open? why do the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune? Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney? If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to? If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane? What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken? why are turds pinched off at the end? I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be under whelmed, but can you just be whelmed? If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends? Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants? If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented? How come overtones and undertones are the same thing? What would you use to dilute water? What should one call a male ladybird? How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with? If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you? Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ***? If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Aren't all generalizations false? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!? Can you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them? Did Adam and Eve have navels? Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip? Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window! Do fish get cramps after eating? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Do one legged ducks swim in circles? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's? Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can someone "draw a blank"? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? How can there be "self help GROUPS"? How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
