I've walked in your shoes tacklebox... and got my mother into assisted living a few years ago (she is now in a skilled nursing facility). I felt GUILTY also... but I called on the local Office of the Aging and they sent a woman out to formally 'evaluate' my mother's behavior and daily living skills. After the assessment was completed and formally evaluated... she MORE than qualified for assisted living. After that, I felt much less guilty and they helped me in getting her assistance. My mother loved assisted living... she got to interact with others her own age and made a lot of friends. Now in skilled nursing, she doesn't interact with others so much but receives excellent care from the staff. Those facilities are there for a reason... and the one my mom is in is a God send. Prayers for you buddy... it's not pleasant going through what you [and your family] are experiencing.
Yep, that is what needs to happen, as tough as it may be. It certainly wouldn't be fair, IMO, to expose your children to all of this. If she gets mad at you and chooses to disassociate herself with you, just remember, that is her choice in which you have no control. All you can do is control how you respond to her decisions.
I know its a hard choice and you will feel guilty. My family went through a similar situation with my grand dad. We ultimately decided assisted living was the way to go. He as well told us as long as i can remember not to ever put him in it. He's been there for going on 4 years now and has no problems being there. It only took a week or so of him not talking to us and being angry but he realized that was best for him he started talking to us again. He now has friends there and loves the nursing staff. So don't feel guilty for doing what you have to to keep your mother and family safe.
I can understand your feeling brother. Taking a loved one and forcing them into a situation that they do not want for their own good is extremely difficult. Sometimes it's not a question of physically being able, but a question of mentally wanting to go on. Since all the weight is on your shoulders, do what is right for your loved one and pray that they understand why you did what you did.
My parents are in the same situation with my mom's mom for the last 3 months. It's too bad there isn't an easy solution.
Dang man that is a tough situation. I believe she needs to be in assisted living. Have you "laid down the law" yet? Simply (I know it is not simple) tell her she needs to get on to living and push forward with some zest for life, or you will be forced to seek a place for her to live. A person that is physically capable and not that old who is behaving in that manner makes me feel like she is very afraid of the future. Has she ever been to a psychiatrist? I wish you and your family the best.
Yes, I have laid down the "law" with her a few times now, and I get the same crap responses. Yes she has been to a psychiatrist. Regularly actually as she is in our wonderful V.A. system and is on anti depressants and the like, non of which seem to do any good. In fact probably make things worse. The bottom line is that she has zero desire to have a real life again, she is completly content to live off her disability (even after getting a new degree on all of our taxpayer dollars) Than to go out in the world again and be self sufficient. So she sits in her living room watching TV and not doing jack all day, and I mean nothing. Doesn't care for herself, clean, bathe, hell I've seen her not even get up to take her damn dog out. Infuriates me!!!!!!! Everytime she reaches a point where there is no more excuses she finds a way to create one. I could go into detail here but we don't have that kind of time. So now she is back at home from the burn unit, and as I type this my wife is at her house cleaning the place up AGAIN and making sure she has what she needs at the house for the next few days. Sorry I can ramble on this forever, it is just such a waste. I truly do not believe there is anything I can do at this point to wake her up. If this is the life she wants then she essentially is making the choice for me. I have to do what I have to do, the current issue is how to make that all happen..... a very bumpy road ugh, so mentally exhausting
I know ure struggling with this bud and have been...bottom line is clear here and u know what you need to do.....the details arent any easier or less stressful....as someone thats been through it if you have any questions feel free to pm ne and ill answer the best I can Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk 2
