My neighbor, father of 3, committed suicide last night

Discussion in 'The Water Cooler' started by Hooker, Apr 6, 2016.

  1. Buck Magnet

    Buck Magnet Die Hard Bowhunter

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    I have sat back and watched this conversation unfold and I just can't keep quiet anymore. Anybody who is my friend on Facebook has seen that my father is battling ALS right now. I was a firm believer in suicide being selfish and an easy way out....until recently. Today I had to sit back and watch my father uncontrollably cry as my mother explained that he was informed at the ALS clinic today that he was too far gone and he is now going to be in hospice care.

    This man has had every aspect of his life (except his brain function) taken from him. He spends his days with a PERFECT mind that is trapped in a body where he cant hold a fork, he can't dress himself, he can't talk, he can barely eat, he can't bath or use the restroom by himself, he can't walk on his own, and his breathing is less than 50%.

    I honestly and 100% believe that I wouldn't want to live this way. His strength in this situation is why my dad is my hero. If I was in his situation I would rather end it.....and would it be "selfish"? HELL NO. I honestly feel selfish for wanting to have more time with my dad. He is in terrible pain 24/7 and the only thing he is worried about is his wife, kids, and grandkids. He is suffering every day simply so he has another day with us.

    You can sit back and pass judgement or quote religion.... I see it with my own eyes everyday. I have had friends commit suicide for what I thought was the dumbest of reasons, and I am watching somebody suffer unbearably simply to spend more time with their loved ones. Until you know what a person is truly going through, who are you to pass any type of judgement?
     
  2. racewayking

    racewayking Grizzled Veteran

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    I couldn't agree more. To sit back from a computer and call someone a coward, etc. just shows plain ignorance to what might have caused the issue. Mental Health is not easy to understand when you don't suffer from it I guess. I have lost several friends to suicide over the years and I can't honestly say they did it because they were cowards, I could never imagine having the balls to put a bullet in my head but then again I enjoy being alive and haven't had anything drive me to not live.

    Hooker, in the short term reach out and let her know if she needs anything to let you know. She might need someone to watch the kids while she works through things, might need help with other issues and knowing someone is around the corner and willing to help can be a great piece of mind.
     
  3. in da woods

    in da woods Grizzled Veteran

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    yes it is a terrible thing for the family to go through, hard to say if it selfish or not. there may be an underlying cause such as mental illness, guilt, terminal medical issue. the only ones to know for sure are God and the individual that committed suicide. Either way it is heart wrenching on the survivors. I know, I've had a family member commit suicide and have seen it several times as a firefighter/paramedic. the horror of what the family has to deal with initially with the physical destruction of their loved ones, unanswered questions that will haunt them and finally the financial burdens they will face.

    Be there for them as support. something simple as make a meal or two for them. Time is the only thing that will heal that wound.
     
  4. pastorandrew

    pastorandrew Weekend Warrior

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    I lost a cousin to this disease. He was 7 years older than I am and was my hero growing up! Hard thing! I pray that God grants you and your family peace in this time of immense trial. two things I would do. Tell your dad how much you love him everyday, and spend every minute you have available with him. My thoughts are with you friend!
     
  5. tkaldahl2000

    tkaldahl2000 Weekend Warrior

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    As someone who has battled severe depression, I can tell you that there comes a point where you honestly believe that everyone would just be better off without you. I got medical help before I got to the point of acting on that thought, but even with meds it still isn't easy.

    I am no longer on meds, but that was not by choice. Everyone was up in arms about the death panels we would get from Obama care, but they are perfectly happy to pay insurance companies to do the same thing. My psych meds were going to cost more than my house payment, and the insurance company said no. Withdrawal was absolute hell, and talk about feeling suicidal. Fortunately I made it through all of that, and for now regular exercise and time in the woods are seeming to help. I'm not cured, but I am making it a day at a time.
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2016
  6. elkguide

    elkguide Grizzled Veteran

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    One day at a time.
    We all have our demons to fight but I'm a winner and the demons are going to lose!
    Good luck in your battles. You can do it.
     
  7. BikiBoki

    BikiBoki Weekend Warrior

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    Sending all the positive energy I can muster your way......keep on keep'in on!

    Bill
     

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