Most embarrassing thing that's happened to you in the stand.

Well.. i'll make sure I have an extra pair of gloves in my bag. because if I try to sucker punch it and it isn't a good hit and he escapes with my glove than i'll have extra gloves. my luck it will happen again!!! lol

 

if you want weird things to happen just hunt with me. here's another one: this isn't in a treestand but is still funny. we arrived at the parking lot at the gamelands and my buddy took a wiz by some red brush on the edge of the parking lot. well I thought nothing of it and we went to our hunting spot. can't remember why but we were hunting together that day. when we sat down I got a wiff of this pungent odor. you guessed it, after searching where the awful smell was coming from we found it on the bottom of his boot. when he took a pee by the red brush he stepped in someones crap. let me tell you he had a heck of a time getting it out of the tred of his boot. I still to this day rag on him about peeing around where other people are parking.

 

last one: I was trying to get in under a gobbler during the spring season. well I guess I picked his location spot on. as I was sitting there waiting for daylight something hit me on the brim of my hat? then something hit my leg, then all over me like little hard nuggets. then a loud gobble rang out directly above me. yep, that freaking gobbler was crapping all over me. he paid for it as soon as he hit the ground. 21# 10" beard. luckily he didn't have the runs!!! I can go on with weird stories all day.

 

This also didn't happen in a tree stand, nor was I even bow hunting. I was rifle elk hunting and it had been hot and I wasn't having a lot of luck getting on to them. My dad and cousin were tagging along mostly just to give me a hard time. I had them drive me to meadow that I had seen elk on before to drop me off so I could pick my way through some dark timber and they would pick me up on the far side. We pulled up and parked, I had a sandwich before the hike, discussed where I was headed and laughed and joked for a while before I packed up and headed out. As I walked across the meadow I was getting my gear situated and pack on, before I started climbing the ridge on the far side I thought I better relive myself. I stopped next to a small pine tree to take care of business. As I am tinkling, I look below the tree and I see a quiver of arrows. As I look closer the bow as well as the bowhunter are also under the tree. I muttered something like "Nice camo" and got out of there. I was incredibly embarrassed and felt terrible for messing up this guys hunt for the better part 20 minutes and then top it off by urinating on his hiding spot. It has been several years but I always expect to hear the story from the other side. "My buddy was under this tree one time and this stupid rifle hunter whizzed on him..."

 

I missed a huge 6 point, at 5 yards, twice. Then an hour or so later missed a much smaller buck, at 5 yards, twice. It was a rough day.

 

Back in my early days of hunting I had a pair of hooded coveralls. After playing whack a mole in my stand for an hour, I couldn't take it anymore so I climbed down to take a dump. Well, I dropped my drawers, grabbed a sapling, leaned back and let er rip. What I didn't notice is my hood was sticking out directly behind me and guess where it all went? That's right....a hood full o crap!


There was also this time I was standing along a river bank pounding my pud and I saw some guy sitting in a tree watching me!

 

I was around 16 years old, it was the first time I went out Turkey hunting by myself. I got out into the woods about 30 min. before sun up, found myself a nice tree to sit against, listened to the Turkey gobble on the roost while waiting for it to get light outside and the turkey to fly off the roost. Just as it started to get light enough outside to where I could see more than 20 yards in front of me I saw this small dark object walking toward me, I threw my hands up in the air to make sure what ever it was coming toward me would see me and avoid getting any closer, it got closer and closer and before I knew it I had a skunk standing 5 feet from me. That was my first lesson that skunks have terrible eyesight. It stopped curiously sniffed the air once it realized I was there (I was frozen in fear), it turned around, I got up (without my gun) and bolted the other direction not chancing getting sprayed. It never did spray, it just very nonchalantly walked away. I went back to the tree and by then the Turkey had flew off the roost, I called in 3 jakes, shot one and got my very first turkey.

 

Back in my High School days, I had no money for equipment and safety harness had not invented yet, so I used my Dad's OLD squared head lag-bolts for treestand steps.

Anyways, I ended up slipping off one of the lag-bolts and stated to fall...to my discomfort, the next lag-bolt down on the tree snagged my pants and it started to dig into my thigh and I stopped falling with a lag-bolt in my groin. Missing the femoral artery, but it caught the main vein!

It hurt so freaking bad, I couldn't move my left leg and my 1971 International Scout had a manual 3 speed transmission...so, I held the key/starter down, while it was in 1st gear..the truck lerched and jerked(probably 20 seconds), until it the engine finally started.

There's a reason my wife and I don't have kids!
MOBU

 

ouch!!!

 

Here is another for you guys.

A long time ago, I bought this dragging harness thing. Basically, you snap it on like a safety harness minus the leg straps. On the bottom of the back piece is a D loop where you tie a rope and then tie it off on the deer. Its supposed to making dragging a deer easier.

Well, I"m hear to say that it might work great on level ground, but not on steep terrain, covered in snow. Do not ask why I felt the need to use the thing on this occasion.

I shot a doe that ended up going down in this steep hollow, just over the lip. I found her, dressed her out and decided to drag her up the hill. Well, I remembered that harness was in my pack and I needed to try it out. At the time, there was about 3 inches of snow on the ground that slightly crusted over. Footing was a bit of a problem. I hooked it all up and started tugging her up the hill. You know once in a while, you get the back legs of a deer wrapped around a tree base? Well I was yanking on her to try to free her legs. Thats when all hell broke loose. She broke fee alright, knocking me off my feet. This hill in at least a 45 degree slop, if not worse and its about 50 yards to the bottom where a small creek runs through. When the deer broke free of the tree, she started down the hill... fast! I was tied to her by this devil harness and I of course followed her. I tried breaking the slide on various things but nothing helped. I ended up going into the stream with the deer at the bottom of the hill. Several scratches, scrapes and a big bruise on by bottom were the result. Thank goodness no one was around for that one.

So, as a lesson here... do not under any circumstances tie yourself to a deer in any way on a steep hill. It does not end well.

 

For me, dropping a big ole steamer off my lock on and the neighbor in his field. I was on the edge of my property. He text and ask why the moon was so bright.

Sent from my XT830C

 

I was getting set up, in my climber. I nocked an arrow and proceeded to drop my quiver, no big deal right? So im sitting and i started fiddling with my bowstring and pulled on it a tad, maybe a half inch. Then pop, my arrow goes out 3 feet and drops 20.

 

yikes!!! lookout below, coming through!!!

 

Last season was my first bow season. Mind you, I have been rifle hunting since I was 12 so I thought I would have some sort of control over myself in the bow stand. I had seen 6 or 8 deer from different stand but nothing close enough to even get me excited, I am talking 80 or more yards out. When I was hunting back at home, my brother would stick me in his favorite spot, the spot he has taken more bow deer from than I can even begin to recall. One morning I went back home, to the spot. I just felt incredibly good about that day in general, I felt like my first bow kill was going to happen. After about 2 hours of sitting, I hear something behind me. I slowly look over my shoulder and there is a nice 6 pointer with the WHITEST, shiniest antlers I had ever seen and he was coming STRAIGHT to me in a very calm walk!

I got behind the tree I was in as much as I could, got ready as he was bee lining for me. He stopped 18 yards from my tree, broad side, head behind the base of a tree, munching away. For a first time bow kill, you could NOT have asked for a BETTER shot. I was so excited from the second I seen him, I mean it was like my first deer hunt all over again, the first time seeing antlers all over again. I had no control over myself, it was like my brain stopped working when he stopped that close and perfectly for me!

With his head still behind that tree, I tried to draw my bow but for the life of me could not draw it! I had shot that bow thousands of times before that season, I know I can do it! I struggled and struggled but could not figure out what was going on, why I couldn't draw. All I could think is I can't be that cold, it wasn't that cold out! As I am struggling, this dang deer still just stands there for what feels like several minutes. Finally he takes about 8 steps forward, digging around, eating ever so calmly. As I am still struggling, I see him turn his head and look directly at the base of the tree I am in. I stop moving, half behind the tree, I can only see him with one eye at this point. He followed the tree right up to me and stared at me. Once again, this felt like several minutes. I was locked onto those eyes as he kept staring at me, next that tail twitched 2 or 3 times and he trots off about 60 yards up the hill side and stops. He looks back at me as to give me that "Haha, you suck!" kind of look and calmly walked off.

After he was gone and I settled down a bit, I realized what I was doing in all that excitement. I did not have my bow arm extended and I was trying to push the bow and pull the string at the same time! I felt so darn stupid at that point! It was like I literally could not function or think the whole time that deer was in my sight!

I have told this story many times and I get the same laugh followed by "If I were you, I wouldn't be telling that story to anyone!" Well, it was my first time out bow hunting....you live and learn! lol

 

Didn't happen to me but a pretty funny story. My brother in law was putting on anhydrous two falls ago for our local coop. He was out in the middle of an 80 and nature called. He stopped about 20 yards away from a fence line full of evergreens and thick brush and started his business. About 3/4 of the way through he looked over and saw a guy sitting in the fence line hunting, awkwardly looking around. I still give him crap to this day about that.

Another one like one mentioned above. We were goose hunting late season down in Rochester. It was me and three of my buddies. We were about 3 short of our limit when nature called for one of my buddies. He quickly ran over to the nearest fence line and began his business. Shortly thereafter a flock of honkers was coming in hot from about 1/2 mile away. In his attempt to get it done quicker so he could make it back to get some shooting in, he didn't take the time to move his coveralls out of the way. Well he crapped right down the back, inside of them. For anyone who has hunted in a layout blind, you know how much pressure gets put on your back when laying down. Well.. that's when he found out about his little mistake. Funniest thing I've ever seen!

 

I have come within seconds of that.. barely had my feet on the ground and I was running for a tree and unbuttoning everything while I am running. Haha.

I took my nephew out squirrel hunting. We take our lunch break and I take him to the local pizza shop in town. Little did I know, he is lactose intolerant and he didn't say anything. We go back out for the afternoon hunt and he tells me he has to go. I told him to find a secluded spot and do what he was to do. Poor kid, I wasn't thinking and didn't give him TP or anything. He comes back with both of his sleeves missing. I fell down laughing and couldn't stop. Then the poor kid tells me he had to use his boxers too..

 

My funniest so far has to be when I first started hunting. I got my dad's rifle, head to the woods in the dark. I really didn't think to layer up good, so I got chilly quick. The sun comes out and I see a hollowed out tree not too far away, so I get up and move over to that tree and nestle in to keep the wind off me and provide a little extra warmth. Needless to say, I fell asleep inside the hollowed out tree. I woke up a while later, with a decent buck sniffing my face. It scared the crap out of me, so I jumped and yelled and the deer took off. I felt like a complete moron and it took me years to tell my dad what happened.

 

next time, just close your eyes count to 10 and take a few deep breaths to gather your composure. and if you are in a stare down just close your eyes and the deer will stop staring at you I promise. works every time.

 

id have to say really i wasn't embarrassed but im sure she was.... i was about 20 feet up in a nice oak up on a ridge when i heard some leafs being crunched behind me... so i turned and looked and off in the near distance i notice this dog coming my way. i just stay quite and then i see this lady following the dog... they ended up stopping about 30 yards to my right of me now im not saying a word just watching... she started to throw this ball around for the dog to get... after id say about 5 mins of that i look and i see her drop her pants and start to take a **** first thing comes to my mind is whistle at her ;-) and the other is OMFG this can not be happening i am so out of here... now keep in mind she has no clue im even there. so what do i do... instead of just keeping quite my dumb *** whistles at her... she jumps up looking all around and still has no sense to look up... i just started to laugh and she finally noticed me grabs her pants yanks them up grabs her dog and runs... so what do i say sorry, but you forgot to wipe... i then heard her say F you out loud. i got out of there right away and went down to meet my buddy and told him what happened and he started to bust out laughing and then says i thought i heard someone say f you loud by the back... so we decided to move to a local apple orchard that we had permission to hunt and continue to hunt for that afternoon.