I lost my Dad on the 4th of this month. He was my hero and mentor in almost all facets of life. I’ve been told that the hurt of his loss won’t ever go away… while I know he is with Jesus now and doing better than ever, it’s not helping that deep hole. Mom is still very healthy but has lost her husband of 62 years. I am needing to be strong for her and my younger sister. My wife and I are putting an addition on our home so mom can be totally independent but still right there when she needs us. She has never driven and was always a stay at home mom her whole life . Dad did everything. Now I am taking over that to relieve her of having to deal with all that. There has been so much to do… I never could have imagined how difficult this could be… Those of you that have lost a parent or parents, how did you push through the initial grief period? I don’t want to do anything I normally do… splitting wood, fishing, don’t really feel like hunting… Maybe I should see a therapist… I don’t know Sent from my iPhone using Bowhunting.com Forums
A therapist will only help the therapist. A life situation in September 1973, I found comfort in Psalm 121. Still do.
Very sorry for your loss, I know it hurts! I lost my Dad, who was my very best friend in the whole world about 7 years ago. The pain never really goes away, it just gets a little easier to deal with as time goes on. You need to focus on the good times you had with your Dad, you'll always have those memories. I so badly miss all the days when I'd get back from a hunting or fishing trip and share the details/pics with my Dad, he always loved hearing about them. I don't have the same enthusiasm for the activities I enjoy, like I had when I could share them with my Dad. It just isn't the same, and it never will be. Again, sorry for your Dad's passing.
Lost my dad 30 years ago. He was my hero. All I can say is it does get easier with time. It "the grief" never goes away it just doesn't consume your thoughts so much. I still cry from time to time; when I see or hear something that reminds me of him.
Sorry for your loss Tony. What helped me when I lost my mom 4 years ago was always try to think about the happiness that she gave and not the bad times. I also changed my routine to get some of the “reminders “ less prominent. Time is the best healer of all but it takes time to feel better. If you need to talk to someone then by all means do it. My wife and I are going through the loss of her father this past April and her mother is having a hard time with it, they were together for 60 years and that’s pretty much what she has known… but now it’s different. Even though you don’t feel like doing much I would highly suggest that you push yourself a little bit to try and get out do something you like even though it may feel wrong. Tree therapy has always been good for me, very peaceful and it’s a good place to gather your thoughts.
Tony I'm so sorry for your family's loss. You sir are a good son and brother, know your dads watching over you and as proud as he can be. I can't address your handling the sorrow for I watched my mom die 23 days after my 12th birthday, a whole different situation.. All I can do is tell you I cried and it was for years and years. Yes crying does help some ppl. I talk to her as well and still do I drive by her cemetery weekly and say Hi as I do, as I go on errands. Memories are a wonderful thing and become better as years go by for the saddness ingrained in them, loss, fades. GOD BLESS
I’m sorry to hear Tony. I lost my Dad 45 years ago. I don’t know but I’m guessing the dead would tell us to love one another, do good things and enjoy this life while we can. We are all going to die, no sense sitting around doing nothing while we are alive. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Let me add, it's hard to lose a parent or child. Both my parents are gone but I still have the memories of several decades and a box full of photos going back their parents' days.
Very sorry for your loss Tony. My Dad passed 2 years ago and it left a black hole in my heart. Still days where I will go sit on the porch and there is just an empty feeling that I assume will always be there. I feel for you man because I know it hurts. May the Lord Bless you in healing and peace.
I am very sorry to hear of this Tony. Both my parents are coming on 79 and the inevitable is starting to be spoken about amongst my parents and I. It hurts just thinking of it. We love you buddy.
I do not agree with the anti talk therapy, I replaced brain drugs with a weekly meeting. A trained professional can help guide you to mindful pursuit of navigating the process. It sucks to lose a parent, I am haunted by the last conversation I had with my Mom she inadvertently called me said wrong person talk to you later, she died 3 hours later.
Sorry to hear this Tony. I have not lost my parents yet. I know it's not too far off for me. Since i have not gone thru this, all i can do is imagine. Something I do when I do lose someone close is i try and not get caught up in the grief, and just embrace it. I try and remember all the good stuff and just let myself cry in happiness. It works well for me. Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk
It does suck to become the elders, as you lose the people beloved your mentors. You look around and you are the elder and you wonder if you fit the role.
Sorry for your loss Tony. I watched my wife deal with it with her dad four years ago. Sounds like you had a good dad and good relationship, focus on the positive, it will lessen the pain with time. Counseling may be necessary, don't be ashamed if you think you need it. It has helped my wife.
Sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is so tough. I lost my dad 14 years ago. The hurt does ease over time but you will always think about them and miss them. I still think about my dad a lot, especially when I'm hunting or fishing. He absolutely loved being outdoors. I also think about him a lot when I take my son out and try to pass on my knowledge of everything my dad taught me.
I lost my dad 15 years ago, just before his 54th birthday. It sucks just as much today as it did then. Like others, I still shed a tear from time to time when something reminds me of him. Or when I think about what a great grandpa he would have been to my kids. Like most painful things, only time will dull the pain. It never goes away, but you learn to live with it. For me, I try to think about the almost 30 years we spent together and the adventures we went on and how lucky I am to have those memories. And I hope he's looking down and is proud. My wife lost her dad about 2 months ago, which hasn't been easy. They were super close and while she seems okay on the outside, I know she's still hurting. There isn't much you can do other than focus on continuing with life. It doesn't stop, and you have a finite amount of it. Would he want you moping around, not doing what you enjoy, and making life worth living?
My regret is my father only got to see one grandson. My mother lived long enough to see four of them. I'm fortunate to have been around when all nine were born and now have a 2 yo great-grandson.
That's the thing that bothers me most: my kids never got to meet their grandpa. Hanging with my grandpa as a kid and young adult gave me some of the best memories of my life. He taught me a lot of lessons that have stuck with me until today. We spent a lot of hours on his boat, tossing lures and chatting about life. I always try to think of that when I'm doing things with my own boys. What would my dad have taught them if he were around? Hang in there, T! As much as it doesn't seem like it, things will get better in time. Be there for your mom and your family, but don't lose sight of your own life while doing so. Our time in this place is limited; make the most of every day.
