•What kind of motorcycle does Santy ride? A "Holly" Davidson! •Why does Santa always go down the chimney? Because it soots him! •Who delivers Christmas presents to pets? Why, Santa Paws of course! •Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays? At a Ho-ho-tel! •What would you call Father Christmas if he became a detective? Santa Clues! •What does Santa get if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobic! •What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santy on his birthday? "Freeze a jolly good fellow!" •How many chimneys does Saint Nick go down? Stacks! •What does Santa put on his toast? "Jingle Jam" •What goes oh, oh, oh? Santa Claus walking backwards! •What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck? A Christmas Quacker! •Why does Santa owe everything to the elves? Because he is an elf-made man! •An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up?? Santa! The other two don't exist! •What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish! •What do you do if Santa Claus gets stuck in your chimney? Pour Santa flush on him! •What's red and green and flies? An airsick Santa Claus! •What does Santa say to the toys on Christmas Eve? Okay everyone, sack time! •What do you call Saint Nick after he has come down the chimney? Cinder Claus! •What do the elves call it when Père Noël claps his hands at the end of a play? Santapplause! •What's red and white and falls down the chimney? Santa Klutz! •Why does Santa like to work in his garden? Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe! •Where does Father Christmas go to vote? The North Poll! •What do you call a kitty on the beach on Christmas morning? Sandy Claws! •What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh! Ho, Ho, Swoosh? Santa caught in a revolving door! •Why does Santa's sleigh get such good mileage? Because it has long-distance runners on each side! •Who delivers presents to dentist offices? Santa Jaws! •How does Père Noël take pictures? With his North "Pole"-aroid! •What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window? Looks like "rain", "Dear"! •What's red & white and red & white and red & white? Santa rolling down a hill! •What is twenty feet tall, has sharp teeth and goes Ho Ho Ho? Tyranno-santa Rex! •How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver? Because he's always in the pole position! •What does Santa use when he goes fishing? His north pole! •Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants? Elephanta Claus! •What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning? Crisp Kringle! •Why does St. Nicholas have a white beard? So he can hide at the North Pole! •What do you call Santa when he has no money? Saint "Nickel"-less! •What smells most in a chimney? Santa's nose! •What does Kris Kringle like to get when he goes to the donut shop? A jolly roll! •What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas? A rebel without a Claus! •What did Santa get when he crossed a woodpecker with kleenex? Rapping paper! •What does Santa like to have for breakfast? Mistle-"toast"! •What is invisible but smells like milk and cookies? Kris Kringle burps!
Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, Id like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna, Im 71 years old. If I dont ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, Ill make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Fred, "By golly, I did everything could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Fred replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Edna fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blond standing next to him smiling. "What do you have in your pocket?" she asked. "Tennis ball," the man said smiling back. "Wow," said the blonde looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!"
So these two ladies walk into a mortician’s office. The first woman says to the mortician, “I’ve got my husband here in his very best blue suit, but what I’d really appreciate is if you could have him in a black suit for the funeral. Here’s a blank check, use whatever you need, I just want him in a black suit.” The mortician agrees and thanks the woman and the first woman leaves. Now the second woman comes in and says, “I know I’ve brought my husband wearing a black suit, but I’ve always really loved him in blue. Is there any way you can have him in a blue suit for his funeral?” The mortician assures her that it’s not a problem and the second woman thanks her and leaves. A few days later the mortician shows up at the first man’s funeral and his widow walks up and says, “Thank you so much for doing this. My husband looks wonderful in the black suit you found him.” The mortician replies, “Of course, I was happy to do it. And here’s your check back.” “No, I really appreciate it and I want to pay you, just take whatever you need.” “Oh no really, it didn’t cost me anything. You see, right after you came in a woman showed up with her husband in a black suit and she wanted him wearing blue. So in the end all I had to do was switch the heads.”
Bob asks his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She answers..... "I'd love to be ten again." So on the morning of her birthday, he gets her up bright and early and off they go to the local Theme Park. What a day! He puts her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear...everything there is! Wow! She staggers out of the Theme Park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right Into McDonald's they go, and her husband orders a Double Big Mac for her along with extra fries and a refreshing strawberry shake. Then off to a movie...it's the latest 'Star Wars' epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Cola, and M & M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbles home with her husband and collapses into bed. He leans over lovingly and asks, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" She opens one eye and she groans, . . . "You idiot, I meant dress size."
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."
Gender Identity If you're like most people, common everyday items look inert to you. But what you may not know is that many of them have a gender. For example... Ziploc Bags -- Male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them. Copier -- Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and often it's over inflated. Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. . . and, of course, there's the hot air part. Sponges -- Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water. Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on. Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. Remote Control -- Female . . . Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
Leaving Montreal, I decided to stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go into the washroom. The first stall is taken, so I go into the second stall. I had just sat down when I hear a voice from the other stall............ "Hi there, how is it going?" Okay, I am not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms sitting on a toilet. I didn't know what to say, so finally I say:"Not bad............" Then the voice says: "So, what are you doing?" I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm going back east..............." Then I hear the person, all flustered, say: "Look, I'll call you back--every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me!"
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again." Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?" "I'm taking Earlene with me."
King Arthur Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals So the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.... The question: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch. Only she would know the answer. The price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he'd have to accept her price first: The old witch wanted to marry him. Young Arthur was horrified: She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, and made obscene noises. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature. Finally, having no real choice, he agreed. Their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur total freedom. What a wedding Arthur and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. He was proper as always, gentle, and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable. The hour approached. Arthur, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! The astounded Arthur asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the time, and the other half she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night? What a cruel question! Arthur pondered his predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Arthur chose follows below......but don't read until you've made your own choice....... . . . . . . . Noble Arthur replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. What is the moral of this story? The moral is: If your woman doesn't get her own way, things are going to get ugly!
With all do respect, I call bravo sierra on this! When a woman offers you the option to 'choose', no true answer is expected. Rather, this is a false scenario used by the woman to give her the opportunity to say 'no, I don't want that. Think of another', as in, Wife- "Honey, where do you want to eat tonight?" Hubbie- "I don't care, what are you hungry for?" Wife- "You decide" Hubbie- "I'll call for Pizza" Wife- "oooh, I'm not in the mode for pizza, think of something else" Hubbie- "chinese" Wife- "Naah, think of something else" etc etc ad nauseum....
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It, 'In.' 5 . Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker for 3 weeks. < I> Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Smuggling Diamonds.' 7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.' 8 . Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip, Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is, 'To Go.' 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!' 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling, 'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."< BR> Th e nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. 3. I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!" 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. ! My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"
MEN AND WOMEN Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Game Wardens do not have a sense of humor As you all know, it is now Late Archery Season here in the State of Washington. I have been out Bow Hunting as much as possible. I love this time of the year out in the woods. The weather has mostly been pretty nice, the Fall Colors are breathtaking and the anticipation of seeing a monster buck in the rut keep my heart pumping at it’s fullest. The alarm clock has yet to catch me sleeping when it finally decides to go off at 4 a.m. because I have been awake for at least a half of an hour. I’ve been just like a little kid on Christmas Morning, anxiously awaiting the adventures of the days hunt. When the sun finally comes up it finds me out in the woods sitting on my three legged stool, bow across my lap with an arrow nocked and ready to let fly. All of my ghillie suit has leaves interlaced in the mesh so that I look like a big bush just waiting for a buck to stumble into my shooting lanes. This brings me to my current report about late archery season and my success. A Couple of days ago I was sitting ready, willing and able to shoot myself a big buck. I was a little tired from the 4 mile hike into my hunting area. The road in is a pretty nice logging road, but from where I have to park the truck it is a mile or so down hill to a bridge over a creek, then you have to climb up hill for 1,000 feet before the hilltop flattens out. Of course, way across the top of the hill on the backside is where all the deer activity is and has been, so that is where I had to walk to and get all set up. I’m getting to blooming old to make that trip with a 50 pound pack on my back plus my bow, a pair of Binoculars and a range finder on my chest. Not to mention the weight of the ghillie suit. But, none the less I made it there without having a major heart attack. So, I settled into my hunting spot for a much deserved and welcome rest. The woods settled down to dead quite, except for chirping of the birds, the quacks from ducks flying overhead and occasionally the chatter from a squirrel or two. Just about daylight I head a buck snorting and thrashing the brush with his rack. He was Close! I could tell that he must be a dominate buck because suddenly I heard the crashing of a younger buck as he hastily retreated from the area. A little ways away and partially across the plateau I cold hear a doe making sexy little calls to the buck as she came our direction. I kept thinking to myself, “Please, please don’t let her stumble into me and make her spook that big buck!” Luck was on my side for a change. As first light of day came sneaking into the clearing I was watching I spied the doe about 20 yards away. Carefully and slowly I began to glass the woods for the buck. He literally melted right out of the heavy brush and only 45 yards away. That set my heart to beating, especially when I counted the points on each side! One side I counted 7 points and the other I counted 5 points. Wow! He is a Monster Non-typical and he’s big enough to be a New State Record! He’s also a candidate for Pope and Young record books, Plus Boone and Crockett record books. I immediately ripped off my Binoculars and range finder, pull up my face mask, don my hood and check my bow to make sure that everything is ready for a shot of a lifetime. Second dragged and seemed like days, as the monster buck strolled forward with that doe in his sights and Lust on his mind. Step by step he came, the lure of the doe had taken over his mind and he had thrown caution to the wind. Not once did he look around for danger. Not once did he hesitate to stop and sniff the wind. He had one thing on his mind and nothing was going to deter him from attaining his goal! My mind raced, my heart pounded, my hands and knees were shaking like leaves in a windstorm. I wasn’t sure if I was even going to be able to draw my bow and settle down enough to make the shot of a lifetime. When the big buck was finally well within range and finally turned broadside to me I slowly but surely raised my bow, smoothly came to full draw and picked a hair right in the kill zone. As if by instinct, the arrow went flying right into it’s intended target; a Direct hit! Precisely where it had been aimed. I heard the thump, watched as the buck jumped and ran off about 15 yards. He stopped, looked all around as to say “what the heck hit me?” Then Mother Nature took a hold of his brains again and he turned to head back to the doe. But, alas, it was not meant to be. He crumpled within a few feet of his beloved quarry. I always wait at least 30 minutes before I let out my war hoop and before approaching my wild game, so I looked at my watch, laid my bow down a safe distance from my feet. Now my whole body was shaking, I had a major knot in my stomach and my mouth was as dry as a cotton ball. This 30 minutes was going to kill me! Trying to calm my nerves I dug my thermos of coffee and a donut out of my pack. I think I spilled at least two cups of coffee on to the ground as I tried to carefully pour the hot liquid. Then I set my mind to the task of getting out my gimble and knives, so that I would be ready to set to the task of gutting my prize after I had taken a gazillion photos. My trusty Canon Digital DSLR camera and the tripod came out of the pack and I attached the big telephoto lens to the camera so that I could take a few photos of the buck from my ambush point. After I took 20 to 30 photos from my spot, I changed back to the wide angle lens for close ups. I also attached the remote trigger to the camera so that I could get in the photos with my beast. As I finished my donut and second cup of coffee I looked at my watch for the first time and was happy to see that it only took me 45 minutes to calm down. I also saw that it was more than enough time to slowly, but carefully approach my victim. Back came the shakes! I could hardly believe my eyes when I got close enough to finally get to touch my monster! He was absolutely Huge! Bigger than I had originally thought he was. I wrapped my hands around his horns at the base to move his head so that I could get a closer look at his rack. That is when I suddenly realized that I was in deep trouble! This buck was so big and so heavy that I could barely move his head! How was I going to be able to spread his legs and keep them spread so that I could gut him? My gimble was designed for much smaller deer. Then came the thought; how am I going to get this monster all the way back to my truck? Even if I quartered him up, it was going to take me a good many trips back and forth to the truck, plus I would be at it all day. Suddenly I remembered a friend that had told me that if I ever get a deer to give him a call. He has a deer cart that would easy the transportation issue. So I turned on my cell phone and dialed his number. As luck would have it there was nobody at home. So, I went through all of my local friends phone numbers and even tried my two Son-in-laws. Nobody was at home on my list and the Son-in-laws were at work. What A Dilemma! These Things Always Happen to me! Now I have to get ingenious and figure out a way to get this monumental task done! So, I go back to my pack to access the situation and see what tools O have on hand. Fortunately for me, I grew up as a Boy Scout! I had about 100 feet of rope with me. I could use that to tie onto the bucks legs and over to a tree to separate the legs enough to gut him. This would make the job a tiny bit easier. After I took about 100 photos from every conceivable angle I put my camera away safely and set to work on the task at hand. Even after all my years of hunting, I still hate to gut out an animal! I finally finished the nasty job, I cleaned up as best as possible and decided to try calling everyone I could think of to get help. I had no better luck this time than I did the first time. Now what do I do? There I sat, covered in blood, over 4 miles from my truck with a worthless cell phone that couldn’t get me help, a dead monster trophy, tagged deer, all of my equipment loaded into my pack and a major problem. As I sat there cussing my luck and my phone I had one of my not so “Brilliant Ideas” ! I had a cell phone and I could use it to call for some unlucky help. I quickly dug into a side pouch on my backpack and found my State Hunting Rules and Regulations Pamphlet. That handy dandy pamphlet contains the phone number for the Washington State Game Department Poachers Hot Line! I could call that number and report to the Game Wardens that I had scared off a poacher from a freshly killed monster deer! I just Knew they would come out in force to apprehend the villain! As I lied through my teeth to the poor soul on the phone I felt a twinge of remorse, but hey; nothing was going to keep me from getting that deer back to my truck! After I hung up the phone with the game department I quickly removed the deer transport tag from the deer’s rack and I moved it to the deer’s tongue. Then I shoved the tongue back into it’s mouth. In about an hour and a half 3 Game Wardens showed up riding on 4 wheelers. They couldn’t believe their eyes when they saw that monster buck! They took down all of my information and told me that they would give me a ride back to my truck if I wanted to accompany them back down the hill. I quickly said yes and grabbed my gear for the ride out. When we got back to the parking area they pulled up to the trucks and dismounted the 4 wheelers. Then they hooked up a set of straps to the deer and swung a little side boom crane over to pick it up. I waited until they had the deer in the air before I stopped them and confessed to my evil doings.
That is when I found out that Game Wardens Do Not Have a Sense of Humor! Even after I showed them that the deer was Legally tagged and I apologized to them for being such a terrible person did they find this situation amusing! They did however swing the deer over the bed of my truck and lay it down gently. The oldest and Highest Ranking Warden did however give me his name and badge number, he did so on a slip of paper that said something about a Citation and also something about a fine $2,500.00. Gee whiz! I didn’t realize that I would be rewarded with a Citation and $2,500.00 for killing such a fine deer, not to mention helping the Game Wardens get out in the woods to breathe fresh air! I get to go to Court on November 27th. to collect my just reward! I think the warden also said that the State might even give me a 30 day vacation in a place called The Grey Bar Motel! Luck was really with me on this hunt! As soon as I get a chance to do all the photo editing I’ll be emailing you a ton of photos of me, my monster deer and also a photo or two of me on vacation at The Grey Bar Motel, where ever that is! Take Care and get out in those woods to hunt! Sincerely, Richard M. (****) Raymond Jr.
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women, from England , Scotland and Ireland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?' The man said 'No' so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Scottish woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?' The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The Irish woman came to him and said, 'ave ya ever been fooked, lad?’ The man broke into a big smile and said, 'no’. She said, 'Aye- Well ya will be when the tide comes in.’
