LOL...I kinda mentioned that to hubby the other day Remember you get to retire but I have to work the rest of my life. Don't push it "3 square and a cot " is looking good!
No joke but found funny The other day hubby turned to me and said,big light bulb grin, You know we both have Double enitials?! IE...RR and BB I just started laughing ...What? I said 41 yrs and you just now realized that? Sometimes getting old is funny.
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, One guy looks at the other and says,”I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.” The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!” The first guy says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?” The other guy answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.” The first guy responds, “Sure and begorra, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?” The other guy says, “A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.” The first guy says, “Faith & it’s a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?” The other guy answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s of course.” The first guy gets really excited, and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?” The other guy answers, “Well, now, I graduated in 1964.” The first guy exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self.” About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters,”It’s going to be a long night tonight, the Murphy twins are drunk again.”
My favorite CV meme. (Actually wouldn't call this a joke but a legitimate question!) "IS THERE A TAX THAT I CAN PAY TO STOP THE CORONA VIRUS..... OR DOES THAT ONLY WORK FOR CLIMATE CHANGE?"
A truck driver was driving along the freeway saw a sign that read, 'Low Bridge overhead' but, before he could stop, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police officer approaches, puts his hands on his hips, and says, "Got stuck - huh?" "No," the truck driver says, "I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Whenever you start feeling bad just remember that somewhere out there Bill Clinton is quarantined with Hillary!
A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down, he swung again and missed. "Strike two!" he cried. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again, he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike three!" "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"
The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.” The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he’s the village blacksmith.
A hurricane is headed for a small town. The news says that everyone needs to evacuate. A religious man in the town says “I’m not going to leave my home, God will protect me”. The hurricane hits, and it’s bad. There’s mass flooding, and the police come to the man’s door and tell him he needs to leave. The man says “I’m not afraid, God will protect me.” The police give up and leave him. The water rises in his house, so the man is forced to climb onto his roof. Just then a National Guard boat comes by and tells him to get in. The man says “I’m not afraid, my God will protect me” and refuses to get in the boat. Eventually the National Guard is forced to give up and move on to help others. Then the man drowns. When he gets to the pearly gates he meets God and says “God, why didn’t you protect me?” God sighs and says “I sent you the news, the police, and a boat. What more did you want?!”
I don't care how much that you liked the soap...…... NEVER walk out of a public restroom smelling your fingers.
Do you ever get up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror and think.... "THAT CAN'T BE ACCURATE?"
As I watch this generation try and rewrite history, one thing that I am sure of...……… it will be misspelled and will have no punctuation.
When a woman says, "CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG," DO NOT UNDER ANY, AND I MEAN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, DO IT!!!!!!
