Agreed. Once we decided to have kids, our wants went out the window for their needs. Not just material needs, their entire upbringing.
I guess we were "fortunate" in that my wife and I never worked at the same time until the kids were in school. She worked to put me through law school, then I got a job in another state and we moved (she worked for the state, so transfering her job was not an option) very shortly thereafter kid #1 arrived and my wife became a full-time mom, and continued that job until kid #2 went to school full time. My wife works now, but her pay covers the cost of parochial school tuition (x2) and funding my girls' college funds, with not a whole lot left over. It was definitely worth it to have her stay home, but I can see the benefits of being able to provide more (trips, etc.) while they are younger. I don't feel like we deprived our children at all, but when they get older, there is plain not the time to take trips and stuff. Now my life runs from Cross Country, to Basketball, to Volleyball to Track to training for all of the above.
I was a stay at home mom for years & I was single! I went to law school,got hired by a police dept then got pregnant earlier than I wanted. So I got married & stayed home. Had 2 more kids. I started an in home licensed daycare so I could still work. Went through a divorce. I made more $ than him so financially I was ok. I kept doing daycare until my kids were in school. I was making 6 figures as a single mom. Daycare is very expensive. So if ur wife is in the position to do what I did, u will still have 2 incomes & no daycare expense & u can write off 75% of ur household expenses, utilities & mortgage. Sent from my DROID3 using Tapatalk 2
Every parent has to make sacrifices for their kids. I've gone without toys or luxuries or even food just to make sure I could provide for them! I hate more than anything when people put themselves before their kids or loved one. Sent from my DROID3 using Tapatalk 2
There are great reasons for doing either. Stay at home parent allows the child and that parent to bond in a special way, but a lot of times if that child is not introduced into a social setting before pre-school, they will be way behind on social skills and have a difficult time interacting with others. While, sending them to daycare subjects them to abuse from other children at times, or learning bad behaviors from "other peoples children." Being able to financially provide for your children is also an important aspect of raising the child, if you are sacrificing so much, that you cannot provide them experience that they otherwise would be having, then you may want to consider that. Are you going to be able to afford to provide those cherished experiences like vacations. We were lucky, the same family that provided care for my wife as she was growing up, also took care of our daughter until school age. It was great. She still had a loving, I would say family, type atmosphere. She also have about 3 other kids to interact and play with most of the time, so she also got social interaction. There's also something to be said for a child learning how to mind for others, and not just their parents. I've seen so many kids that pull the, "your not my dad, I don't have to listen to you" crap, and I think learning how to listen to others is a another important skill for children. For us, we choose to both work, but also found a situation that allowed us to avoid the dreaded "Daycare", and we were happy about that. Plus, it only ran us $300 a moth
It's absolutely worth it. About a year ago the wife and I decided to make adjustments/sacrifices so that she could stay home full time, best decision we have ever made... Kinda funny thinking back... When we were discussing the possibility of not working, to bribe me, she told me that if she stayed home I could go hunting as much as I wanted and she would never complain - I smile just thinking about how bad she wanted to stay home... Though if your wife makes the same pledge, I would suggest getting that in writing.... Oh yeah... And the house still won't be clean :-)
My only reason for doing daycare instead of a career in law was my kids. I went to school for 7 years & ended up not using my education. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make. I grew up in daycares since I was 6 weeks old & I hated it. Some of them were not so good to say the least. I stayed home & raised my kids & I don't regret it at all! I provided a loving warm atmosphere to the kids I took into my daycare. I taught them colors, shapes etc. I didn't put them in front of a tv. I tried to provide them with what their parent would be doing. I Unfortunately not all daycares are like that & are definitely not good for kids. So not only do u have to worry about the financial aspect of it, u have to make sure the daycare u choose is a good one. Sent from my DROID3 using Tapatalk 2
I think it would be a good idea. I like to see that you are weighing the options. Since I was pretty much the breadwinner and self-employed I tried to no avail to get my ex to get a job so I could at least drop down to part-time to have a kid. So... I never had any kids.
I told my wife that is she stayed home, that I would want to forget how to do laundry. Are you telling me this will not happen?
I didn't read anything but the first post because of time but if you think you are going to come home to a quiet spotless house you are mistaken. Your house will actually be in worse shape than if your kids were in daycare all day. Also your wife will need to hand the child care duties to you when you get home so she can get a break. You will be going to work to rest for the next 5 years. Sent from my SCH-I500 using Tapatalk
No, you can still forget how to do laundry. You will just have to get used to wearing unwashed clothes.
If your wife is really organized and goal oriented it could work out as you envision. With a newborn/toddler around the day just slips away.
LOL wait until you find out what happens to your sex life. You have an easy day at work and on your way home you are thinking it would be nice to get laid tonight. You grab your wife's *** in anticipation and she punches you in the nose. That is when you find out the baby has been sick and crying all day with diarrhea that keeps leaking out of the diaper. She needs a break from it so, instead of getting laid, you have a crying, sick baby and **** dripping down your waist.
1. Look at how much she earns and how much daycare costs; and 2. Decide whether or not you want someone else raising your baby. Then, make your decision. Daycare is very expensive anymore and there are a lot of horror stories about providers.
