Me and the wife have been discussing the idea of her staying at home once our little bastard is born. We both like the idea, but with it being a 40% pay cut, would it be worth it? I like the idea of her being there for the kids, keeping the house spotless, cooking, being able to exercise everyday, etc, and me not having to worry about the household duties... ...but then I worry that I probably would not be able to retire as early, we would not be able to save as much for college funds, we would not be able to take as many vacations etc So good people, is it worth it?
This is something my wife and I have discussed as well. Fortunately, we're in professions that allow us both to continue to work while never having to worry about someone else watching the kids. Our main focus is that WE raise our children, and not someone else. That said, we haven't taken it off the table. If we weren't able to adjust our schedules to allow one of us to be home at all times, we'd be making due with just one income until the kids were in school. At that point I'm sure we'd both work. Either of us would be too bored just staying at home. I personally think it's worth it, but in the end it's what's important to you.
Having kids is learning about sacrifice, I am not talking about giving them everything and what they want. True sacrifice and you will know what this is very soon hooker. We did 3 years, my wife took 3 years off for each kid. It worked very well for us.
Let her start a business from home while she's raising the kids and within 5 year+- you'll be able to quit your current job and you both run the business. It's America, live the dream. Ps, I like where you heads at though.
I've been a stay at home dad since we moved back from Canada for the last year and a half. I did so mainly because my wife wanted to go back to school and get her second degree in accounting and gain some work experience. Also did it because since our kids were born I never got to spend much time with them at the resort. Running all day 7 days a week for months on end took a lot of time away from my family. Its the best thing I have ever done in respect for my family. There are tons of sacrifices to be made. I hunt very little anymore and don't travel at all like I used to. Do I miss it, sure, but the kids are more important. Now that Wyatt is 5.5 and in Kindergarten and Z is 2.5 she has started daycare 2 days a week to be around other kids and I'm going a bit crazy. I'll probably work part time at one of my families grocery stores over winter to get out a bit more. I dabbled a little bit in veggie farming this summer for our stores and am expanding the operation to large scale next spring, so I'll be back to work full time. So, it was totally worth it IMO as I got to spend a lot of time with the kids and help them get a head start with their education. With Wyatt in kindergarten, we can see that it made a huge difference. I have only done it for 2 years, but in the grand scheme of things 5 years (until they hit school) is a very short period of time.
One thing to consider is day care costs. So even if your wife continued to work, you would be hit with a reduction in spending money. A friend of mine is now a stay at home mom w/3 kids, because its cheaper than what she made working that went straight to day care costs.
True, but I don't think daycare would be more than what she makes right now, especially with only 1 kid.
My wife is a "stay at home" mother but that phrase really does not come close to describing what she does. She "makes" money for us doing the many, many things she does here at the house. She also homeschools our daughter and that is very important to us. So, for us, it is way more than worth it for her to focus her energies here instead at a job. As far as contributing to retirement, she is doing that in devising many ways to cut costs in our household so that, come that time, we will get a very good return on a dollar spent.
LOL You may want to check costs. A daycare that you trust with your infant is not inexpensive, especially if they are changing diapers.
We have priced daycares, and most are around $2k/month for an infant. That would not be more than she is currently making...
A lot less than around here. Not to pry but, she NETS more than 24K? If it is a lot more then maybe it would be worth it to you for her to keep working. It wouldn't be for me and my family but everyone is different. Keep in mind that children are little sponges and the more awake during the day the child is, the more it is learning and it is learning it from whomever it may be with.
It really is different for each set of parents. For us, putting kids in daycare was not an option. We had to make financial sacrifices, because like you, my wife was making more than daycare would have cost us. My wife worked in daycare when she was younger for a few years, and she vowed there was no way she would ever put her kids in daycare. I agreed, so we did what we had to do to make it work. Our income went down, but it was still a very easy decision for us.
I agree with most everyone that it's a personal preference. It's not really "someone else raising my child" and some people just can not make it on one income only even with the reduction in spending because of daycare. Just not possible. For us, because of other expenses we have that are non negotiable, we cannot afford to only have one income, even if that income went up. I stayed at home while I was in college, but going back to school, I will continue to work. Neither of us would be content just staying at home & I second the opinion that your standards of your wife being at home all day are crazy. There will most definitely be days that the laundry isn't done, there are dishes in the sink, she didn't get out of her sweatpants all day & there will not be dinner. I'm sure she's an awesome wife & will be a great mother but expecting that because she's home all day is absurd & there will still be household chores she will need your help with.
These two sum it up for us as well. It is our main focus. I think many people feel this way. It's not about financial sacrifice as much as it is children sacrifice. We feel that providing our children with more parent time is more responsible than providing them with more stuff. Again, we're in the lucky crowd where we'll be able to do both, but should that change the decision for us will be based around our children being home with us (or at worst, with a grandparent, which to me isn't great, but isn't terrible if it isn't more than a day or two a week). Btw, I'm definitely not coming down on those who simply can't afford it because, sadly, some can't. It sounds like in Hooker's case, it is possible. He's weighing his options of living more frugally, and concerned about retirement vs more parent time. Granted, I agree that children are a full-time job and the idea that it'll be like a movie isn't realistic.
you know you are going to get all different responses both theoretical and alot based on experience. However, I can tell you from experience that the wife and I both worked full time. My kids are well adjusted, have great grades in regular school and to be honest we have done a lot with them. In our case my wife was in a profession with licensing and experience, she is a nurse practitioner, that stepping away for 4-5 years would hurt her later on. We were very fortunate that she makes a good 6 figure salary(as do I) and the cost of daycare while significant, still penciled out. We felt that in todays day and age, neither one of us would feel comfortable solely relying on the whims of a single employer. While we are at a point where we could "make it" on a single salary, to be honest, we both like our jobs and the lifestyle we have with our kids. Since we both share duties at work and at home, we both seem to spend more time as a family then some of our peers with a parent at home. More often then not, the other working parent after a long week, does not want to go anywhere on the weekend or the stay at home parent does want some alone time. We have friends of both stay at home moms and dads so I can't say its a gender thing. In the end its whatever works for you, but I can say its easier to start with daycare and quit then quit a job and then try to go back to work. good luck and congratulations.
I'm not saying what you are saying is false, but since you brought it up, I've seen way too many situations where the same thing was said. I've personally only seen it to be true with single parents. Most are like Hooker's situation. There are just things they weren't willing to give up, so they hide behind that excuse. Not everyone needs new vehicles, new bows, new treestands, new camo, big house, etc. There can always be sacrifices made if you want to make them.
