But the kids haven't changed, just more things are available to them, and it is more out in the open now when a kid does screw up.
I agree with that. There's more opportunity in more areas for them. I also think they succomb to peer pressure more. I still contend the "things" kids are getting into today are on a completely different level.
But the problems back then were probably viewed just as urgently. Imagine the first time that porn was available in movie and magazine form, I'm sure the sky was falling for some because of that. I'm also sure that pregnancy was much more of an issue back then too because most people got married once they got knocked up. Point being the problems are somewhat different, but peoples reaction to them are virtually the same.
I never denied the influece it could have. You have more possibly bad influences, and parents giving less effort. Its a bad recipe.
most definitely. and I blame the men for not being men and instead being nothing more than old children themselves... I've been guilty of it myself but found my way with some help...
It all depends on what I feel may be going on. Right now, I have a 16yr old daughter, 13yr old son, and 8yr old daughter. I have "yet" had any reason to search their rooms. They (right now) know what is and is not allowed in my home, and the consequences for bringing anything in that does not belong there. That being said... I would tear their room apart and ask questions later if I felt the need to. I paid for it. It is "MY" room (property).
I can see the points made about not having a reason to look through the room. Personally I have zero concerns or reasons to search anything. My boys are very well behaved, involved in sports, hang around very good kids for friends, etc.... Nothing other than the usual trivial stuff has happened (knock on wood). I still think it's not that bad of a thing to check up on what you think isn't going on. Seen it far too many times the "perfect angel leading a model citizen life" go postal. Just want to make sure everything is as it appears on paper is all. JMO.
Have you really though? On the news, maybe? How many times has this really happened close to home, versus, a good kid actually turning out to be a good kid? I would bet its lopsided toward the good kid actually being a good kid. Its easy to remember the extremes, especially on the bad side.
My son is going on 23, not living with me, he lives with his mother. Another story altogether. Anyway, not once did I ever search my son's room. He gave me no reason to do so. However, if I had felt the slightest reason to do so, I'd do it in a moment. Not behind his back either. Right in front of him while telling him why.
Don't worry Vito. I delete the really incriminating stuff. I'm not a complete moron. Currently if someone looked at my texts, I'm not sure what they'd think... Latest stuff... there's a photo of a used condom... and some talk of steamin' semen (JM) and a butt out tool (Crick). But it's all very innocent! I swear!! Context is everything. Sorry... back to topic....
My daughter knows her text could be read at anytime. It is no secret that it might ne done and I only know of 2 times it was done. My daughter is an honor role student in advanced classes. Has a job and is on one of the best high school dance teams in the country. So far I have never been called by the school on her or the cops. Never caught her drinking or anything. She KNOWS what is expected of her and so far she is doing her part but I feel that is partly do to us as parents doing our part. My son is a little more willing to get in trouble but most of the time such as the fight he got in to last year was him taking care of a bully. Oh,he is also in all advanced classes and an A,Bstudent. State champ baseball player.(just got the book best players in babe ruth which he is in. So something we are doing must be working.
It is called being proscribe. I trust my kids only so far. They are kids and will make dumb choices as im sure all of us have done.
Thats exactly my point, tfox. Your kids have obviously been taught well, by both you and your wife, and they sound like great kids. So why snoop?
Not snooping but there are way more bad influences out there than good. I have never searched their rooms but if I need someting in them.I go get it. They know the consequences. We put the gps tracking on my daughters phone after she missed curfew for the second time. She was not up Toni good but she was late. We feel a little better now knowing we can find out. My wife works in surgery and has had kids the same age as ours and it is a reality check sometimes as to what can happen and quickly.
Let's throw this out there. If your wife was in the shower and you saw her cell phone sitting on the chair, would you grab it and look at her text messages or emails?
I'll agree it is lopsided the good way, but i'd rather not see mine in the smaller percentage of the bad way. And you've mentioned paranoia several times. Is that such a bad thing? Paranoid of your kids going down the wrong road? I still don't think that's quite what it is (maybe a little), but what's wrong with that? The alternative is to not be that attentive to what's going on in their life (every aspect). So.... yeah label me slightly paranoid.
I believe Bill Cosby said " I brought you into this world AND I can take you out" so you have the right when they are under YOUR roof! Period!!!
