Invasion of privacy or being a parent?

I find this quite humorous. Naivety at it's finest.

 

And, for the record....there'll be NO "sneaking". He knows damn good and well we can and will go in his room any time we want to.

Do we?

It's extremely rare I step foot in there.

Would I?

Hell yes.

This concept of children under my roof having "rights" is foreign to me.

 

Exactly.

 

I also paid for his truck. I pay for the Insurance. I pay for the fuel. I pay for everything associated with it.

Will I look in there from time to time?

A BIG 10-4.

My duty is being a parent. If my son and I are friends, also......BONUS.

 

Not saying that at all. If you want your child to learn trust and respect then you can preach it or practice it. I know which one had a positive impact on my 32 yr old son. I know which one is having a positive impact on my daughter.

The question was asked "invasion of privacy or being a parent" and I gave my opinion on it. I don't claim it works for everyone or even anyone but me and my children, but it is the way I see it.

It's not that I wouldn't search a childs room, I just wouldn't sneak around doing it.

No one reads emails or checks web use where I work unless there is a reason and then the person knows they are being checked. I know this because I am the one that would do the checking/reading if it were to happen.

 

How many children have you raised?

 

I hid everything i did from my parents until i was about 17. Then i figured out that communicating with them and not having secrets is the best way to be. Since then ive had a perfectly happy home life. My rents can search away...they know what theyll find...LOL. Doesnt really count now that im 20 though. When i was 13-16 i was too afraid to have anything "bad" in my room.

 

But that was the question!

Don't confuse "rights" with trust and respect.

 

Gotcha (I think). But, if your child knows you can and will look in their room any time you see fit.....how could it ever be construed as "sneaking"? How can you sneak around in your own house?

 

Holy dog piss...ive been missing out all these years? Whats this "pay for it" thing...ive never heard of it?

 

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But I also know how smart a teenager can be when it comes to hiding stuff from their parents, no matter how awesome their parents might be at parenting.

 

It's foreign to most kids. Don't feell like the lone ranger.

 

Id have to say i only agree with you about 50% on that.

Theres ALOT of mommy/daddys money running around my parts.

 

When you are searching someone's personal belongings (yes, my children have personal belongings, guess I'm naive) without telling them if that isn't "sneaking" then I am not sure what is.

If your son is 25 and living at home does he still have no right to some privacy? If so, what is the difference between 15 and 25? He can get into a whole lot more trouble and illegalities at 25 than he can at 15.

 

Yeah, the smart ones don't even hide it in their room because that's the first place parents snoop .

 

And yet, I am the naive one LOL :D

 

if I'm payin the bills, then I have the right... time after time it has been proven that kids don't fully develop their ability to make sound judgments and logical decisions until their mid 20's, i'd say there is a huge difference in ability to make good decisions between a 15 and 25 yr old...

at 25 he damn well better be helpin out with the rent and bills too if he's still at home... and there are still RULES, my house, my rules... if he doesn't abide, he needs to go at 25, at 15 he needs to learn them and obey.

 

My kid,my house MY RULES!!!!


I own that piece of property and I will give them as much privacy as I can but I still have the right as well as an expectation as a parent to know what my kids are up to.


Saying that,I have never gone through my kids things trying to catch them at something but If I need something in their room,I go get it or look for it.I hope they never give me a reason to search through their room looking for something.

We do keep tabs on text messages as well as have a GPS locater on my daughters phone.She doesn't like it but she is 16 with a license and a car.

 

Bruce...the naive comment was not mine. I'm just discussing this. How you raise your kids is none of my business. You have my total respect.

Now.....When he's 15....what he does affects ME. I'm responsible for him. I OWE IT to him to make sure he's not making decisions above his pay grade.

When he's 25, he's his own man. I'll still love him. But, he'll have plenty of rope.

Hope that makes sense.

 

I haven't raised any yet, but I am in the process of raising two. They are too young yet to be concealing anything in their room. But I'm still fairly close to the age where mama might have searched my room. I can't imagine questioning her right to do so. I know if she did, she never found anything I would have had to explain. It was clear while I was gowing up that mama was MAMA and I was the child.

By the way, when they checked their rooms after the massacre, didn't they find stuff in the room of at least one of the Columbine killers that would have suggested they were up to no good? Sawed off gun barrels or something?

I think if you find a bag of weed in the back of the underwear drawer, you may not be paying enough attention to their activities. If you find a bag of weed on top of the dresser or on the nightstand you KNOW you're not paying enough attention.

I know my mama loved me with all her heart, but she was not my big sister, or my best friend. She was my MOTHER.