I'm Bored - Tell Me A Funny Bowhunting Story

Discussion in 'Bowhunting Talk' started by Parker Smith, Jan 13, 2015.

  1. Parker Smith

    Parker Smith Newb

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    Yesterday, my story about Buck-Bombing my car got a lot of people laughing. Today, a friend told me a story about how he was dive-bombed in a treestand by a territorial owl for over 45 minutes which had me dying. Funny hunting stories are sometimes the best ones and, with this in mind, I'd like to hear yours. I'm super bored at work right now and figure this will be the best thread to help me pass the time.

    It should go without saying, but please keep the stories light-hearted and tasteful. Let's avoid those stories about gruesome field dressings and bad kill-shots. We've all got those stories and they're seldom really funny.

    ENTERTAIN ME.jpg
     
  2. tynimiller

    tynimiller Legendary Woodsman

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    One time a buddy of mine emptied his quiver on a deer...and it was captured on film....and posted to a forum.....and chaos ensued.
     
  3. tacklebox

    tacklebox Grizzled Veteran

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    hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
     
  4. Jimmany

    Jimmany Weekend Warrior

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    I had a friend tell me a story about a squirrel jumping from branch to branch about 30 yards up in the trees. Then on one attempt the squirrel missed the branch and fell all the way to the ground.
     
  5. Parker Smith

    Parker Smith Newb

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    Would this be the video??

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFBJe_EPjmE
     
  6. tacklebox

    tacklebox Grizzled Veteran

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    nope gimme a minute lol
     
  7. tacklebox

    tacklebox Grizzled Veteran

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    My pleasure to repost this



    Sorry Tony.. luv ya man lmao....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2017
  8. Justin

    Justin Administrator

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    Quite some time ago, let's call it 6 or 7 years, I was in Wisconsin helping Todd hang some stands at his dad's farm during the summer. We drove his truck pretty far back into the woods so we didn't have to work too hard. We're Illinois city boys after all.

    Before we headed out Todd decided it would be a great idea to drop a deuce. After all, nobody likes working when you've got one on deck. However instead of venturing off into the forest like a normal person he drops trow and pops a squat right next to the bed of the truck on the driver's side. As he does this I berate him for pooping next to the truck. Who does that? He can't walk 20 yards into the woods and take care of business? When he's done he kicks a bunch of leaves over it and we get to work.

    Fast forward an hour or so. I'm at the base of the tree handing stuff up to Todd. He gets the stand hung and realizes he forgot his hand saw in the truck and needs to cut a few branches. So I run back to the truck to get the saw out of the toolbox in the back. Upon returning to the tree I proceed to climb up and hand it to him.

    On my way back down I notice a bunch of mud on the steps of the climbing sticks. At first I pay no attention but then I start to think "Wait a minute, the ground is hard as a rock. When did either of us step in mud?" Around that time the stink hits me and the light bulb finally goes off. Yep. It's poop.

    On my quest to get the saw out of the truck I stepped in Todd's loaf then tracked it up the sticks, which eventually got all over both of my non-gloved hands on my way down. Todd simply laughed at me as I cleaned the poop off my hands with whatever leaves and water I could find in the general vicinity.

    The end.
     
  9. cantexian

    cantexian Grizzled Veteran

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    At the end of my last hunt, just before Christmas, I started to climb down from my stand. I was about four feet off the ground when something exploded out of the ground right next to where I had let my bow down. Unarmed and panicked, I screamed at the top of my lungs, reversed course back up the tree to about fifteen feet. I grew up in Canada and equate loud crashes in the woods with bears. I had forgotten my flash light in the Jeep and had to resort using my cell phone to find the source of my anxiety. At the edge of my light I could barely discern two eyes glowing back at me. Deciding it was too small to be a bear I climbed down and retrieved my bow. I looked around for the culprit and that is when the eyes charged me. I quickly ran about 10 yards away and turned around. I put my phone in my pocket in such away that it gave off some light and nocked an arrow. The eyes advanced more slowly this time and I drew back. Right I was about to release the arrow I finally realized I was being stalked by largest, ugliest armadillo I had ever seen. Letting down, I slowly backed away from the vicious creature. It followed. I backed away, it followed. This went on for about 75 yards before it left me alone.

    The crazy thing that was the fifth time that I had hunted out of that exact tree this year and I have hunted out of it for three seasons now. Never met the bloodthirsty savage until that night. I have not been back to that stand in almost five weeks. But, archery season does not end until the end of February so we may have another encounter. What does one use as a peace offering for an armadillo.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2015
  10. RugerRedbone

    RugerRedbone Die Hard Bowhunter

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    Don't know about a peace offering, as a kid we shot them on sight. My grandmother hated the things digging up the yard/flowers.
     
  11. tacklebox

    tacklebox Grizzled Veteran

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    an arrow
     
  12. frantic29

    frantic29 Die Hard Bowhunter

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    Man I would have been irate. There would have been hell to pay for that.
     
  13. davidingle

    davidingle Weekend Warrior

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    When I was 12 it was my first bowhunting season and I was in a double stand with my dad. My dad was responsible for grabbing my bow stuff from the house because he was picking me up straight from school and he forgot my release. So i strapped his on when this spike buck came in and I drew back on him at 10 yards but couldn't reach the trigger, so my dad reached over and hit it for me and I sailed it over his back. Anyway the deer ended up coming back around 4 more times and I missed 4 more shots at him, switching between my dad pulling the release for me and shooting with fingers.
     
  14. Bootlegger

    Bootlegger Grizzled Veteran

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    I'd dropped a load in a bag and put it under his truck seat. Hot weather....lol. He would find it a week later.....lol. :p



    Hoyt Faktor 30
    Bowstring Depot Field Staff
     
  15. Pitman

    Pitman Die Hard Bowhunter

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    Some years back I was hunting in a climbing stand and had a coon start up my tree. I started by telling it to go away quietly as not to spook any deer. It just kept coming and I just kept telling it to go away louder and louder. When it was 6-8 ft out I was rly getting worried as this coon knew I was there and it was most definitely looking to fight me for the tree. By this time I am yelling at the top of my lungs and trying to figure out what to do. As he got less than 5 ft I pick up my bow and start waving it in the coons face while screaming at it and trying my best to knock it off the tree for several seconds before he decided that the tree wasnt worth it. It is the only time I have ever really thought of jumping out of my stand. I dont know how the fight would have went had he made it in my stand but I am sure glad I didnt have to find out!
     
  16. MistaWondaBread

    MistaWondaBread Weekend Warrior

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    Last year I got back from a hunt where the weather was just terrible. All my clothes were soaked, so without a thought I thew them in the dryer. After putting my kids to bed, I went into the laundry room tired and red eyed, pulled all my clothes out, and threw them in my scent bag, still a little damp, but I was too tired to care. Little did I know I had left a bottle of doe pee in my pocket, and it had fallen out in the dryer. The next day my wife went and washed our liens, and then thew our comforter in. Sadly the bottle of doe piss magically opened and covered our comforter in doe piss. and our house smelled so bad I thought every buck for a mile was going to charge into it. My wife was rather upset, as I got a very vocal phone call from her at work.

    She did get a new comforter out of the incident, so she didn't stay mad very long. Needless to say, she now reminds me every time I go to wash my clothes to check my pockets.
     
  17. Jordan86

    Jordan86 Weekend Warrior

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    I have a Scentblocker carbon suit I hunt in. After 20 or so hours of use you're supposed to recharge it by throwing it in the dryer for 30 minutes. I came back from hunting one night and threw my clothes into the dryer. I turned them inside out first. I watched some BHOD for 30 minutes while my clothes were Doing they're thing. After they were done I turned them back right side out and threw them in a ziplock before going to bed. I ended up sleeping on the floor in my toddlers room. We had a week old baby and the older girls were not sleeping well with the adjustment. In the middle of the night I awoke to a severe almost painful itching on the inside of my right bicep. Rubbed it a bit and went back to sleep. The next morning I had little red bumps there, now slowly appearing all over my arms below my shirt sleeves. I thought we had fleas or carpet mites, (the dog sleeps in the girls room). My wife is freaking out saying we need to call an exterminator to clean all the carpets. Meanwhile I'm in pretty serious pain/ discomfort, the new baby is keeping everyone a little low on sleep, and I can't figure out what the hec is on my arms which are covered with welts and blisters. I mean I have red patches of swollen crusty flesh all over from mid bicep down. I'm wearing long sleeves when I hold the baby, taking enough Benadryl to sedate a water buffalo and literally going crazy. It gets worse and worse. After about 6 days I'm about to go the ER and it dawns on me. I must have walked through some poison sumac and got it on my pants, which then got on my arms and then sat there all night until I showered in the morning. Luckily a buddy had some prednisone laying around which took care of it in a few days. Horrible way to learn about poison sumac. I treat my hunting pants like nuclear waste until I wash them after hunting now.
     
  18. RugerRedbone

    RugerRedbone Die Hard Bowhunter

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    I've got a bone head hunting/dryer story. Years ago I was working on a site that was county owned property and loaded with deer. I asked the county inspectors if they cared if I hunted there after work and they said it shouldn't be a problem. Fast forward to bow season. One night after work I shot a small buck and began the process of dragging it back to my vehicle, which at the time was a Jeep Wrangler. I had a platform for the hitch to haul deer so that wasn't a problem. I didn't however want to pull out on the main road with a dead deer openly displayed so I started looking around the site for something to cover him up with. Laying near the torch cart was a brand new fire blanket. Perfect, covered him up and drove on home. That night after taking care of the deer I saw blood all over this brand new fire blanket and knowing that they aren't cheap I wanted to clean it and bring it back to work. Not thinking I threw the damn thing in the wash, then the dryer. Do you know what a fire blanket is made of? FIBERGLASS. Yup, fiberglass strands and particles completely covering the inside of our dryer. I found this out because the next load of laundry I did was my bibs and a brand new carhartt jacket. It took days of washing and then drying old rags and towels and wiping out the dryer to finally get all the itchy, scratchy fiberglass out of the dryer.
     
  19. bz5119

    bz5119 Weekend Warrior

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    I heard of a poor sap that set off a buck bomb in his truck ;)
     
  20. Shane0709

    Shane0709 Die Hard Bowhunter

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    I went on a trip to south carolina rifle hunting when I was like 8, and thought the doe estrous would work as scent killer. Lesson learned for me back then. My dad had to pay as well in out 2 man stand.
     

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