I hope you didn't take my statement the wrong way, but I think you did. All I meant was, I chose to get married and have kids with my wife and I would feel very empty if I now chose hunting over my family. Which, I did do for a long time. Had I chosen not to get married or have kids, I could have a full soul while hunting all the time. It's just that I made a commitment to my wife and kids, and in doing so, they have to be my number one priority. If I fail at that, I will live the rest of my life full of guilt and regret.
Tony I think you close to bat chit crazy here! Marriage is not work, and it surly shouldn't be, marriage is bliss! I wake up every day with the greatest woman on earth, our life is based on doing things that make each other happy, we both love our dog, we both love walking in the woods, we love each others friends and families. It drives our daughter crazy that we do most things together every day. There is no work in our happiness nor should there be. Of course my wife has it really easy , she's married to me, and who wouldn't love that.
You need to tell her hunting is just part of your life and if she doesnt like it, then she needs to find a way to deal with it.
Yeah, uh......no. If you really are 12 years old, like you say you are, this is a topic you need to take advice from the older, more wise men with experience in marriage have to offer. Your comment shows that you've been brainwashed by the "me" generation. There's time for you though, so sit back, listen and take to heart what the men in this thread are saying.
Congrats to you, Jim.... but learning to live for someone else is not easy for most people...the divorce rate proves that out .... My first year and a half of marriage was tough... until I got it thru my thick skull what loving my wife like Christ loves the church and GAVE Himself for it.... when I acted correct, she responded and I have had an amazing marriage since....
It took you a year and a half to learn "yes dear" , you must of smoked a lot of dope when you were younger.
Are you willing to seek help? I mean somewhere other than an online hunting forum? I can recommend a few guys if so. Just saying... bad starts don't have to end badly but you aren't likely to find a solid answer here. PTs comments are dead on though. It does take having the correct model.
Let me add that your wife needs to know that she is more important to you than hunting.... and everything else (other than God) ... My wife and I talked about a Colorado elk hunting trip I am thinking about going on this September... she is all for it.... in the beginning of our marriage she would not have been... There is so much more... you guys need to see a GOOD counselor ...one that will not advise you to divorce like some of these shmucks are doing...
Work is not work either if you do what you love. I know fishing guides who have come to despise their jobs... I know coal miners who would rather be doing that than any thing else. You married the right gal (or she married you... whichever delusion you choose). I promise you it is hard work when the starting line was smudgy to begin with.
I'm not recommending getting divorced, I never would have married the nut case to begin with! If she has it set in stone to be a miserable, shallow and deceitful person, I would take the kids and cheer her on from several zip codes away, one must remember, rewarding bad behavior only promotes more bad behavior.
Sometimes one just needs to take a step back mentally before attempting to move forward. AU, take a step backward and think. If you and your wife are doing the whole kid swap thing based on job hours, I can understand both of your frustrations. I've worked shift work for the past 8 years in a row and many times my wife and I pass each other like ships in the night. Earlier in our relationship it was very difficult for us both because we did not trust each other. I had a wild side to me and wanted to do things MY way, not the right way. Once I started understanding the big picture the stress kind of melted off. And the big picture for me is my family first, every time.
Well, I suppose I am the last person anyone should take relationship advice from. I will preface with that. That said, my parents have been married 35 years, my grandparents 60, my sister 12 etc etc. When I asked my sister why she loved my Brother in law (whom i love very much) She told me "You know, I couldn't give you just one reason, but I can say he is the only person I have ever met, that I learn something about every day." I think there is alot to be said for that. And I think that sometimes you have to work to learn something about someone. We as human beings tend to get ia bit lackadaisical in our pursuits when we start to get frustrated. Be it hunting, or life. We have a strong lean towards throwing our hands up and walking away. Because its easy. But Honestly, I dont think there are many things in life worth doing that are easy, and if everyone gave up on marriage through the hardest of times, There wouldn'd be any married couples. And yes, people get married for messed up reasons, but I dont think your Children fall into that category. I think you will find if you look hard enough, at anything in life around you, you can find some good and beauty and love in it. You are young. there are plenty of bow seasons ahead of you. every minute those kids miss seeing a smile on your face, or the face of thier mother, is a minute you wont get back. Value your time. Cherish your family. I would kill to have something to fight for like you do. When all else fails. Smile. And love. Unconditionally. It helps. good luck my friend.
I agree, I know it kinda sounds harsh....lol. One thing My wife knew when she met me 19 years ago. I hunted! Hunting season is only 3 months outta the year here in TN. 9 Months i'm game for whatever...but those 3 months...well you know!
And if your wife were to allow that she is a poor excuse for a wife. The idea of marriage is to make one another happy not miserable, its not hard to make sure the dishes are done before you grab your bow and head to the woods. If you home is the best looking one on the block your wife will be proud, and the worse meal you ever tasted should be your favorite if your wife made it just for you. Remember they are not battles, they are negotiations, because you will never win a battle with a woman.
