I recently lost my father july 30th to a motorcycle accident. he was without a doubt my best friend and my favorite hunting partner. The person I called as soon a arrow was released or a shot was fired. this man started me hunting at the age of 10, im currently 31. I got him into archery (crossbow, he couldn't pull a compound back). the last 4 years. He was Hooked. Never seen the man shake from buck fever so bad in my life when it came to archery. Id spend half my summer running cams an setting up spots just for him, he would only hunt from the ground. I have lost all my get up an go to do anything hunting related. I could care less about cams, shooting my bow is now a chore instead of something I enjoyed. for the guys that have experienced the same thing cause I know im not the first, how did you over come this. Just taking time for wounds to heal? or did you force yourself to go out and do things hunting related to make yourself remember why you did it in the first place. Or maybe something that you found worked for you? maybe there is no correct answer to the question and I just have to figure it out on my own. I just don't know.
First let me say I'm sorry for your loss. As a son, father, hunter and avid motorcyclist I can empathize. What you are describing sounds absolutely terrible. It sound cliche but Mourning takes TIME and that's okay! Grief and processing grief is different for everyone. Don't rush anything. You aren't Superman, you need family and friends close. If you need to sit out this season, do it. But one thing that helps a lot of people who have gone through what you have is to ask yourself "what would dad want me to do?" Would he want me to sit at home with family and friends, remembering the good times and sharing stories? Laughing, crying, and coming together as a family. Would he want me to sit quietly in a tree, waiting for that buck of a lifetime. Reflecting, remembering, praying. There is no right or wrong answer. Just realize you are not super human and this is a LIFE CHANGING event. Good Luck and God Bless you and you family.
I haven't experienced this so I don't have advice to getting back to square one, but I'm very sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for your loss. I think the advice to ask yourself "what would dad tell me right now" is great advice. Keep your head up brother.
Although I know it won't mean much I'd offer my condolences as well. I went through a similar loss and aftermath. My recommendation. Head into the bush before sunrise, perhaps sit in one of your tree stands, without a bow. Watch the world come to life around you and reflect on the good times and lessons learned. Repeat as often as necessary. If you have kids you might want to bring them along. Its your turn to pass on the tradition. God bless.
I can relate. I lost my father when I was 32. The pain will never go away but it will get a little easier with each passing day. The first year was really hard on me. I feel like it completely changed me. In some ways for the better and other ways for the worse. My children have been my saving grace. I try to be as good as father as my dad was. It's a goal I will most likely never achieve and that keeps me motivated to keep going. Without them I would be completely lost. So with that said each person will have to find their own path. The only solid advice I can give you is to stay busy. Sorry for your loss! Hang in there. It will get better Heck
Sorry for your loss. I haven't experienced the loss of my father yet. I am not looking forward to when that time comes. Blessing to you.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my mother when I was about 21 years old with my first child on the way. That child turned 25 recently, so it has been a while. The pain really never goes completely away. Something will remind me of my mother at least 2 or 3 times a week. Just know that your father would want you to carry on, and enjoy your life the best way you can. Prayers are out to you, and know with time, it gets easier to carry on, but never really forgetting. When you put that next bruiser buck down, give a shout out to your father, and a quick thanks to God! Good luck!
Lost my dad when I was 21. That was in 1981. He passed in his sleep. So like your father it was sudden and without warning. Every time I hit the woods I take something of his with me. Once I get settled into the tree I give a look to the sky and say here we go dad as I feel him there with me. I can't say time will help as I have his favorite hat hanging out in the garage. I took it off the hook to dust it off the other day and broke down. We're talking 36 years later. But saddle up and get back out there as I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. It's what I would want of my son. My condolences to you and your family but take him with you and he's never truly gone. Brothers of the bow.
My dad has "hunted" for the past 20 years but has never had the intention of shooting a deer. He was always out hunting because I was. He wasn't doing it for himself, but for his son. As my son gets older and my dad says that he wants to "hunt" he and I both know that it is to experience that thrill and that time of watching someone that you hold dear harvesting an animal to provide for the family. I do not know what it means to you, coming from a stranger on a forum, but keep your head up and pass everything that your dad taught you on to others. Sent from my iPhone using Bowhunting.com Forums
Very sorry for your loss. I lost my father to a sudden illness when I was 35. It's been 15 years and I will always miss him, but now I have happy memories instead of tears. (Until I typed this) lol. He passed on June 7th. On June 15th (his birthday) I could not sleep and got up before daylight and just had to get outside. I went to one of my farms and sat in the dark under a huge oak tree. I listened to the woods wake up and was shocked to hear a gobbler sound off. It was terribly late in the year to think that they would still be gobbling. As it got lighter, he pitched from the roost and strutted and gobbled right in front of me for quite a while. I was wearing blue jeans and a white shirt. It shouldn't have happened. After the turkey walked away, I thanked my Dad and went home to get ready for work. Losing your father will certainly test you. But, you will figure out on your own what feels right and you will struggle with what to do with yourself from time to time. Its natural. Stay busy and continue to do the things that would make him proud of you. But, don't force yourself to do anything that doesn't seem right for you. In time, at your own pace, you will settle into a new normal. Don't rush it and take care.
Very very sorry for your lose. I lost a brother to a brain tumor in 98 that we had that kind of relationship. We were Best of friends. All I could be is that God I had the days I had with him and I lived Day to day just as my brother would want me to. Smile for him in his memory and feel his presence on your hunts and during you days and just know how blessed you were to have the great relation on this earth you did. God bless. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
This is a tough subject. You are privileged to have had such a close relationship with your father. That makes it even harder to go through however. I am indeed sorry you have to go through this. It may just take time. But think of it this way. Your father must have loved you very much and if that was the case he would want you to live your life and be happy. I know its hard but remember all the positive experiences that you had while hunting. This is especially true if you have kids of your own. If nothing else do in in his memory. Think about him and all the great times you had together and not the fact that he is missing. Its ok to take time off to grieve and work it out. In the end you want to celebrate his memory. Can you think of any better way to do that?
No words can express how you feel and no words can make you not miss your dad. I can tell you that in time all of the thoughts and memories that are painful now will feel warm and loving because is seems you and your dad loved each other. I can't tell you how much time but time will soften the hurt. Do what you think your dad would want you to do. Deepest sympathies to you and your family. Sent from my iPhone using Bowhunting.com Forums
Very sorry for your loss. I was much the same way when I came home from a long rough deployment. All I could think about was coming home, hanging out in the woods, hunting and fishing and living easy. It was my safe space in my mind, I couldn't wait. Then I cam home and just never opened my safe or bow case. Didn't apply for tags, or get a fishing license. I just had no desire. After a few years some close friends at my church pulled me out on a pig hunt and it started all over again. Now its back to normal ( is spending way to much money hunting all over, buying bow's and guns, and chasing game cameras normal? ) Again, Im sorry for your loss but sometimes when traumatic things happen in ones life the brain shifts its desires and passions to other things, or just turns them off completely. Its not permanent, but it is what it is. Blessings..
I am so sorry for your loss, words are tough to come by when discussing the emotional upheaval one feels about something like this. As others have said, there is really no normal as people process things differently. Having lost a dad and my little boy I can tell you that things will get better than they are today. For my family I had to decide to move forward and get on with the business of living. As time went on the deep pain went away and was replaced with memories of happier times and life lessons that I had been taught and yes a deeper respect for the man I called Dad. I hope that you find peace and comfort and pray God's blessings on you and your family.
Dave, I feel badly for you. I can relate with everything you said in this post/thread. I just lost my Pop this past Jan 24th, and I know EXACTLY how you're feeling and what is going through your mind. My Pop was 85 . They say "time heals all wounds", but this couldn't be farther from the truth! I'm older than you, I'll be 60 this Sunday, but the feelings are exactly the same. I lived with my Pop and took care of him until the very last breath that he took. I held his hand as he left this world. I find great peace with myself knowing I was there for him. It still hurts each and every day, and I will live with the loss of my best friend forever. It doesn't go away. Like you, I shared everything with my Dad. I'd look forward to coming home from a hunting or fishing trip and giving him a full report. This often included pics, which he loved looking at! He'd look at some of the wild trout pics I'd taken and say " they are so beautiful, I see why you always let them go". That made me happy!! Now, when I'm on one of my wild trout streams in the middle of nowhere, I don't even fish them as far up as I used to, because I know my Dad isn't going to be at home to share my experience. It's very had to deal with at times, but I tell myself "Dad wouldn't want you to give up the two things you love to do most in life", so I keep at it. I don't know how my hunting's going to be affected, as I haven't hunted yet since he passed. I wish you the best, and just try to be strong for your Dad, he would want that.
Sorry for your loss. Def takes time, don't feel like you have to rush back into anything, you will know when you are ready. Prayers for you and your family,
