Speaking of brothers-in-law - what would you have done in this situation? First, some background. My wife's brother is a hard working all around good guy. He works construction and he's always on the road. He makes it home about twice a month, which is something I personally couldn't do. He says he's "computer illiterate" so he spends NO time on a computer. He's been married for 20-something years and has three kids, the youngest of which is 15. Yesterday, our daughter, who is anything but computer illiterate (in other words, a Facebook junkie) calls us at lunch to ask if her uncle is okay. My wife and I were both stumped by this question, so we asked what she was talking about. Evidently my brother-in-law's wife changed her status on Facebook yesterday from "married" to "single" and there were varied comments about "getting child support", "just because we can't be together doesn't mean he can't be the kids father" along with other colorful posts about picking up guys and detailing her adventures at bars. So.... my wife called her brother and left a voicemail. He called us late last night and after a while my wife covers the phone and tells me that her brother has no idea this is happening. I told my wife to tell him, but she couldn't do it. Maybe I had no right to get involved, but I got involved. His wife is a Facebook "friend" of my daughter, so my daughter gave me her facebook log-in and I went to the "married to single" comments where her friends were telling her what she should do and telling her good luck and I posted the following comment while my wife was still on the phone with him: My wife eventually hung up and I had a chance to talk to her. She said she didn't tell him because she want to hurt her brother, but I told her that if this goes on for a while and your brother finds out that we knew about it and didn't say anything he'll more than likely be furious at us too. I asked her how she would feel if I were cheating and her brother knew about it and didn't tell her? That drove the point home, so to speak, so my wife called her brother again and we told him. He was hurt, of course, but I don't think it was a total surprise. Like I said, maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved, but he's family and more than that, he's my friend. There's no way I can sit back and do nothing in a situation like this. I still don't know what his wife's answer to me was and I don't really care. My point in that Facebook post was simple. I was telling her "He doesn't know yet, but he's about to know - one way or another."
Man, that sucks. Hopefully your FB message will work and she'll tell him before you guy's have to. If she don't, Man, I still think you have to tell him. He'll always be in your lives, possibly unlike his wife. Good luck.
If she was posting it on face book she didn't have nads to tell him in person and she knew some one else would do it for her. I would also guess he works out of town for more than one reason. The kids are always the ones who lose in these situations.
I don't even know what to say. It just gives me that sick to the pit of my stomach feeling. I think you and the Mrs handled it as well as you could, especially since it was such a sucker punch. Really sorry man, I hate to hear about drama like that, especially if kids are involved.
He needed to know, she is a scumbag for airing it out in the public eye the way she did. My step father has two rotten kids that were put through great colleges. One decided broadcasting was to hard to get into and is now a bartender with a $120k education that he paid for. They treat him like crap and rarely talk to him, something about him not being around while they were growing up while he worked 14 hours a day to provide. I'm friends with his daughter or my step sister or whatever and noticed she was engaged on facebook. Sadly I called my mother and he had no idea she was even serious with her boyfriend. Sadly my mother had to reach out to her on facebook and laid into her ***. She played nice with dad to get her $30k wedding costs covered and now refuses to talk to him. Sadly I see her rants everyone and a while about how hard her life has been, I just want to puke.
It doesn't matter. They're from Tenn. If they get divorced they'll still be brother and sister. Really, no one has the nerve to ask a family member but are willing to post it all over the internet. Get real.
While I appreciate the humor in your first section, you missed the mark by about, oh, say 2000 miles. They're both from California but now they live in Arizona. My wife is from California and I'm not from Tennessee either. I just haven't re-located after finishing my last tour and retiring. As to the second part, were you directing that at me or my sister-in-law? if that's directed at me then you missed the mark again. I didn't ask anyone what I should do. I did what needed to be done. I just wondered if others would do the same thing. There is no other family to ask on my wife's side. She and her brother are it. Are you drunk posting again, David?
you did the right thing in telling him. since she didn't have the guts or respect to tell him herself. i would have done the exact same thing myself.
If he is away from home, I don't think I'd tell him when he is in a place with no support. I would capture the posts on her FB page and save it for him.
I'm sorry... but I'm reading too much and missing too much. She did tell him. I missed that first time around.
This^^^ it will come in handy if your state is a fault based state. Most are no fault divorce now, but still it will hold some sway with the judge by showing the judge exactly who she is and that can go a long way too.
Yeah I would have done the same and if I was him I'd b glad u did. That's rough man hope ur brother inlaw is ok.
