awesome post here....I quoted this part here, cause I was just talking with my Wife today (after I post my thread about success of others)...and this part here is what I'm struggling with right now. I have a lot of friends who hunt, and family as well and not tooting my horn but I always invite them to go hunting, but thus far this season I've not been invited at all (once by my Cousin but he backed out the night before) and 2 of my friends have private land they hunt on......to be honest even as a 42yr old Man this hurts, I'm not the type of guy who will beg, plead whatever to go with them but it would be nice to be asked..it has even gotten to the point where I'm doing some sole searching and really asking is there something wrong with me? oh well we'll see but again great post and love the responses thus far.
I think alot of it is the "take care of #1" attitude. A lot of people aren't going to reach out and help somebody or offer anything but they sure as hell will take take take. This can be said for more then just hunting trips and goodwill towards other hunters. I try to help out family if they need a place to hunt but I don't go around offering it to anybody and everybody only family or people that I know would really appriciate it or at least return the offer. I have a cousin who has taken his young son turkey hunting for the past two years and they haven't even seen a bird. So I invited them down for the youth turkey season next spring and to help his dad get the lay of the land he will be deer hunting with me this year. In return I know I will be able to count on him if I need a place to go fishing, pheasant or dove hunting because he has lots of good places where as I don't.
"Knowing you" as long as I have on the forums and personally being on the receiving end of some of your barbs I would say you are most likely not innocent in the way you are treated. You have simply had too much animosity sent your way for it to be totally one sided. Starting this thread is probably a perfect example........many guys would read this and think you already know the answer but you just want to read a couple pages of people stroking your ego and telling you what a great hunter you are and everyone is jealous of you. (I'm NOT saying that, just pointing out the obvious if by chance you really don't see it). I think we all know what you are feeling though to some degree.......most guys are just tools. I have been treated the same way by friends and strangers around here for killing good bucks for NY that are probably smaller then anything on your wall. I have a guy who lives in walking distance from my home who acts like my best friend when I see him and then goes behind my back to local farmers to ask them if he can post their land and keep me off. He's so stupid he thinks they don't tell me. Having said all that.............and being someone you personally rubbed the wrong way MANY years ago I have to say that without speaking for anyone else MY initial perceptions of you were way off base. Most people here probably don't know this but my brother and I jumped in a truck and went out of state blind as a bat trying to arrow something on public land. Scott spent more time helping me then I deserved and was a huge factor in making our trip as much fun as it was. I don't take those things lightly and will be forever grateful to him for what he did for us. Plus........this dude is a HUNTER. I have shared some boot prints with him even if they were not side by side I can assure you he rarely takes the easy way out. Whatever reason they have for being jerks is on them IMO. Again, a sincere thank you from my brother and me. You EVER need something from me just say the word. Here's a question for you Buckeye...........would you want it any other way?? Seriously, does it bother you that a bunch of tools gripe about you behind your back or do you just smile because it reinforces that you are doing something right. Being bashed by TRUE friends or family would sting but others should be easy to brush off but you have mentioned it many times now so it must really bother you.
I've thought of posting a thread like this many times. I think most of my friends are happy for me on the rare occasion that I shoot a good buck. One thing really pissed me off 2 years ago though. I have let a friend and his son hunt my ground for the past few years. I even set his son up in a great stand 3 years ago for the opening morning of shotgun season. By 7 am, I was out of my stand field dressing a doe that his son shot. I was really happy for the kid. Fast forward a year to 2012. I had been seeing a huge buck on my ground. I told my friend and his son about the buck, shared pics with them, etc. I finally got the buck range one evening that November and whiffed on a chip shot. I was sick about it! I texted the dad and told him what happened. The reply I got was " Good. Now ____ might get to kill something better than a little doe." It took everything I had not to tell him that he could find somewhere else to hunt with his son. I didn't want to take my anger out on the kid and leave him w/o a place to hunt right before season. I kept my mouth shut about it, but I didn't forget. I no longer share pics or advice on where they should set up. I also rarely hear from the dad anymore, unless it's hunting season. Some people care only about themselves. What a miserable way to go through life.
THAT'S the stuff that bugs me......when you help people and they still dump on you. I killed a buck on a local farm years ago and my true friend was happy as could be and after we dragged it out he called another guy we let hunt with us MANY times to tell him and this idiot didn't realize he was talking so loud and I could also hear him. He went on about how I always take the "good" spots and anyone could kill a deer from "my" stands. It was like a punch in the gut. I haven't hunted with him since and rarely speak to him anymore.
"Knowing you" as long as I have on the forums and personally being on the receiving end of some of your barbs I would say you are most likely not innocent in the way you are treated. You have simply had too much animosity sent your way for it to be totally one sided. I remember those days well. I was also a 23 year old know it all then as well Honestly, I don't talk crap or mess with any of them. I have grew up a lot since back then. You remember how that all went down a few dudes on the forum were calling me a lair about a buck I shot. One dude even accused me of photo shopping my face onto the picture I posted and following me around thread to thread saying I lied about it's score (which I could not care less about score any more other than noting it). You got caught in my anger of the situation and got caught up in my crossfire by my mistake. Starting this thread is probably a perfect example........many guys would read this and think you already know the answer but you just want to read a couple pages of people stroking your ego and telling you what a great hunter you are and everyone is jealous of you. (I'm NOT saying that, just pointing out the obvious if by chance you really don't see it). I hope you know I am not looking for those sorts of replies, but genuine replies from those who have been or are in these types of scenarios... On either side of the situation. The other side would be especially great. I am just frustrated that I go out of my way to help "friends" and that's how they act. I can post a story on here and no one is obligated to reply to the thread but many do. Why is it different here than at home with those I have known for years? Here's a question for you Buckeye...........would you want it any other way?? Seriously, does it bother you that a bunch of tools gripe about you behind your back or do you just smile because it reinforces that you are doing something right. Being bashed by TRUE friends or family would sting but others should be easy to brush off but you have mentioned it many times now so it must really bother you. Yes, I would want it differently. I think it is stupid to let deer hunting adversely affect friendships. They are not just my "friends" but my buddy Franks friends too. We all hunt down at camp together every year (down where you and your brother hunted) and sometimes it's hard to not let these guys piss me off a little bit. I do not want to be pissed off. Hunting now is more than hunting.. It's a little break from the wife and kids as well. When I get a break from home last thing I want is to be irritated about the hunting I am getting away to do. Just a few minutes ago my buddy Frank just called me laughing so hard telling me that one of the two guys he texted that fake pic to, just text him saying he was going to text me and ask me to go down to camp with him next Friday to help him with some stuff. The same dude who text Frank telling him "to keep me out of his uncles". I am not making this up, that just happened.
I see it all the time with one of my husband's friends.. Well it's finally bit him. He's lost 8/10 places to hunt. The 2 he has left he's hunting out of our stands. Karma will get them.
I like hunting. I generally don't like the other hunters I've met. That excludes the core group of guys I hunt with. And this is not directed at anyone on this forum as this is anonymous and I haven't met any of you.
I blame it largely on social media outlets and television. People are so driven by inches instead of memories anymore that it's appalling. How often does a smaller buck/bull get "shared", televised, or written about? I think it's largely a pride thing. I don't like hearing about the hot chick my buddy nailed but we all still talk about it.
I don't understand this either. I have 100 acres that I have offered MANY times to have people come hunt. Last year during gun season the backwaters of the river that goes by my land was frozen solid. My brother and I couldn't access the land at all. Well I talked to a friend of mine and asked him if I could come do deer drives for the group he hunts with on public land. He was ok with it, but the rest of the guys were sour about it. I've offered all of those guys my boat and my stands to take them hunting before, and last year, when I was SOL, they weren't there for me. I no longer consider them friends and neither does the buddy that was ok with it. People get too caught up in the secret honey hole part of it that they don't think about the fun of hunting with friends/family.
I see it a lot around here. I took a mid-140's nine point last year on my home farm. I'd been watching him all summer. I had trailcam pics and video footage of him from June through November when I killed him. Another local hunter had pics of him on his farm about a mile or two from my farm. When he found out I killed him, I heard he was literally MAD at me for taking his deer....never mind that I took him on my farm over a mile away from his. That's what I don't understand...why would you be mad, or resent, someone for taking a deer on their own farm? Now on the flip side, I can see why some people get upset about one of "their" bucks being killed. You have a small tract of land that you manage. You spend thousands of dollars and dozens of hours per year working on your land, running trail cameras, hanging treestands, planting foodplots, running mineral and so on. No one ever helps or even offers. Then come October/November, now your friends and family are calling or showing up to hunt. They go in there and kill the buck you've been after all year...the buck that you do all the work for. Or, your neighbor, who only shows up during gun season with a handful of other hunters and crowd your property line because of the work you've done with food plots and habitat. That can be frustrating. So, for me, I'm genuinely happy for someone if they kill a deer they're excited about regardless of how big it was or if it was "my" deer. But, in the second example, both of those have happened to me before and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me.
My favorite saying is "people suck". You have to go through like 20 people who suck before you find one truly good person. To answer the question presented in the first post, it is jealousy and insecurity, fishermen tend to be exactly the same.
DD/MO, I can relate to this. I don't own what some would call a huge amount of land. It's a 181 acres where I live. The farms around are like 3-4 times the size and bigger. I spend a LOT of money year round like you said. I do have two friends that help me work and do pay for minerals, and food plots when I plant them. I let the farmer up the road plant corn almost every year though. Anyway, I got tired of dumping all my money and time and then certain people only ever call or show up at deer season. I finally made some people and a few family members mad about 5 years ago. Oh well, Haven't had to deal with them since...lol. Kinda nice.
The good ol days We all used to sling it pretty hard back then. You were right to be pissed as was I when similar claims were lobbed at me. Being called a liar is not fun. Of course I don't. I even clarified in my post. No one here thinks you are the jerk so it's not hard to predict the replies you're going to get. They don't sound like very good friends to me dude. If you guys are that close just ask them why they talk you down. They are your friends man........talk to them. Maybe they don't know they are hurting your feelings. Air it out and you will either set it straight or maybe lose a friend. At least they will know how you feel. Maybe he meant it as a compliment?? Like.......don't invite a card shark to your poker game if you ever want to win. He might have been telling Frank that opening his land to a good hunter is a sure way to lessen his chances at a monster. Just a thought.
I have written several threads like this as well over the years. It all stems from jealousy. For whatever reason, some people seem to try and make up for their lack of success by putting successful people down with outright lies. Unfortunately, it will never change, that's just the nature of this game. Bottom line: Don't lose any sleep over it. You know that you earned those bucks and did it the right way.
I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are not selfish/jealous/haters. In fact I get invited to travel and hunt in some great places, I usually can't afford to go but the offers are made. If you have problems with "friends" being the way yours are I would think it's time to downsize your number of "friends."
I just went through the same thing last weekend when I stuck my buck. It is one of the biggest bucks ever taken around our area and very few were happy for me and a few hunting buddies didnt even want to see it. Ive been watching the buck for a few years and ive showed pictures of it to all my hunting buds but when I finally stuck him they just kinda seemed bitter about it. Ive worked harder then almost anyone I know around here at bow hunting and i am rewarded for it. So when they put in less effort and dont see any results they get disgusted I think. Oh well, i guess haters going to hate
I have had people get pissed at me for not giving permission. Last year I let a friend of my sons hunt at my place, had a "friend" give me hell because I never gave him permission but let a kid hunt instead.
I hunt alone these days. I too, have had friends that basically used me to get them a deer. At one time I had several GOOD places to hunt, I would fill my tags early in the season and be ask by "friends" to take them so they could get a deer. I would do just that. I introduced 4 hunters to archery and helped them bag their first archery deer. Others it wouldn't be their first deer but maybe their first buck. Many times I would find out later, that they would take friends and family to the place I took them to get a deer. Here I am today, lost many of my spots due to various reasons. Not one of those friends has ever offered to take me to one of their spots.
