1. Tell her to get her "goin to town" duds on. 2. Take to the Salvation Army and pick out some ridiculous gift and buy it for her. Tell her that her night has just begun. 3. Then take her to the dollar store and buy her a dollar valentine balloon with helium in it. Tell there are no bounds to yer love for her and now you are gonna take her to a live show. 4. Let her sit there admiring the balloon you got her while you get your hair cut. Let her know this was not only entertainment, but making you look purty for her. 5. Then take her to a restaurant and tell her to wash her hands because she touched that nasty thing you bought her at the Salvation Army while you get a table. 6. As soon as she is out of sight, run back to the car and get the dozen roses you bought her and place them on the table and then run back to the hostess station and wait for her to show up. 7. While you are waiting for your woman, have the hostess get a carafe of your wife's favorite wine sent to the table. 8. When your woman gets there, escort her to the table where the roses and wine are waiting on her. She will be caught so off guard that she'll be overwhelmed and she'll tell you that you done did good. If you are lucky like me, yer woman will have drank just enough wine to pass out when she gets home and you get to enjoy the rest of the evening quietly.
Misdirection works wonders. She was very happy yet still confused by step 5 when she saw we were dining at her favorite restaurant. When she got to the table and saw wine and roses, she was ecstatic! This morning she told me that I had really gotten her good. She went from irritated to irked to happy to completely tickled in a matter of one hour. I used to get her jewelry until she had a jewelry box full of jewelry she does not wear. Then, I got her Precious Moments because she liked them and now in the basement there are 10 boxes full of Precious Moments. After that it was dinner, roses and chocolate and she started saying I was trying to make her fat. Now I use misdirection. She does not know what is coming, when it is coming, or where it is coming from.
