How do you handle grandparents that do not share the same beliefs as you?

Scrooge, well guess what when little hooker goes over grandma's my guess is she's going to make up for it.

We told both our kids from the start their is no Santa Clause and taught them what Christmas was about to us. In today's world the last thing of worries on my list is how many Christmas gifts they got.

 

see this is a problem as well

My wife's family is not rich by any means, yet her Mom will put themselves in thousands of dollars of debt every year to buy everyone a bunch of useless gifts that no one, and I mean no one, wants. I had probably 20 gifts last year. Every one of them went straight to the garage sale box in the attic. Just useless crap. She does it because she gets a high on it. It doesn't matter what she buys the person, as long as she is buying. She admits that she just does it because she likes seeing a bunch of presents under the tree.

This really, really bothers me.

 

that is why I said let's start with something simple

I'm don't even want to think about how I'm going to handle religion...

 

No matter the gift you have a problem with it, or the mindless useless gifts?

That would bother me too. Its pointless and that is something I would address.

 

It is the mindless, useless gifts, and the number of them.

 

You'll have bigger fish to fry. Smile and say thank you. Then put them back in the boxes and donate them
to toys for tots next year.Its a win win and sooner than you think it will be back to just you and your wife alone at christmas to do as you like.

 

I never got much for Christmas...so im pretty jealous of your child...

 

So, is the bigger issues the gifts or that she does it and can't really afford it? The latter of the two is a major problem with a lot of people, I believe.

 

Maybe that is it.

Since I never received any Christmas gifts as a child, I'm already jealous of the amount of joy my child might experience opening a crap load of presents, therefore, I'm trying to put an end to this, not because of some principle, but solely because I'm jealous..?

 

Well, for me, the bigger issue is the gifts.

The fact that she cannot afford bothers me, but that is her problem.

 

Hooker you're going to be a great dad.

 

are you being sarcastic?

 

If it bring her that much joy be happy. Some kids are born without grandparents.
Just wait till some crazy lady at the malls "Just loves babies" and wants to touch your kid.
Thats the stuff you want to have issues with.

 

Not at all

 

I had 1 living grandparent when I was born, she died a month later. So if my mom or mil/fil want to buy my kids stuff....have at it. Spoil the **** out of them.

 

On second thought you should tell her that you are not a big fan of Christmas. That you don't want her buying a bunch of stuff for the kid and that you don't want any more "garage sale" junk either. Then you should lecture her about her spending habits and financial responsibility. Honesty is the best policy, keep us posted on the outcome

 

That's the best ever!
Merry Christmas to all!

 

Hooker my kids call my father(biological) the king of Christmas.

He buys them more gifts than I ever got, and I really don't care. He's the same man who cleaned out my college fund to go to the horse races, the same man that when I got married he demanded he pay the bar bill, his check is still bouncing. Something happen when he got grand kids, he change his ways. He now saves his money to buy gifts for my kids, and he gets a kick out of it. Now could I be a giant arse and tell him no, sure I could. He's at the end of his ride, it brings him some joy, my kids love it, and he finally gets to be a hero, which he failed at with his own kids.

You will be a great dad, because you care.

 

We do the same. All gifts are run by us first. Never had to ask our parents to do so, they just did it out of respect for us. We make an effort to limit their time in front of a tv, computer, and mindless electronics. No point in having someone buy something for them that they will hardly use, or use at all. That certainly won't bring christmas joy.

I have no problem with our parents "spoiling" our kids. They just chose to do it in different ways than showering them with gifts. They take them to dinner. They take them fishing. They take them hunting. They take them horse back riding. They take them to a fair. They take them to the zoo. I valued those things much more as a kid, and I think my kids do as well.

At least I tell them they do.

 

See I don't have a problem with this, and this is how my parents essentially are. I guess since my wife's parents can't really do most of these things, due to time and money, they instead compensate with gifts. Maybe I should rethink my harsh stance. I've got a year to figure this out.