Thanks for letting me know of the new address. Thought I'd pop in & let ya'll know I'm still alive & well. I'm busy being a new nurse & loving it. Hope all of you are doing well. Here's a funny story a friend sent me that will put a smile on your face today... I went grocery shopping this weekend at Wal-Mart, which in hindsight may not have been very wise. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented "You're definitely going to $h!t yourself" chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your a$$ cheeks WILL fall off. Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No "Watson's Movement 2." Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony, referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning. Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the Wal-Mart grocery store for some tasty breakfast and lunch tidbits. Upon entering the store, at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that "Uh oh, gotta go" pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh, so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it. I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the invisible but odorous cloud that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake..... Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things "clamped down," if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging.... One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of "Shock and Awe." He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, "Sonofabitch!" then quickly left. Once finished, I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on w
Just keep the lane plowed, I'll be up on my snowmobile asap. (Keep the lane plowed to your bro's too. Might as well take a spin through the woods whilst I'm up there:d )
tyty, Looks like a good place to call home. I'll be hanging curtains & spritzing up the place a bit. A place can always use a ladies touch.
