You're doing the right thing...there are too many deadbeat dads in this world that never wanted their kids. I always tell couples - You both better be on board with the idea...the REAL work begins with kids, marriage is too easy before that. I remember being 10-12 yrs old and daydreaming of being a dad - always knew it would happen. Nothing has made me work harder in life than being a dad (which also requires being an even better husband - birthing children is no easy task - I couldn't do it). I grew up eating dinner each night at the kitchen table with my family - do the same now with my family of 6 - favorite part of each day...along with checking on each kid sleeping before I crash each night...it really is the little things that make it great. As I see my core friends less and less...my kids are becoming my best friends also...Man, I love being a Dad! I dread the day my kids leave home! And if life wasn't crazy enough...we just got a yellow lab puppy this past weekend It has brought even more joy to our family... Good Luck - if you become truly on the fence about this - your wife will be the ultimate decision...women have a way.
This thread couldn't be more relatable if I wrote it myself! I'm 28, a carpenter (constantly working on my house), hunt all the time, and kind of sorta want kids. Kids are a lot of fun, I have a great time visiting my friends with kids because the kids love me and I know how to get them going and just have fun. The only reason I don't have kids right now is because I've been afraid that I'd regret it later. Not that I wouldn't love my kids but I'd want the world for them and I don't make a ton of money. Like I said I'm a carpenter and my wife is a hairdresser. We make pretty good money and have made good investments and have a very large home with a very low mortgage. So financially I feel confident but me and my wife both have disfunctional families and it seems everyone with kids really depends on their families. So it's a weird dillemma where we make enough money to support ourselves and then some because we have the time to work. So ya we can afford a kid. BUT if we have to pay for child care or if Sarah was a stay at home mom then it'd be tight. The thought of having a kid and not being able to provide scares the crap outta me.
You provide the love... the rest will take care of itself. Don't focus on former dysfunctional behaviors or you'll find yourself unable to escape them. It's a bit like driving a car, you naturally end up drifting wherever you look. I have a hunch, you'll do great.
Before I had a kid I really didn't care if I had kids or not. My wife was all about it but I could take it or leave it. I liked my life just the way it was. I worked, hunted, traveled, went out with friends, had disposable income. Life was great! Why mess it up with a crying baby? Now that I have one I think it's the best thing I ever did and honestly wish I would have started earlier. It changes your life, that's for sure.
Im only 3 months into this whole parenting thing and I have some early observations. It did not come "naturally" to me like I thought it would and I think part of that is just the fact that there is not much dad can do to interact with them when they are young. They kind of just eat, sleep and cry. However, he is really starting to interact with me now and it has gotten more enjoyable since that happened. Not easier, but more enjoyable. I guess I didnt quite grasp how 24/7 this new guy would be and I didnt realize how much I would have to give up. I enjoyed my free time with my wife a great deal, but always figured we would have kids. There has been a lot of second guessing on my part about if this is what I really wanted and so forth, but I can say this with 100% certainty, when I get home from work and he looks up and sees me and starts smiling, laughing and kicking his legs with excitement it is 100% worth it.
Dogs are great too. I have 2 labs and a weiner dog, all are awesome. Yeah, they can be a pain sometimes...but I've always had dogs, always will. Two words of advice... "crate train" :D
Has the weiner dog always been a weiner dog or has he been stretched that way by the two labs playing tug of war with him?
The beauty is that as they get older they require less and less "work", therefore your presence will not be needed as much. By the time my little girl was 3 or 4 I was back to hunting and fishing as much as I did before she was born.
I'm not judging you Jay, just a different outlook. As my kids get older, I am more and more involved in their lives. Between both kids being in school and sports, I hunted less this year than any other previous year. It wasn't even close. I think I had 6 sits total. I expect my personal time to decrease more each year for at least the next 10 years...and thats cool with me.
Same here... I am seeing Zach's college years coming up fast and I want to wisely spend every minute I can with him. A great line on my tombstone will be... Loving father who always made time for his family. I doubt seriously anyone will mention how many deer I killed at my funeral.
Certain aspects maybe, but I'm not buying it:D Today's events sort of reaffirmed some of my hesitations with regard to this subject. Our world is becoming more corrupt, immoral, and just plain awful, not to mention economically unstable. Yes, comparatively speaking, we are a far cry from ancient civilizations where beheading, burning at the stake, and feeding people to the lions was the norm, but I digress. I have a hard time bringing a child into this. I'm a glass half empty person at times, and to me, there is little hope for change in mankind.
Have you seen Idiocracy? Lol, it wasn't a great movie or anything but you sound exactly like the educated people that thought out having kids. Meanwhile the idiots kept reproducing like rabbits. Eventually America was full of idiots. I used to think the same thing you did but if decent people stop having kids it will only get worse. So do we give up or keep up?
Great point Kyle. We need guys like Matt raising our next generation. If not, we ARE without a doubt not going to improve. Matt, I've done the dog thing from puppy to death. I've only done the kid thing 3.5 years. The dog was easily harder, especially early on.
You both make good points. If everyone just said, "the heck with it," we certainly aren't going to be helping fix our world.
I'm still selfish and I have one on the way. I love my hunting time and worry that I won't be doing much more of that when the baby comes. My wife still says I'll be able to hunt so we'll see. I hear my priorities will change. I was like a few others and really didn't care either way about having kids. The wife was the one pushing for it. I'm scared that I'm not ready for the responsibility and the thought of worrying about my kid for the rest of my life is overwhelming to me. Just look what happened today in Connecticut. I'll worry myself insane until I die. I do look forward to introducing her to the outdoors and teaching her everything I know. I'm still scared as hell though.
These were my exact thoughts prior to our little girl...she's 11 months now and its fantastic...you will get to hunt plenty just gotta give and take a little more than before that's all...your always gonna worry I think so no getting around that....it all comes into perspective as it happens I feel....its rewarding and amazing to watch her become her own little person....you will do great and as much work as it is sometimes.....as tough as it is sometimes...it's so worth it when you come home from work or a hunt to that smiling minature you Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I727 using Tapatalk 2
1. Puppies don't where diapers. 2. Babies don't shed. 3. Babies don't ruin fabric with their teeth. 4. Parents will watch your kids if asked, not your dog. 5. It's socially acceptable to spank you kid, not your dog. 6. Insurance doesn't cover vet bills . Etc etc etc
