I know a lot of you guys on this board have children and grand children. What makes me scratch my head is why someone wouldn't want to see their grandchild?? Growing up for me my mom was never around, my dad raised me and my sisters you get the picture. My dad is excellent with anything to do with my child, only problem is he's 12 hours away. Now that I'm in my late 20's an have a small child my mother wants to come back in the picture wanting to see him. That's fine with me whatever works. What pisses me off is when she or my in-laws say they will watch him then never show up or back-out. What causes this? My wife an I pay for a very quality daycare during the week. Only problem with that is we work every other weekend. That's where the part about the grandparents irks me. Don't tell me your going to do something if your not going to follow through. I was blessed with three very good grand parents (didn't know the fourth). Guess it's to much for my son to have the same. Sorry for the Rant it's been a long morning.
I had a great set of grandparents and I am a grandparent. Grandparents should be a very important part of a child's life. They can offer a child wisdom, special privileges, understanding, and a refuge when the parents and children are getting on one another's nerves. It's unfortunate that some people, especially those who are old enough to know better, act the way you're describing. Believe me, it is the grandparents who are missing out on something special. I hope the situation works out. Blessings.........Pastorjim
I agree with everything you just said, that's exactly how mine were. That's how my dad is now. Just don't understand why the other three can't see what they are missing. They would rather party with friends than be with our little one. That little boy is the BEST thing I've ever been apart of. Maybe he's not to them though.
Many, want to give the illusion of caring so that others around them won't look down upon them. My DIL's parents will not watch their grandchildren overnight, and in fact will only babysit for a couple hours. My wife and I will drive the 65 miles to pick up our granddaughter and even though she can wear us out in a day, hate it when she leaves. Being a grandparent is nothing more than an extension of being a parent; a job where you dedicate your life to the raising of a child with no more pay than a smile, a kiss, or a little one looking up at you and saying "I love you Papa!"
Your first sentence hit the nail on the head. My grand parents would have done anything for me, and I would do anything for my son to have the same kind. Everyone that has children and parents that want to be apart of that child's life are very blessed.
I never knew my grandparents because they disowned my mother. But Mama is the most wonderful grandmother there could be. She takes care of the girls when their daddy has to work and I have to be in school. Even more wonderful is that, since she married, her husband has taken on the role of the perfect grandfather. Even though he owns a nice home in the country, he insisted on moving into my mother's house so they could be close enough to take care of the girls. He made Mama quit work when they married so she has plenty of time to be a grandma. We are very fortunate.
My parents will do anything for my daughter. Theyve watched her overnight, watched her in the evenings when I need a break and my wife is at work. My wifes dad and step mom will watch her a few hours here and there when its convenient and they want several days notice. They gave yet to watch her overnight. Their loss. Sent from my SCH-R970 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
You either need to talk to them about it or quit caring and move on. Trying to involved someone who doesn't want to be there will just put a strain on you and your family in the long run. I've was down that road with my dad. I finally quit trying as it was harder on my wife and kids to keep doing so. My dad wasn't a bad guy by any means. We got along good but he lead a very busy life. My brother and my sisters were very demanding of Dad and Mom with their lives, problems, money problems and kids. We didn't demand anything and just wanted them to see our kids. We unintentionally got pushed out and I never said a word as I didn't want to put anymore burden on him and my mom with their hectic life. By the time dad and I had a day off together and planned a visit... he was just beat... so we would schedule another time for a visit. Nothing ever changed and the years went on. I finally just quit trying. Sadly it hurt the kids, Barb and my mom the most. My mom never understood why we quit coming to see them. She felt bad when people asked about us and why we didn't come back. We live 60 miles away from the folks. At dad's funeral I felt pretty guilty for not trying harder for my mom's sake. I just don't think it would have changed anything though if I would have tried harder. Tim
The watching him part doesn't bother me. I've only asked my mother 2 or 3 times to ever watch him. What bothers me is when she calls and ask to have him and then never shows up. Especially this morning when my wife beat on her door for 20 minutes, that's what bothers me. I don not like telling my child he is going to see his grand mother just for her to not show up an hurt his feelings. I've felt that feeling from her my entire life. It wasn't fun.
I understand what you're saying. I've talked to her until I'm blue in the face. Think it may just be time to quit trying an move on. An I'm not even going to start on the in-laws. Just sucks.
From now on when she asks, just say "sure" and then don't show up. Sooner or later, she'll actually be there waiting and wonder what happened. Then, you can explain that you decided that she wasn't going to perpetuate her pain on to the next generation. If that does not get her attention, nothing will.
It is very tough what you are going through. Just make sure you never do the same once you have grandkids. Be there for them !! We have our granddaughter for the next 10 days. We are just heading out the door to shoot bow. We will spoil her rotten and enjoy every minute of it. Tim
This is the same way she treated us as kids. Tell us she would come pick us up. We would wait at the window all weekend long. She would never come. I vowed to never treat my child like she did us. Now ill have to do the same again. Looking back on things dad had a hard job with us. Trying to cheer one child up when someone doesn't show is hard enough. I couldn't imagine three.
Sounds like a good idea to me. This morning we were suppose to drop him off at 6. She called me at 830 and asked where my son was. Seriously?
