There is no choice to make, they can not be alone. I would be a heartless SOB if I just left and said best of luck to ya.
Sota--- All I can say is Karma is a *****, and will find your siblings down the road! Right is right-- and your doing what is right. Down the road there will be no remorse for what you didn't do!
Shortly after my Dad had his first stroke, he went into a quick nose dive... After his second stroke, me and my siblings had conspired to check in more and for one of us to try to be there, at least visit every week or so. This, due to one of my sister reading the riot act to the other siblings. My Dad didn't make it much more than a few weeks from that point... Just like you told your mom, who didn't forget and no doubt may be thinking about what you said, and no doubt she doesn't want to accept it... Your siblings need a no holds barred call out, if things are as you say... No doubt they will get a bit PO'd too, but I have a feeling you can hold your own.
I took care of my mother for almost 2 years, very little help from 3 siblings, But they sure had their hands out at the end, what really pissed me off, is one of my sisters was given a lot in the will, Not once did she show up or help, I also had power of attorney for her health services, two of the three siblings, Women I might ad did nothing but complain of the health care decisioins i made for mom, One even called her doctors numerous times so much that doctors told her to quit calling them or else, well then I really got it, But no help of course, I learned how quickly a family can be torn apart
My dad passed away 9 years ago. Two of my sisters decided mom should sell the place. They should decide her fate. She was 71 at the time and told them to stuff it. Mom loves her place out in the country with the huge yard !! The other sister had used her and dad most of her life as her cash cow. Mom told her to stuff it once dad died. My brother lives 5 miles from her. He also seemed more interested in hand outs and seldom helped her. I live 65 miles from her. I am her go to guy for fixing things, keeping her mower running/ tuned up for her big yard, cutting trees and doing the bigger projects she can't handle. She turned 80 last December and still has no intention of leaving the place. Fact is, she is bored with winter already and looking forward to spring so she can get back to yard work. Lately my brother has taken an interest in helping her more. He can't fix anything to save his arse and not much help to me. He is checking on her more, running her to the doctor, running groceries out to her and things like that. That is nice ! While she really should sell and move to town at her age... as long as she is happy, I don't feel I need to ask her to do it. She would probably tell me to stuff it anyways !!
Tough night last night Mom decided she needed to be up in the middle of the night alone without assistance. I did get the chance to ask my Dad yesterday how he is doing and feeling the only thing he said is that he is frustrated and walked away. I worry about him too he is getting too old for this ****. Funny yesterday I thought I saw a glimmer of hope that we were turning a corner, today has already become a **** show.
My father passed 14 years ago and my mother 20 years prior. I have 3 siblings and only one, my younger brother, helped settle the estate. The other two were quite a hindrance. My sister tried to charge our estate and enormous fee for cleaning the house and sued the estate. She lost in court. The other, the middle brother, was/is a raging alcoholic/ druggie. He started creating some real problems for my younger brother and I so we decided to call the police on him. He was in violation of his probation so back to jail for him, problem solved. It was a great time. I still do not speak to those two siblings.
I have been here a week now, I have to say in that time my mother has not improved she is a danger to herself. My Dad is not going to be able to keep this up, I see it is taking a toll on him. I am going to wait till it is a resealable hour back home and tell the siblings it is time to nut up. I have 4 siblings I need to notify I will notify the 3 I can trust to explain the situation before I send the group to all siblings including the usurper that my mother does not want down here.
My dad fell some time last night and hit his head. Assisted living found him during their morning check. Took him to the ED before 9 AM. He got a CT scan and doc didnt like what he saw. They kept him for a follow up CT scheduled for 4. Gave him lunch and left him in the ED. 6PM and no follow up CT and no dinner. Way to treat a diabetic!! F$$$$ covid! Family would have throat punched these assholes if we could have been there. Lucky they wont let anyone in or somebody would be against the wall with my hands around their throat!
sorry to hear both your troubles, Pic and Sota. Both my folks are still highly functioning mentally, and still a ways off from needing outside physical assistance. I am petrified for when one of them goes, however. It will be a steep downward spiral for the other, they are and have always been retarded co-dependent. Always been blessed to have such close parents, but it will be rough when the time comes.
Im watching the beginning of this with my grandpa. He is diabetic and about to lose his feet. He was also just diagnosed with dementia which is causing him to make poor judgement decisions on what he can physically do. My grandma won’t accept it and doesnt get that he cant be left alone even after hes fallen multiple times. Broken arm, broken ribs, deep lacerations requiring stitching. Adding to the problem is he isnt a small old man. Hes a big guy. My mother and her siblings are checking on them more and they have in-home nurse coming in 3 times per week. It really is a mess.
Hey it was a good night last night. I went and bought my mom depends yesterday and she did not fall in the middle of the night because she had to get up to go to the bathroom. Guess it is true Depends prevent accidents.
My dad developed dementia and went downhill rather quickly, My mother was adamant about keeping him home, She was finally hauled out of her home by ambulance, She just wore out from taking care of her husband, We stepped in, Put my dad in assisted living, Mom finally admitted to this and thanked us later for her peace and quiet and health, its going to happen sooner or later,
God bless you , years ago I cleaned inlaws house every week, 3 baths. To this day I haven't gotten over it. Lets just say.....I'd wager I have the cleanest toilet in town.
I read these and my heart actually breaks for all of you.I lost my mom at 12. I spent days in hospitals as she went through her journey of death. My Father was a monster and I left him and my Two 10 and 8yr older siblings to their own lives as soon as I could, before I graduated high school. We came from poor and I never had to see what some of you experience. I married into well off. MIL's family OMG! Her siblings...just nasty! Hubby is lucky only in ,MIL has dementia and as it worsened the kids got them to sell everything. The youngest and middle child moved them across the country. Moms in care and Dads with youngest. Over the years finances that aren't STILL going to care. We are talking a 15 yr good bye and counting. Have been slowly gifted. God bless the youngest and her family for insisting on being primary. It really does take a special soul to deal with such things.
Luckily no falls today so my parents have the energy to be petty and argumentitive. Harder than dealing with **** in the laundry pile and piss soaked bedding.
I am leaving TPA Tampa international Airport headed to MSP Minneapolis international airport on Saturday I am out and done my lazy candy assed sugar tit siblings are going to have to step up and get their ass down here to take their turn. So pissed off because they are all well something has to be done that does not involve them actually getting off their ass.
