Fletch's 2019-2020 Semi Sarcastic BS Thread

Damn Joe dropping quality material this morning.

 

I just threw up a little bit.

 

If you're planning to buy any large sets of snap-ons then sign up for an automotive class at a community/technical college first. They offer a student discount program thats pretty substantial. A buddy of mine did that and got like half off. Instead of costing him an arm and a leg, it only cost him a hand and a foot.

 

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Good tip, but anything I don't have, I ask my neighbor (an aircraft mechanic, who's dad was a machinist) and vice versa. If neither of us have one it's probably so niche, we rent it.

 

Now that’s the kind of neighbor I need. I’m usually the one who all the neighbors come to when they need a tool. It would be nice to be on the receiving end of the tool loan from time to time.

 

It works out well, I'm an IT guy, so I find parts, schematics, oid catalogs, manuals, etc and help him rebuild his toys. He has no fear and can figure out most electrical, mechanical, plumbing or hydraulics.

Helped him rebuild a plane, cedar boat, get his old Harley running, old Evinrude motors and we're periodically working on his 29 Desoto.

And he's a good guy

 

An IT guy! I salute you. Hopefully you aren’t the type of IT guy who has to deal with dumb f**ks who can’t figure out why their password stops working everytime they turn on caps lock.

I made the mistake of setting up a new website and email server for my company myself instead of outsourcing it. The website and server actually work great and I learned a ton about linux, c-panel, wordpress, etc, and how the internet works in the process of doing it. Only problem is now that I’ve done that, anytime something goes wrong with anything computer related everyone just assumes I broke it.... somebody try's to send an email and it doesn’t send because they did something like type in the wrong email address they come crying to me like it’s something I did.

The other day I get a call from one of my employees asking me if I can undo whatever I did to the computers last night because her mouse doesn't work anymore. I informed her that I didn’t do anything and asked if she had checked the batteries and if the little receiver thing was still plugged in to the USB port. “Of course I checked the batteries and I haven’t unplugged any cords so it isn’t that”. I go in and first thing I do is look under the desk and sure enough the little wireless mouse receiver thing is sitting on top of the computer case and a phone charger cable is now connected to the USB port that the mouse receiver used to be plugged in to. “Oh, you mean that thing, I didn’t think that did anything so I unplugged it because I needed to charge my phone”. I’m like here’s a thought - if you unplug something from the computer and as soon as you unplug it something suddenly stops working, try plugging it back in and see if that solves the problem.... duhh

 

One of my favorites....... Before I retired I was a facilities electrician for a large company. My planner gave me a work order to repair some faulty lights in the HR dept. The main secretary for the HR dept. was an indignant women who called in the complaint. When I got there she was babbling away with another woman (yes I assumed their genders). I stood there waiting. She pauses her rambling long enough to give me a condescending "can I help you?". I ask the location of the faulty lights and off I go.

I come back in less than a minute and tell her "all fixed". When she asked what I had done to fix them so quickly I replied, "I turned on the switch on the wall by the lights". I know she could hear me laughing as I walked out the door.

 

The IT guy at work is a little dork with a pompous attitude. I like to remind him that he is a parasitic employee of the company. He produces nothing, he has zero interaction with customers, generates zero revenue only there to cost the company money. I am the only employee with an apple product and he does not get to touch my lap top.