Fletch's 2019-2020 Semi Sarcastic BS Thread

Looking forward to "The Northman" Friday. Looks like a newer style movie/series. See what it is....

 

Dad wore thin belts for work. Those stung. When he got home from work he would change clothes and not wear a belt. I am pretty sure he didn't wear a belt just so when we got in trouble, he could go tell us to wait behind the garage while he went to get his belt. Not sure what was worse. Waiting for him or the actual spanking. Both sucked.

Only once did I ever flip someone off at home. Gave them the bird and got cuffed hard in the back off the head. I didn't realize he was standing behind me. Seems he liked that even less then cussing. Geez you would have thought I killed someone by the @ss chewing he gave me for that.

 

I got cuffed in the back of the head .... by a strange woman in a store!

My brother and I were terrible when my parents took all of us shopping. We would run off and screw around while our parents and other 2 siblings were shopping. I think we were playing tag when my brother went flying past me. I tried to kick him as he went by and got slapped in the head. I turned around and saw a strange lady who suddenly looked astonished when she realized I wasn't her kid. He was standing next to her .... laughing. Slightly dazed I ran off to find my brother who was also laughing.

On the way home he couldn't wait to tell our parents that some lady slapped me. My mom's exact words were "Good! You deserved it. Now I don't have to slap you".

My dad just laughed.

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We were pretty good in public. There was one teacher I hated. 6th grade teacher who was a pompous @ss. Always bragging what a great hockey player he was. I did something he didn't like in class. I don't remember what it was. He had me come up front and put my hand out, palm down. He grabbed a yard stick and smacked the back side off my hand. Then he asked if I would behave. I smiled at him and asked him if that was just a practice swing because it didn't hurt. Try again.

He got red in the face and was livid. He swung the yard stick back and if he wouldn't have caught himself, it wasn't aimed at my hand. He told me to go sit down. I sat down still smiling. Back of my hand hurt like hell but wasn't going to let anyone know it. I got a D on my report card a few weeks later. Folk went and talked to him. He said I would have gotten a B but my poor attitude got me a D. When they got home, Mom said I was right, he is a pompous @ss. Dad just laughed at the two of us. I think he knew cussing wasn't going away anytime soon,

 

I remember what it was. We had two 6th grade teachers. We had the one in the morning and then d!ckwad in the afternoon. He didn't like the other 6th grade teacher. The two rooms were across the hall from each other. When we got to his classroom, he would leave the door open. He would have us cheer and clap our hands to try to annoy her. Like we liked him, were happy to get to his classroom and get out of her's. I liked her so I wouldn't do it. That made him mad.