So 2020 has been tough...and I attempted in a small way to capture the thoughts swirling in my head in the following post to my site the other day. It truly is written for myself and no one else; I'm definitely the type of man that I have to force into proper perspective. Figured some may appreciate or understand this...or worse yet may even need to hear it themselves: ________________________________________________________ *Warning...this post is a glimpse into my thoughts and beliefs more transparent than perhaps I usually publish. If religion or an introspective look is not something you think a deer hunter can learn from - this article is definitely not for you. Written primarily as a strong reminder to myself, I feel this is something numerous hunters can draw insight from, and no doubt sympathize with. I PLACE HUNTING ON WAY TOO HIGH OF A PEDESTAL IN MY LIFE To be very candid for a moment, this is arguably one of my biggest struggles in life. In Ephesians, Paul clearly identifies us as being dead in sin - and this sinner continually struggles with all things hunting infiltrating and infecting my life due to the erroneous level of importance I place upon it. Yes, hunting is a passion so entwined into who Ty is, that it would be impossible to remove it and still be whom God created me to be. However, He did not design me to allow that passion to become an addiction which negatively impacts all other aspects of my life. I've hinted through some social media posts that things are not all good in the deer woods for Pops and I this year. It seems the tumultuous year that is 2020 desires to cause chaos even in the world of deer for us. While each thing which has occurred by and of itself is not a big deal, the compounding impact of one thing after another has triggered quite the tailspin in my mind and if I'm honest, heart. For years deer hunting was the escape I would run to. That one place that I could always count on to recharge my soul's battery and make the problems of the world just not seem so insurmountable. This year however was quite different and the quiet time up a tree to think was torture as much as it was a blessing. Entering the 2020 fall with far less properties, 2 lost and another cut in half, made the deer season feel odd before it ever started. That alone though could be looked past, but it didn't stop there. As the season approached, began and currently still is; it just seemed the list kept growing at every turn: The logging conducted well after spring green up was pivotal for long term success...but in the short term it was confirmed two mature bucks had chosen to move off and not continue normal use of the property as they had for years. Food plots at my place were an epic fail, like no other season before! Cereal rye is the only saving grace to have anything out there still as I type this. Discovered there was hunting pressure negatively impacting one sanctuary on my personal place, due to a neighbor's main stand just a few feet off the line. Illness struck me HARD late October to early November when I'd planned on hunting hard. The sudden, in season, loss of our biggest and main late season farm; where large amount of food plots were planted solely with post-firearms season in mind. Those are just the major negative notes from the year...as you can imagine it has been quite easy to allow myself to wallow in self-pity. Many would say it's only normal for me to do so...some would say even justifiable. However, I'm reminded of a quote I heard once by Steve Maraboli; "It's a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal." The hardest problem of finding the peace and calm in the storm of such frustrations, is just the inability to stop and force oneself to step back from it. For it is then that we can begin to approach the situation with a calm and clear mind. Yes, it's true, this season and situations surrounding it are not items I'd have chosen to occur - BUT God still has poured out upon me blessings of which far exceed what I deserve, and that is where the clarity in the chaos begins to take form. Furthermore, just how important is deer hunting if we are honest? If God appeared before me and handed over a pen, a piece of paper and told me I had to write down the things in this life which truly matter - deer hunting would have no business being written down. So, why then is a tailspin inside hunting causing such turmoil and chaos in my life as a whole? The answer is an easy one; I've placed it on a pedestal of life much larger than it should be. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells all of us to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Now notice the passage doesn't say anything about the destination that path is taking you to or what the outcome is of that route, it merely states he will make it straight. I like to think of it as he will bring clarity as to the path we are on and bring us back to proper perspective. Another way to picture is He attaches horse blinders upon our life, removing all distractions in our periphery which may cause us to confuse our direction. It's true I could grow bitter and angry with a landowner that has seemingly changed the agreement we had without warning. Many would say that would be a just conclusion. However, with proper perspective - how can I possibly allow anger to enter into a situation of which I don't deserve to begin with? How can I allow hunting to construct such hatred towards someone that has for years granted permission to use their land as if it were mine so freely? When you begin to ask yourself these questions, proper perspective and clarity start to take hold. There are numerous folks, some perhaps even reading this, which struggle to have access on any private ground and rely solely on public land. Who am I to sit here and pretend I deserve more? Who am I to not smile for all the blessings which I've had in the past and look to the future as an opportunity instead of a burden? STEPPING FORWARD So here I sit, in the same situation that plays out in our lives in nearly every aspect of it; two paths lay before me and neither will be easy. I merely have to choose which I desire to do: Do Nothing Route - Continue to struggle with the limitations of my present situation. OR Make A Change - Struggle through door knocking, letter writing and the million no's which will no doubt come in response. I liken it to the great words of Gandalf in the cinematic production of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. In a moment, when Frodo says he wishes things had not happened in his time, Gandalf frankly responds; "So do I, so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." I refuse to allow something so insignificant as deer hunting cause me such stress, anxiety and anguish. No matter what unfolds ahead of me leading into the 2021 season, I will force myself to enjoy the ride and embrace the journey. For it is the bumps, the turns and the hiccups which precede an event that make the event memorable. So letters will be written, perhaps hundreds. Doors will be knocked...well maybe not until this covid crap is done, but either way change is what lays before us, and that's actually pretty exciting. God Bless, Ty
Thanks for sharing Ty! Reminds me of a quote from a Ray Wylie Hubbard song... "The days I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days"
Awesome Post and very encouraging to a guy like me who is at a crossroads myself with hunting...I took last season off (truly only hunted once in mid Sept) was going through issues Spiritually where I was having to face hard issues and total surrendering of my life to Jesus... fast forward to this season was able to get a new lease (after giving the 1 I had for years up) and with great optimism thought going into the season it was back to normal hunting wise with desires and excitement and had high expectations.... only for them to be dashed by a untold of Timber Harvest right as the season started in early September and lasted till mid October, and let’s just say has totally ruined the lease to the point where just today I told the leasing agent even if it was free I wouldn’t get on this lease again ... and let’s just say the owner of the property is very shady and not a man of truth or his word. I went yesterday on some public land and got there around 11 and wasn’t feeling it and got down at 12:30 and actually drove home crying and praying cause at this junction of my life I don’t have the desire or even want to hunt anymore... the effort isn’t worth the payoff for me.... I feel as if maybe the Lord is directing me in a different way... but my struggle is I love everything Hunting... I do love it and the thought of not doing it makes my heart hurt and truly as a grown man and father of 2 young adults I cry to think I just don’t have the true passion and desire for it.... reading this post shows that I’m not the only 1 who feels possibly like that... and I Pray Ty for you and ask you Pray for me too and ask that Gods Will Be Done.... not ours but his and that through all this he would be Glorified.... thank you so much for this post and I pray all things work out for you according to his will and that you and your family have a Blessed & Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Shawn
Ty, I believe you and I both live in the same state and not that far from one another and as a whole, this state is having a good year ... that wont transcend down to personal success for many .... You are still lucky enough to have private to hunt, I used to have private for 18yrs +2, but due to deaths of both the farmer and his wife and problems on the other lease for 2 yrs, those place and success I had there remains only in my mind and in picture and mounts .. I now concentrate on our F&W areas.. yes, I have been successful thru the years on these places and have hunted them for many many years .. I havnt seen this much pressure on these two places ever !! .. was it due to covid and more guys out of work, I cant say but the pressure was stupid !! .. last season ('19) was one of my better years on state land (205lb 8pt, a very large doe and coyote), this season I never saw a decent shooter .. I passed on numerous small buck and small fawns/Does & Buttons... then due to work, covid (not me) my season ended early and I never had time to get back out ... I primarily bowhunt bow only areas which I am grateful for on these places, but that didnt stop the pressure.. I go as far as 1-1.25 miles in and still had guys screwing things up ...Ive struggled with shoulder arm problems for a few years, however, things are just now getting better and I'm able to shoot a tad more now without pain ...this is the first year in 33yrs BOWhunting, I havnt killed a deer of any sex or any deer at all bow or gun, as I no longer gun hunt and I will not kill baby deer, just wont do it, not even for meat, my Does must be at least 1.5 yr old and dress 100lbs + .... there were some interesting interactions and days with deer and still enjoyed those days and hunts .. I 'could' have killed on more than one occasion, but by my choice I didnt and got picked off mid draw on another, a 2.5yr old buck (not one I would normally take, so maybe getting picked off was a good thing, still a fun afternoon) .. I will reflect back and be grateful for just being out and enjoying nature .. I'm getting older and not sure how many years I have being able to hunt as actively as I do, backpacking in stands/sticks every hunt ... I understand where you are coming from, we all have these years/seasons, esp. if one hunts as much and as long as we do and sometime life gets in the way of hunting, we must deal with it and carry on with our lives ... Hunting is part of me, esp. BOWhunting, it will be till I die, but dont let it be the end all and enjoy life, it is to short as it is ..... Good Luck and my God bless you and yours...
All of the above posts gave me a lot of encouragement. It's easy for me to get frustrated during hunting season. My 3 kids are all elementary school age, and my wife works, so prioritizing taking them hunting vs going solo to be able to hunt my best tree stands is something of a challenge. As well as rarely being able to hunt the best weather days, and having to be home by Sunday because of family priorities...It's easy for me to look at things as "inconveniences" or reasons why I didn't punch a tag. But truth is, I'd much rather help my kids shoot a their first doe than me shoot a booner. I have to remind myself what's truly important. The best things and memories in my life involve my wife and kids. Not me being personally successful.
Personally for me, that was the best quote of the year. Something I need to remember every day! Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
Ty, Jim.. As you both likely are aware, at least to some extent via the various social channels, I've had a pretty rough last couple years. Broken body parts, divorce, mid life crisis?? lol Call it all what you will but suffice to say its been a brutal couple years. In every spectrum of my life. Depressing, humbling, challenging..... all those verbs and then some. What once was a solace (bowhunting) became something that felt to be an inescapable reflection of all I've screwed up in my life. It went from a time of clarity and focus to a time of thought induced stress. I didn't hunt at all the first year... none. the next fall I killed a doe, basically in the back yard. During that time I've moved across the country. Went from hunting, knowing, and nurturing great deer on private properties to hunting heavily pressured unknown woods. My frustrations have been MANY trying to both learn new areas, deal with the people, and adjust my standards to what is realistic for this area. I hunted harder this year than I have in 4 years. I saw fewer deer than any previous season I can recall. BUT, I still got to hunt 3 states this year. I still was able to take 2 deer with my bow. I still was able to take my son out for his first successful deer hunt. It was a marvelous year... As the last two years have taken their toll on me its re-written what was important. Life has settled for me some and I was able to get into the woods without getting lost in my mind..... but I was still not having fun. My entire bowhunting career had been focused on killing big bucks. End of story. Most of my hunting time this year was being spent in Michigan. Not exactly Kansas anymore Toto, and even the couple of promising bucks I'd seen over the summer were gonzo. Then one day I just realized how stupid it all was. That my season didn't have to have ANY expectations. Other than to be outside and enjoy that time. That realization may sound stupid to some... but when bowhunting big bucks for years on end its incredibly easy to become consumed, as many of you know. Since then that quote has been resonating with me. Not just in the woods or my hunting life but in all aspects of my day. PRO TIP: IT WORKS
TJ it makes me so happy to know you've hit a groove in life again and know you've been in my prayers more than you know over them!!!
Great write-up Ty!. Here's my take (short), I feel God's presence in the woods way more then I do in a church. May sound strange but?...
hunting is what you make of it, brothers. I know that sounds simplistic...but. It just is. The one thing it has always been to me is humbling. As I have said many times on here, I like to be humbled. I am a very blessed man and hunting is the one thing I can always count on to make me feel small. I like it. Makes me hungrier. I will say it does tend make me a lesser husband in a lot of ways, though. I think this season was the first with my wife where I found the proper balance.
In alot of ways hunting reminds me of drinking. If the most important aspects of your life arent in good shape first then it has the tendency to magnify the ****storm. Thats not to say it cant be a stress reliever or an escape from time to time but ive found that when i put it on that pedestal where it doesnt belong, im setting up for a big fall. Addiction is a scary thing whether its drugs, alcohol, or a hobby. If it effects you or your loved ones in a negative way, either it needs to put back in check or kicked to the curb. Sounds like youve got it under control. Thanks for the write up Ty. FWIW you cant go wrong being addicted to God and family.
Let's add one more thing....I just laugh at this point....trespasser spotted by pops on neighbor's land. I drop what I'm doing to go investigate, find truck take pictures and call owner. He wants pictures and plate and is calling cops immediately. Pops leaves the woods 3.5 hours later....truck is still there and no law ever showed up. He stayed and watched for a while and the guy eventually sped off well after dark. Awesome...just awesome....
Seems life gets a lot less complicated when you watch your own bobber and be there for your family not just be there but be there engaged and grateful for the time, because we all have an hourglass.
One hundred percent. To be fair though, I have promised that landowner if we ever see anything to minimum let them know. Just because life's been a bunch of negatives lately, won't stop me from being a good human being to my neighbor.
Great write up @tynimiller! You have echoed my thoughts as well. I made hunting too important this year. As I write this, I sit with only one doe tag filled on the last day of regular gun season. Nothing with a bow as of yet this year. We are currently on the second to last day of the after Christmas gun season. I have permission on a friend's farm to shoot up to three more does. However, I have given up this hunt. Instead, my wife took this time to visit an old college friend for a couple of days while I stay home with our three boys. She needed a break as much as I needed a break for time to hunt. Finding balance is never easy, especially when what you love to do has a limited time frame each year. Maybe, I will get another hunt or two in during late archery, Arkansas goes until the end of February. But, if I do not, I cannot complain. I have had a great season even if I do not get a bow kill this year. In addition to my doe, my oldest got his first deer this season. My dad was in town for my son's deer, so three generations of my family were able to experience that moment. I had a great time in MO with @LittleChief. Despite not filling any tags in MO, I had a couple of close calls. My brother helped a friend of his with doe management at his friend's place in Texas and gave me a couple of deer before my son and I killed, so my freezer has plenty of meat. Hunting is my personal passion, but it should never take place of the more important things in life. Thanks for the reminder.
The title of the thread made me think of some of my favorite stoic philosophers. Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca. For anyone looking to find peace and wisdom its a great place to start. May I suggest "The Daily Stoic" by Ryan Holiday as a good introduction.
