I have been involved in some discussions about being a parent on another forum and recently addressed this on there and in my blog. I'm sure that some will disagree and others will bring up points I've missed, but that's ok. Sorry for the long read. With Father’s Day being tomorrow, I thought this would be an appropriate time to speak on what a father is not and what a father is. A father is not a boy who gets a girl pregnant and then drops out of the scene. A father is not the guy who pulls up to the house and the children become afraid. A father is not the guy who comes home from work and takes out his frustrations on his children. A father is not the guy who consistently comes home drunk or comes home from work and sits around getting drunk in front of the children. A father is not the guy who treats his children like his own personal slaves. All of these people are nothing more than a sperm donor. A father is the guy who flops back and forth between fear and joy when he hears his beloved is carrying his offspring. A father is the guy who worries throughout the pregnancy praying that nothing will go wrong. A father is the guy who starts worrying about whether or not he’ll do a good job raising a child before the child is born. A father is the guy who knows that his life just became 3rd priority behind his child and wife but thinks of the sacrifice as a blessing. A father is the guy who talks to the baby before it is even born. A father is the guy who even though he is gagging at that first dirty diaper, makes it through getting the baby cleaned up and in clean diapers. A father is the guy who while changing wet diapers gets pee’d on by the baby and laughs about it later. A father is the guy who walks through the door after work, kisses his wife and then goes directly to the baby. A father is the guy who has no problem with talking about all the things his baby does for the first time as if no one else has ever experienced it before. A father is the guy who thinks it is great that he can have the baby all to himself for an evening to give his wife time off. A father is the guy who sits down with his little girl and plays dolls with her and doesn’t care who knows it. A father is the guy who sits down with his little boy and plays trucks with him and doesn’t care who knows it. A father is the guy who can put away his dislike for Sesame Street or Barney to watch with the child just for the bonding experience. A father is the guy who gets delight out of watching his child discover their surroundings every day. A father is the guy who on the first day of school worries if his child is doing okay the whole day. A father is the guy who takes time off work to go to the parent teacher conferences. A father is the guy who comes home from work exhausted but walks through the door with a smile on his face and listens to his child relay his day to him and then summons up the energy to play. A father is the guy who remembers all the events in the child’s life no matter how insignificant the child may think those events are. A father is the guy goes to the school when the child is in trouble or needs help and is the child’s biggest advocate throughout the ordeal. A father is the guy who can balance on that high wire between being the child’s best friend and the child’s life teacher; able to play and listen one second and correct and discipline the child the next. A father is the guy who smiles throughout the child playing a musical instrument for the first time no matter how many sour notes are found. A father is the guy who holds the child up so they know they can always reach for the stars. A father is the guy who picks the child up when they fall and let’s them know he will always be there to make it better. A father is the guy who gives them their first driving lesson and no matter how scary it is assures them they did good for the first time. A father is the guy who, though worn out and tired, stands up straight and tall every time the child is recognized for achieving. A father is the guy who is hurt when the child decides it is no longer cool to hang out with Dad, but does not show it. A father is the guy that no matter how tough he likes to show others he is, gets a lump in his throat as he hears his child’s name announced for graduation. A father is the guy who takes his baby to college and has to drop them off and leave, even though all he wants to do is tell that child to get back in the car and go home. A father is the guy who calls that college student frequently just to hear their voice. A father is the guy who is ready to start right back up where they left off when the child decides hanging out with Dad isn’t so bad after all. A father is the guy who reluctantly gives his daughter away at her marriage and worries when his son gets married because he isn’t sure that he taught his son well enough. A father is the guy who worries about his children’s welfare from the day they are born until the day he dies, always questioning whether he did everything he can. A grandfather is the guy who did a good enough job to be rewarded with another generation, knowing this time he gets all the benefits without most of the responsibilities. To all my fellow fathers out there, I hope you have a great Father’s Day! Now, I have to get ready, because my kids are coming to visit and bringing my granddaughter with them!
