I have a son that turned 2 in August 2011. His mom and I split when he was 8 months old (Split April 2010. not married but, had a date set for that following July). His mom and I had 50/50 custody for a little over a year. We didn't have anything in writing at all and then out of the blue, she filed for emergency temporary custody. In case any of you are not familiar with that, it is when neither of you have custody and one of you files for many reasons most of which are things such as child endangerment or fear of the other leaving the state. The accusations were completely bogus and most all were lies. The parts that weren't lies were embellished to seem like they were worse than they really were. I later found out that her lawyer supposedly wrote everything up and made it sound worse than it really was. This was back in April of 2011. She didn't allow me to see him until the end of July right before his birthday in early August. Not an easy time in my life. Add to all of this that I was laid off of a job I started due to our split. Another post there one of these days maybe. Then my business that I had invested all my money into, never went anywhere. Not a good year to say the least. Add to that, she is living in a house I put a nice down payment on in her name due to keeping my credit open for my business. Not smart on my part at all. Now I have my son every other weekend thanks to our great in favor of the mother state of NC. So now I get to watch this backward hat, baggy pants, messed up teeth moron basically replace me as my sons every day father figure. I thought that by now I would be use to it or at least a little more at ease and less upset about the whole thing but, I am not. Do any of you out there that may have been through this have any advise on how to handle this?? It really sucks. I guess I would be a little better with it if the guy were more like me and less like some gangster want a be. Just don't want my sin having the same values this guy has.
Understand this be the father and your son will see the father you are.....Now let me tell you from a father prospective....If I were in your place and that POS...Piece of shyt! Harm my child the police would place me in an in mental hospital for self mutilation. Because i would amputate my foot off in his azz! Children know the difference, and as long as you set a standard a path for your child to follow then your son will follow it. If that POS try to enforce some ungodly rule in your child mind..Have a sit down heart to heart conversation with him...He'll listen reason. If he want to be thugnificent then that's on him not you. Be loyal to your child let him know every other weekend who's the man. THE REAL MAN! And your problems will correct themselves with unfettered doubt. My daughter is in her second year of college..her mother and I broke up over 12 years ago. When her mother started dating another man. I went over there and said these very words... I realize you and Kathy are seeing one another and I'm happy for you both I really am. But were my daughter needs are she will tell you that I'm her father. And if there's a problem her mother can fix it. i have that much faith in her to do so as she gave her life. But if she tell me that if you put your hands on in any inappropriate manner. She will call her Godfather and he will EFF you up then I'm going to eff you up. Please don't take this as a threat. Understand this is my one and only child. So walking through hell with gasoline draws on won't be an option in your life as you now know it. He never spoke one one harsh to her. In fact they have gotten along well.....my daughter have always told me she didn't like him, but he never touched nor said anything to her because i would have beat the dog shyt out of him. You don't have to like him, but you need to let your ex and him know where you stand 110% of the time when it comes to your child well being. When he knows this all doubt will be removed. My daughter mother told Greg these words... Her daddy is far crazier than I am. Problem solved.
You could press for custody every other week. You could also talk with your wife and her boyfriend and be very honest with them about your concerns.
You are correct. I believe most men don't express their concerns to their children's mother potential new partners.
It's a shame what split ups due to the innocent children. It happens way too often. Good luck and make sure the child is first in everyone's mind that is involved.
He definitely knows how I feel about that. He knows what will happen if he does anything outside the guide lines I set in place for him. I had a major talk, 2 hours to be exact with him and he knows. Doesn't say a word to me ever because of it.
I have talked to them both. What I am having a hard time with is I had my dad there for me every day of my life until I moved out. Thats all I know. I guess what is bothering me is not being there every day for him like my dad was and someone else being there.
I would be careful what you say as hard as that is reason being any threat of remark or even comments you make to your child about his mother or new boyfriend could come back to haunt you in court.Kill em with kindness and put your boy ahead of everything when you have the little guy make it about you and him and not his mother and her decisions.Kid first.
I had the talk with them both when they first started well, I found out about them. I knew him long before and they started seeing each other which was before she and I split. I haven't said or made any threats since I had that talk. I am careful and make sure I watch what I say. Heck the only way I communicate with her her is through email so that she can't try to use anything I say against me in court. I do everything through court now. I am extremely careful since she tried using scratches on his butt where he was digging in his diaper to say I did something to harm him. So if her boyfriend were to do anything, I would go through DSS and every other legal agency I had to.
Hey, I'm old...68. There are so many things and angles from which to view this thread. At my age and from my background... all of them are lose lose senarios. Live in's, young, not married, business pie in the sky and on and on. I'm sorry, but just offering a different point of view. No family comittment.... but suddenly when it's alll going to hell we want to scream "FAMILY". I guess what I'm saying is ... I feel your pain, but damn I saw it coming. The decisions we make in life actually do effect our life. And when we're wrong... we have to be able to admit it and not make the same mistakes again... whether they be business or personnel. Yeh I know, I'm a hard azz.... but it comes from wisdom of age...and near misses in experience.
I'm not screaming FAMILY. I am guessing you read that somewhere in my post?? No!!! We weren't a family by law and I am not upset it didn't work out!!! I am past that part in case you have a reading comprehension problem!! COMMITMENT?? What does that matter any more. Its way to easy to get a divorce now actually cost way less than getting married and is just as easy. It would have turned out the same way if we were married. Thats one of the things that is wrong with our nation now. You act like you know the whole story. If you did, you would know how committed I was. I understand thats how it goes and Dads don't get crap unless the mom is some drugged out ***** even then it takes an act of GOD to get it done (here in NC anyways). I am not complaining about it. Just was wondering if there was anyone out there that has been through not seeing their child every day. Heck, I wouldn't have posted this had I known others who had went through it personally. And yes, I know our decisions effect our lives if nothing else I have learned that. Do you have kids?? I guess I may not have been clear about what I was talking about handeling. Its the mental part of wanting to be there every day seeing him do every day things such as go to school every day, wake up and go to bed, help out with the homework later in his life, be there when he needs to talk about little things or be there when he has a question. Its knowing I won't that is giving me a fit mentally and wanting to instill the values I have and not some other guys.
I'm sorry I don't follow that logic..AT All. People take kindness as weakness. Let me be honest you and many others can take that approach. Many people take the light hearten approach but no me when I let him know where I stood. The line in the sand was drawn. No line, no emotion they feel they can do whatever. And most do. Appearance goes to character...Would you hire someone at your company with a slouchy appearance or take your daughter out with his azz showing. You can political correct if you chose not me. I love my daughter she's my joy. Harm her and I will make sure you rot in jail. hurt her and I'll break your freaking arm. I'm no tough guy, that's how my father was toward my sisters and I. That's my path.
I'm saying this will happen to your son not at all, but this is what happening to children around wayward parents. http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=...idWQCg&usg=AFQjCNH0-g8onFzthnci_03jskVmAJM5fA Aveion Lewis' mother gets 40 years for boy's abuse, death Morgan Lockett insisted "I did not kill my son" during her sentencing. http://www.roanoke.com/dtiphotos/Aveion_Lewis.jpg http://www.roanoke.com/dtiphotos/KG_Morgan_Lockett_01.jpg Was Morgan Lockett the tragically submissive victim of a domineering husband or a willing participant in the slow, cruel killing of her 2-year-old son, Aveion Lewis? Defense lawyers and prosecutors presented both possibilities at her pre-sentencing hearing Wednesday in Roanoke Circuit Court. But Judge Clifford Weckstein's ruling supported the latter portrayal: Lockett drew 40 years in prison, just 10 shy of the maximum allowable penalty. The decision partly closes a case that began two years ago, in January 2010, after Morgan Lockett's husband, Brandon Lockett, told police Aveion had been taken for ransom. He later admitted the kidnapping had been a ruse, and said his stepson had choked while eating and that Aveion's body had been disposed of by a friend. When Aveion's remains were found two weeks later in a Roanoke County landfill, investigators discovered the toddler's body bore injuries that included a scar from a lit cigarette, second-degree burns on the backs of his legs, an untreated fractured arm and a loss of weight so extreme that a medical examiner said it could have been fatal. In August, Brandon Lockett, 25, pleaded no contest to second-degree murder and felony child abuse. Morgan Lockett made a similar agreement midway through her trial in October. On Wednesday, witnesses and spectators turned out for Morgan Lockett's sentencing in such force that deputies moved the proceedings to a larger courtroom. A number of Morgan Lockett's seven brothers and sisters testified that she was a loving, caring mother whose kind nature was compromised by the appearance of Brandon Lockett. The couple met on a telephone chat line in 2006, and he later moved into her home, not long after the birth of Aveion, Morgan Lockett's son by her high school sweetheart, James Lewis. "When Brandon came on the scene, a whole lot of things changed," said Morgan's older brother, Chris Ward. "It was a real controlling and abusive-type relationship." Morgan Lockett, also 25 and the mother of four other children, took the stand in her case for the first time Wednesday. For an hour and a half, nudged by pointed questions from court-appointed attorney Tommy Strelka, she went through a spectrum of emotional highs and lows. She laughed giddily when discussing her early relationship with James Lewis, but when asked about the darker matters of the case, her tone ranged from lethargic to fierce.
Everyday for the first day of school i held my daughters hand and walked her to school. Her mother have never interfered with that process. So I know your feelings. and i cry for you. Once when my daughter's mother was starting to see a guy before she started seeing Greg the guy told me that walking my daughter to school was for sissy's. I gave him a choice to apologize or do it from a hospital bed.. No one disrespects me infront of my child and question my manhood in front of her mother. or any person like that. He got the message and left. When I see my child I get choked up and tears start running down my cheeks. I'm so proud of my child. I'm happy to see she's becoming her own person. due in part of my ideals. Even when I go to the Airport to meet her. She's my pride and joy. It's about being a father. We're all different and approach parenting different.... We all will follow a path that works for each of us. So don't judge each person on their ideals of parenting..judge them on their character. Because those that you feel closely to will be the ones you will keep around.
I'm cool. I leave the sub-humans to bowels of the sewer system in which they dwell. Take care got take a shower and get some sleep... Chin down eyes forward.
