Thought I would put up some jokes about me... I mean Chuck Norris. hope you get a good laugh out of them When Alexander Bell invented the phone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris dies 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built the courage to tell him yet. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there is no sign of life. Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris swims through land. Chuck Norris and Superman fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattlesnake........after three days of agony and pain..........the rattlesnake died When Chuck Norris is doing a push-up, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. The original title Alien vs. Predator, was Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris. The film was canceled shortly after going into preproduction. No one wanted to pay nine dollars to see a movie that lasted 14 seconds long. Chuck Norris' hand is the hand that can beat a royal flush. When Chuck Norris reads a book, he stares them down till he gets the info he wants. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, to bad he hasn't cryed. Even google can't find Chuck Norris.
