Borrowed this one from somewhere else. A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of of timberland near Colville , WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points that she decided to climb. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility. And I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down.
Pavlov is in a bar having a beer when the phone rings. He jumps up and screams "I forgot to feed the dog!" on his way out the door. A roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says "Do you mean a 'martini'? The roman replies "If I wanted more than one, I would have ordered more than one."
