My wife looks after her parents at least 3 nights a week with grocery shopping, Dr appointments, etc I see how it affects her. Her dad is 86 has CBPL, her mom has dementia. My wife has a sister who for the best has little to no involvement.
My wife is a saint the time and energy she spends taking after her parents and the grandsons on demand. Part of getting old is taking care of elders but realizing you are becoming the oldest generation really kinda sucks.
Bless her and all others good enough to care for their loved ones. This said,they need extra care from their parteners as they do so. I'm sure your wife is very fortunate in having you Sota.
Sota, my complements on your wife as caregiver. I had to take care of my mother for 10 years after Dad died. Billboard: One side shows a couple with a little girl. Other side of the billboard shows a young lady with elderly parents. "They took care of us. Now we take care of them."
My wife and I are rather traditional that is why when we moved up by my daughter and the grandsons we moved her parents up as well. Funny I asked my wife if she will take care of me if I need care, she said A-hole you can afford assisted living. Love my wife she does not sugar coat it.
My wife left for Florida Sunday with the daughter SIL and grandkids, her dad is in the hospital with lung issues my MIL with dementia can not be alone. I forbid my wife from coming home to deal with this. I got it no big deal, hell the dogs at home will suffer more than me dealing with it. I like to think that it keeps me out of hell. My in-laws I consider my parents too, look after your elders.
That certainly is a tough situation. Being constantly worried about someone non-stop is all consuming.
Got my FIL home from the hospital, got my MIL into the walk in clinic for her clogged ears and sore throat, made it home to spend time with the dogs still sleeping at the in laws tonight to make sure all is well. Going to have to have the talk when my wife gets home her parents need to be in assisted living.
It certainly takes a special type of person to be a caregiver. I’m not sure I could do it. My dad always told us he would do everything in his power to make sure us kids never had to care for him in his later stages of life. We knew he was sick with lung cancer but he wouldn’t allow us to help. We finally got him to the hospital and he was gone in less than 48 hours. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
That's rough man. My Dad is 78 and was diagnosed with Parkinsons recently. He is a tough stubborn sob. He takes care of like 8 dogs and cats he rescued but is slowing down. I'm very worried how this is all going to progress.
My FIL 88 years old CLPD stubborn swede, my MIL 86 stubborn German, very proud people to a fault. I picked up meds brought over dinner we ate my FIL said go home look after your dogs, I told him that his daughter was going to come home early from Florida but I promised I would stay the night so she would stay. He said well you lied go home, not going to lie a night at home in my bed is going to feel good, I will be there when he gets up to piss at 5 am in case he falls.
God Bless...SIL took FIL in when they moved MIL out west. into nursing care with alziehmers(sp?). He had cared for her for several yrs with help from us and others until she became unmanagable. She was in a care facility for 12 yrs. Before passing. He's had medical issues and surgeries their family has delt with... I know both our kids have discussed what they would do incase something was needed. I hate them having to think of such things . They have been watching there grandparents situation.
My wife and I have had my stepmother for a year and a half now. She is my stepmother but my dad and her married when I was 11, so she was more of a mother to me than my birth mother ever was. It's not easy on the wife and I. She is diabetic and has several other health issues. When we got her she had fallen alone at home and was no longer able to care for herself. She could barely walk and could not get up on her own or take care of her personal needs. My wife was getting up 4-5 times a night just to take her to the bathroom. I told my wife it was like having a newborn again, only she was no longer 21yrs old! She didn't appreciate that comment. Anyway my wife and I, being the nazis that we are, got her into a PT program and got her able to get up and down and go to bathroom on her own. We make her walk daily and she has to do a couple of exercises each day. She gripes at us but she does them. It's never easy. She complains about almost everything and is very demanding at times but my wife and I git-r-done! My wife takes care of her personal needs and does the cooking and I do most everything else. As far as I'm concerned, anyone taking on these tasks is a Saint. @soto Sent from my SM-N975U1 using Tapatalk
This will be unpopular in content. That said please read and understand. MIL was terrified she would end up like her Gandfather and unfortunately did. To this she made specific written orders for her care, knowing it could drag on. One of those orders was NO MEDICAL INTERVENTION. Which included medication for viruses. Well those orders were ignored and lets be honest she was $$$$$$ for the facility so when her youngest could'nt let go they went with her orders, not MIL'S Please discuss and HONOR your loved ones wishes. Make sure all patient wishes are clearly registered and in their charts. Compassion can be very difficult to be allowed to playout.
As someone who has worked in healthcare for more than 40 years, I have heard many family members state that they would never put their loved ones in a nursing home. I know they say that with the best intentions but you just can't 100% be sure of that. If the disabled person becomes a danger to themselves or a real physical liability to the caregiver, there really is no choice and an extended care facility may be the safest option. Also if a person has a living will, everyone should do their best to see that the person's wishes are carried out. None of these choices are ever easy but it is reality. Sent from my SM-N975U1 using Tapatalk
As I explained to my wife who completely agrees a man who is 88 on March 30th can not properly care for his 86 year old wife who has dementia, try explaining that to them, seems like they would rather be found dead.
