Well said, Bruce. I don't know what went on in that bathroom, or anytime before. This isn't time Ben's off field behavior has been in question. Even if he did nothing illegal that night, he needs to avoid those situations. He needs to grow up. I completely understand Jeff asking the question, "Do you have a daughter?" It may not make a difference to some, but I view things differently now. I used to hear things like this on the news and shrug it off. Now, I think if that had been my daughter. I definitely view things differently. Jeff isn't saying you can't respect women unless you've raised on, but for ME, it changed things.
Guys, I have two daughters and I will be dang sure to warn them about what men want as they get older. I will tell them the truth about young men and their desires, and what alcohol does to reduce them being in control. My daughters will not only be able to protect themselves mentally, but physically. I am a man that believes sexual aggressors need to be punished immediately. BUT, for two people that have drunk sex....come on. I am a realistic person and do not live in fantasy land. I am going to put my business out there. In college, I drank a little too much and the women came and went. Do you know how many times I could have been accused of something that I did not do just based on the fact that I was having drunk sex? Tons. That being said, Ben acted like a total immature moron to be hanging around that crew of people. He needs to understand his professional stature and to act accordingly or face the NFL's conduct policy.
Yes, you're missing something, he's supposed to be a bit more discrete, and not be out trying to get college bar *****s as it looks poorly upon the NFL. Then again, some of the schidt pulled by some of the other players in the league has been considerably worse and warranted less of a response from the league. I think Edwards DUI was as bad or worse than Ben's philandering, but he received nothing but a quarter suspension from his team for violating curfew...... WTH??? He got what he got because the whole incident was made into such a big deal. I'm QUITE sure that had he gotten a "public intox/disorderly conduct" and been convicted, it'd have probably been swept under a rug and nobody would've ever heard anything about it!!! Come on man, you think she was a typical little college co-ed....... NO WAY she was looking for a little fun and possibly a PAY DAY?$?$?$? Or maybe she was.... Thing is, people get starry-eyed in the presence of a "famous" person and get STUPID, I've seen more than a few people do it. Fact is, these guys (NFL Players) are in many ways not the kind of guys we'd want our daughter's bringing home. Not many of them are class-act, college educated, motivated to make the best of themselves in life. Many of these guys are perpetual children who are bound to be broke in 10 yrs. after they've spent EVERY penny they ever made on cars, women, parties, houses, vacations, vacation homes, then somehow dig themselves into a hole and end up without any of all that stuff they bought.
Well said. And no....I don't have a daughter. I'm old enough to look at most ALL of them (that age) that way, though.
Great post Brett. I think more people than you could have been in Ben's situation had the the opportunity for financial gain been involved. Sucks about your friend from college. Sounds like guilty until proven innocent. If the female had been 35, would she be looked at differently? Would Ben have been the victim? For the record, I have no dog in this fight, I think he's a moron who should turn his hat around and play ball.
Ben has been charged with rape three times. Found not guilty or charges dropped all three times, but does anyone see a pattern here? Is Ben the only NFL player with money? Ben was 27 at the time of his latest charge. For those that went to college, the 27 year olds hanging out at the college bars where referred to as "creepy" and "predators". Ben needs to avoid these situations. Just because you are found not guilty, it doesn't mean you didn't commit the crime. OJ anyone? Yes, a lot of people have done stupid things when drunk in college. The difference, WE WERE IN COLLEGE. No thats not an excuse, but we were not 27 year old millionaires playing professional football for a multi-million dollar organization. Yes, they are and should be held to a different standard by their employer. Stop being creepy Ben and grow up. I have a feeling he won't until one of these rape charges stick. I would be surprised if this is the last. And to me, raping someone is WAY worse than killing dogs. There I said it.
Well that's the point. I forgot who it was (Donte Stallworth maybe?), got a DWI manslaughter (convicted) and I believe was out in 2 years and I think playing now? Could be wrong, but whatever the case the dude killed someone. Good bad or ugly Ben went to a college bar in search of a piece of tail. Nobody except them two will ever know what exactly happened. We can all assume what happened. But without being convicted of anything I guess I'm a little confused how you can be suspended. Without anything to go on I guess the commisioner suspended him on his assumption of what happened? Is that even right? Or can a player be suspended for going out to a college bar? Because at the end of the day that's what it amounted to.
The NFL is not the court of law. They are a business. They can susped anyone how they see fit. If this wasn't his first offense (being accused of rape, having many drunk photos of himself appear online), I doubt he would have got 4 games. He represents the NFL and the Steelers. If at any point they feel he is representing them in a bad way, they can take action. If that means keeping your drunk ass out of college bars and parties, then it might be a good idea to do so. You know, to avoid all the drunk, lying, gold digging college girls. They are all the same.
"Yes, a lot of people have done stupid things when drunk in college. The difference, WE WERE IN COLLEGE. No thats not an excuse, but we were not 27 year old millionaires playing professional football for a multi-million dollar organization. Yes, they are and should be held to a different standard by their employer." Agreed, every employer is different in how they treat incidents involving their employees. Ben knew of those constraints yet failed to adhere to the league's policy in regards to his personal conduct off the field.
I guess I can see their point. Was the players union involved at all? Seems like they would have a say in it too. Or maybe that's how it was only 4 games?
Matt, I can really hear where you are coming from with your sarcasm. I do agree with you that we should not assume anything when judging women in that manner. "You know, to avoid all the drunk, lying, gold digging college girls. They are all the same." BUT, if it were you that were being charged by the police or suspended from your work based on a a "supposed event" rather than an actual "legal charge" then you would be asking for someone to look into an injustice. I feel many people are not really looking at the Big Ben thing as what he really did, rather that someone can just say this or that and we are supposed to believe them without any credible proof. They are actually putting themselves into his shoes. Without credible proof, there is nothing to go on in a court of law. I believe we all agree that he has made some seriously poor choices and because he represents the NFL, he was suspended by the league or they risk promoting a league that tolerates dirtballs that hurt women, kill dogs, murder people.....
What the NFL is asking it's players to do is to not put themselves in these type of situations. Let us be honest, if you are a 2 time superbowl QB in the NFL, how hard is it to get laid?
I hear ya, Brett. I just hate stereotypes. Not all college girls are drunks looking to make a bad decision, and then change their mind when they sober up. And not all NFL players make terrible decisions as also mentioned in this thread. I will say this...if I had been accused of rape three times, and even though I was never convicted, I can't say I would be surprised if my friends started looking at me different or wonder what the hell I was thinking. With Ben's behavior since he's been in the league, the latest charge came at no suprise to me. Its like being surprised when Pacman Jones ends up in a strip club.
Being from Pittsburgh this whole deal was beat to death a million times over. My personal opinion is that yea, he was stupid, but not only was he not convicted of anything, charges were never even filed in the matter. And he never should have recieved a suspension in my eyes.
Looking at it from the team's and league's perspective, you don't think they should have suspended him? I think it would have reflected poorly on both the Steeler's and the NFL if no action was taken. Again, this isn't his first time showing up in the news for the wrong reasons. The league looked at the facts available, looked at his past antics, and took their time to make what they thought was the right decision. I think too many people are caught up in whether he was guilty or not. The NFL, or any team, can suspend a player if they feel they are poorly respresenting it/them. It doesn't take a court conviction for that to happen. In their eyes, Ben has done this multiple times since being in the league.
