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Best diet plan for married men...

Discussion in 'The Water Cooler' started by Muzzy Man, May 10, 2014.

  1. Muzzy Man

    Muzzy Man Grizzled Veteran

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    With all the exercise threads going on, I thought I'd share a surefire diet plan to help some of you guys get started with the new physique... Just tell your wife how much better of a cook your mother was... You'll be guaranteed to lose those unwanted pounds.:tu:
     
  2. chopayne

    chopayne Die Hard Bowhunter

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    I think divorce is the best diet. I know I sure lost weight!
     
  3. Muzzy Man

    Muzzy Man Grizzled Veteran

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    I don't know about "best"... but certainly a contributor in many instances.
     
  4. Spear

    Spear Grizzled Veteran

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    I've found you can't diet, you have to make a lifestyle change of eating habits. A diet will only be temporarily and you'll end up putting the weight back on plus some.

    I try to have 1 fruit helping, 1 grain helping, 2 vegetable helpings, and a protein helping. Replace any sugars with natural honey, replace milk with almond or soy milk, and replace sat fats with mono/poly fats. Moderate walking or working out and you should be good to go, at least that's what helped me when I started.
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2014
  5. chopayne

    chopayne Die Hard Bowhunter

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    True spear. A lifestyle diet. I gained weight during the winter months here. Partial because it was so dang cold but I also ate large portions and ate more fatty foods. I've leaned out more now controlling my portions and eating healthier. Easy for me to do, but for others it's hard.

    Though I should point out a diet is basically what you eat not necessarily the latest temporary fad that we often get confused with.
     
  6. chopayne

    chopayne Die Hard Bowhunter

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    Why are you replacing milk? Calorie count? I only do soy because I have to but I'd drink milk if I could.
     
  7. Spear

    Spear Grizzled Veteran

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    I'm not a big fan of the hormones and aspartame they put in pasteurized milk and I haven't found anywhere nearby to buy raw milk so I've opted for the low sugar non-dairy options. I get almond milk if I am watching calories and soy for more protein. Depends on what I am doing that week in terms of working out.
     
  8. chopayne

    chopayne Die Hard Bowhunter

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    I heard soy milk isn't as great for you and races estrogen etc. I have found myself able to shed some tears easier. Maybe I'm just a puss.
     
  9. Spear

    Spear Grizzled Veteran

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    I think I've heard that too, but of course everything in moderation. It's not like I'm chugging it and...brb gotta go do my nails. :) Just kidding. It also helps prevent prostate cancer but also may inhibit male fertility. I'm done having kids so I think I'm good to go.
     
  10. Wiscohunter

    Wiscohunter Die Hard Bowhunter

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    I don't drink milk but, I eat more cottage cheese than any man ever should. Seriously...my wife said I cant eat cottage cheese before 10am anymore.
     
  11. Muzzy Man

    Muzzy Man Grizzled Veteran

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    Cottage cheese on home made pizza... amazing!
     
  12. Germ

    Germ Legendary Woodsman

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    They say you burn 200 calories every time you have sex, no wonder married guys are so fat:)
    I became a soccer referee, I run around a couple hours a week at least, and I make a bit of money.
     
  13. tfox

    tfox Grizzled Veteran

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    How to lose MASSIVE amounts of weight! We need to figure out a way to market this! Any ideas??? Worth reading to the end- I promise!A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5lbs as promised.He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10lbs program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10lbs as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25 lbs program."Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."He lost 33 lbs that week"


    [​IMG]


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    Last edited: May 10, 2014
  14. Muzzy Man

    Muzzy Man Grizzled Veteran

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    Put a dime in the jar every time for the first year... take a dollar out every time after the first year and you'll never empty the jar. LOL
     
  15. Muzzy Man

    Muzzy Man Grizzled Veteran

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    Lose weight fighting with your wife using your hat... grab it and run.
     
  16. tfox

    tfox Grizzled Veteran

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    She wears pink better than gary.:eek:

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  17. dnoodles

    dnoodles Legendary Woodsman

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    the entire premise of this thread is shot for me since I do all the cooking...
     
  18. Muzzy Man

    Muzzy Man Grizzled Veteran

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    Maybe... tell her she eats more than your mother... that ought to do it.:tu:
     
  19. Muzzy Man

    Muzzy Man Grizzled Veteran

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    I sure don't want to see him in those running pants either.
     
  20. ultramax

    ultramax Grizzled Veteran

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    Marriage is all about eating crow anyways. Tag soup is always a backup plan
     

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