I remember my father going into "my" truck and finding a tape I had hidden when I was 17. I knew the tape had inappropriate lyrics and did not want my father to find out. WELL he found that nasty tape (which was not mine). He called me out to the truck, took the tape, and then broke it in half! I was upset because it wasn't mine and because I thought he invaded my privacy. I had to listen to him rant and rave over the course of the next hour how I should not listen to songs that promote violence or promotes treating women like prostitutes. He then forbid me to drive that truck for a good deal of time. I am thankful of the lessons my father taught me.
Not saying I agree or disagree with you but at 25,YOU are no longer responsible for them.Your job as a parent is done.Legally that is.
BUT,if one of my kids are still at home at 25,it is still my house and I am legally responsible for anything illegal in MY house so I still have the right to search my property if I feel the need. I hope I never feel the need. If I do,I may or may not tell them,that would depend upon the situation .
I knew (still know her) a woman who's son was over 21 but he still lived at home. I didn't need to search his room to tell her that she should tell him to move out. She didn't though. Then his "friends" firebombed the house and she lost everything. The question was "would you snoop in your child's room" not whether you had the right to. It seems people are confusing the two.
It's a circular reference, Bruce (the OP's question). You can't snoop in your own house (where your kids are involved). We're talking semantics, here. Amen, brother.
I work with a guy that reads his 15/16 year old son's text messages. He has come across some "interesting" conversations which have led to a few chats with his son. I thought this was weird at first but I guess its for his (the son's) own good.
It's not there room that bothers me it's the internet use. mainly my 14 year old girl.... Get a keylogger for your computer there are a ton of them out there some are basic and some tracks every thing as in what was sent and what was sent back as well as private messaging and websites visited, there is a ton of perverts trolling for young girls so be proactive and be aware.
Boy can being a parent hurt,.......................... Preachers daughters...................cops sons. Just follow your heart and you will do fine..............
What is a real shame is the fact that by the time we are smart enough and affluent enough to raise children we are also practiced enough to prevent having them.
Hopefully I raised my kids to be smart enough to not to hide something where the wife or I could find it !! I still remember my youth. Seriously the two oldest kids lead boring lives as teens compared to me. Never had to do room searches or any of that. They knew their mom didn't miss much and they had to answer to me should they mess up. It's our house... our rules and there is no debate. My youngest daughter... she will be the one to watch... she is a lot like me. :D Tim
I do for my kids - and do so increasingly for my 5th grade daughter. I started to do some really, really stupid crap at about 12...and kids get older much younger now.
Sounds like some of you guys are either paranoid or lack confidence as a parent. Snooping without suspicision? Reading text messages? Why even give them a phone? Sounds like baiting. Do you guys tail your wife as she goes about her daily routine, too? Make sure you stay two cars back. You don't want her to get suspicious.
When they start paying the bills they can move out and have all the privacy they want! Until then, My house my rules.
My wife isn't a teenager. She's earned my trust. Kids aren't capable of entering into that level of trust. They have no way of earning it. It's ONLY my opinion....but some of you are giving children credit for having the mental capacity to make sound decisions ......always. I simply don't think they're capable of doing that. If so.....they wouldn't need us (as much).
