Yeah personally getting old sucks, but it does have it plus sides like grandchildren. Saturday I flew to escort my parents and their dogs to the place in Florida. I realized it Sunday and it hit me like an anvil I actually broke down a few times. My parents can no longer live on their own. I guess because of covid I have not seen them much. My parents are too proud to allow somebody other than a family member to look after them. I am also pissed at my siblings when I told them that Mom and Dad can not live alone and we will not see Mother come home from Florida alive if something is not done and not one of these a-holes said that they would head down to help out in the next couple of weeks. They are too busy.
So moving to Florida eh? Jokes aside.... went thru that with my mother and sibling for a few years before she passed last year..... It sucks
My mother is 92, still lives alone and fortunately she lives just 1/4 mile down the road. My brothers and sister do help with some of her needs so I'm lucky that it's not just me swinging in every day after work. Life is precious and we have to enjoy it while we can.
She had surgery on the legs removed a lot of flesh because of infection, so she is able to get around very well she fell the other day I was 20' away and not able to catch her, it was awful. My mother is the toughest person I have ever known to see her be rendered helpless is very hard, my Dad, well is unable to be a care giver or much of one.
My entitled siblings have all lived a pretty damn nice life based on the foundation and wealth my parents provided and they will not commit to getting off their asses to help our parents on even a week rotation. That bothers me a lot. I have 4 other siblings not even one week every month.
My in-laws are getting to that point. Next week, my MIL is having a follow up surgery to clear out an infection in her incision from emergency surgery over Thanksgiving. She is only 68, had both knees replaced and can barely walk. You cannot spend decades being 200lbs overweight and expect to keep your independence. She has lost 70lbs in the last month due to not eating since the Thanksgiving surgery. FIL is 72 and has his own health problems, he can't do hardly anything as a care taker. Both suffer from severe depression and often make decisions that seem insane. If this follow up surgery does not fix her problems, we are going to have the have the hard conversation about some kind of assisted living for them. My wife and I are both in our late 30s' with three boys under the age of 10, we are not in a position where we have the home situation or the financial resources to care for my in-laws full-time.
My mom is about 4'6" a tiny spitfire but she has issues she is very entitled and expects her people to take care of her needs. I love her to death but she can be a pain in the ass. They had the whole house painted inside and out and to listen to my parents talk to the guys that did the work over the punch list I had to make a point to talk to them before they left for the day yesterday and apologize and sooth feathers. Had to tell my parents you can talk to me like that but not people working on your home.
Sota, you are a good dude man. I never met you and likely never will, but our years on this site and just getting to know you through this place, I got to say, you are from the old school and if I was a yankee living in Minn, we'd have a beer together every week and fish and hunt and watch the Packers beat up on my cowboys every now and then! Stay the course my friend..
My father was the youngest of seven. My mother was the middle of three girls. I'm an only child. Regarding your last sentence- Guess why.
So had to find my Mom's phone for her this morning I found it and looked at the calls not a single one from my siblings in the past 3 days. I have to quit letting that bug me. I have to find a way to ask my Dad how he is doing without my Mom around it has to be exhausting for him.
My mother deals with the same problem in caring for my 90-year-old Grandmother. Grandma has Alzheimer's and is in a nursing home. Mercifully, it looking like her end may come soon. She is at that point where that is the best thing. My Aunt was helpful prior to Grandma going into the nursing home. However, I have an uncle who is the oldest sibling and should be carrying the majority of the burden, who is worthless. I will tolerate him at my Grandmother's funeral to keep the peace. After that, I doubt anyone will have anything to do with him. I certainly won't unless he offers a major apology and changes his behavior. Before he passed, my grandfather appointed my mother as my grandparents guardians because Grandpa knew my uncle would not do right by them.
You learn a lot about siblings you have known all your life during times like this. I tried to talk to my Mom this morning after she fell trying to get out of bed. She is not going to get better here the house is not set up with rails she has fallen twice that I know of. I said mom you either need to go somewhere or have the help come to you. Her reply F you. She is so stubborn.
They are lucky to have you. Sorry you have to go through that, but the reward of knowing you did the right thing makes it worth it.
