Very funny stuff, thanks for posting. I thought for sure this would be a Patrick McManus story. If you have never read his work you should. "Deer on a bicycle" is great.
Never heard of him until a couple of yall mentioned him. Just looked him up on youtube. That's a funny guy, I would bet also that he wrote this one.
I'm thinking anchoring the rope to the tree would be the best bet. Then maybe go in after it's tired itself out a bit and not by dragging you around.