How to build a raised flower/vegetable bed: 1. Buy a lot of stuff (wood, peat, manure, soil, etc); 2. Load the stuff by yourself because the employees at the local lumber yard are too lazy; 3. Get home and realize you have a little over a ton of stuff and you now have to carry it all from the driveway to the back of the yard through two gates; 4. Open the double gates to the back yard and pray the truck will fit through; 5. Do the happy dance when you fit through with a couple inches on both sides with the mirrors folded in; 6. Unload the truck and pull it back up to the drive; 7. With extension cords, circular saw, cordless drill and batteries in hand, return to the back yard closing the gates; 8. Realize you left the saw horses in the garage. Walk back up the hill and through the gates to get them; 9. Return to the back yard and find the cordless drill batteries are both dead; 10. Agitated walk back to the garage again and get the corded drill; 11 Return to the back yard to realize that the deck screws are special heads; 12. Walk back to the garage and get the appropriate bit out of the toolbox; 13. Walk back to the back yard and start the project; 14. Realizing you need a carpenters square, walk back to the garage get a drink of water and forget what you came after; 15. After a few moments of thinking, remember the carpenters square and return to the back yard; 16. Start assembly and remember you want to line the interior with plastic to keep the chemicals from leaching into the soil; 17. With no knife in your pocket, return to the garage and get your razor knife while swearing under your breath; 18. Return to the back yard with knife to cut the plastic; 19. Find out that the knife does not have a blade in it. Swear out loud as you trudge back up to the garage to get one; 20. Remove a brand new razor from the box, consider slitting your wrists, but don’t and return back down to the back yard again; 21. Finish the first box and realize what you projected as a 4 hour project for two has now taken 8 hours for one. Swear again; 22. Pack up your tools while still swearing and put them away. You’ll make the other one another time; and 23. After going back inside the house, realize that you left your cell phone in the shed and decide that it is fine right where it is because no one of real importance calls you anyway.
I built one for my wife last year because she wanted to grow stuff without having to weed. Not worth the hassle! as far as I am concerned is she wants another garden I will just till up the front yard!
Wow. Makes me feel a ton relieved. I thought I was the only one that did stuff like this! Thanks for the post. HaHa
#20 had me laughing hysterically...this post is a good one. I can relate, this is how my projects go.
WHEW... and I thought I was the only dysfunctional human on the earth. It's nice to know I have so much company My wife wants a couple of those in our backyard for this year. Getting lumber for the project soon.
