Death to a child Here is my thing, my 5 yr old boy is on this deal with death lately. About three weeks ago in youth group at church the lesson had something to do with death and he just can't get passed it. We have had a couple episodes now where he is simply inconsolable. Worried about my death, his death. I've kinda been at a loss on how to deal with it other than reading some pertinent scripture to him which I can assure you is not exactly my strong suite. So anyone had to death with explaining death to a young child? Any suggestions? What's odd is he has been around the harvest and butcher of animals, doesn't bother him. He is almost obsessing about losing loved ones and his own death though. I've been losing alot of sleep worrying about him......
Man buddy that is tough. I believe my oldest daughter had trouble absorbing the thought of death when she first understand the finality of it. I don't think I can be much help to you other than to assure you his emotions will stabilize and he will understand that death is part of life. I know it is heartbreaking to hear and listen to when a child shows that raw fear/emotion. It tears a mans heart out.
Brother, it is awesome to hear all of this and how scripture is shared. Having never had to explain death to a youngin directly myself I cannot offer much advice from direct experience but one thing did pop in my head. Bring up someone you loved and cared for very much and impacted your life immensely in some fashion that has sadly passed away; and while they may be gone they live on in your thoughts, who you are and how you think. Attempt to explain that death is the very reason we need to love and care for others throughout our long lives (try not to make it seem so close) as Jesus expressed multiple times in the good book. Death is just the beginning of life for those that believe, a very very tough (if not impossible) thought for a kid to wrap their head around...shoot I even struggle with it myself. Will pray He gives ya words to share with him the next time needed; whether from His book or from your heart.
Explain to him that we will all be reunited in the Kingdom of Heaven and that the time he will have to spend without you here on earth is the time that he will most need to lean on and serve God in order for him to also one day gain entrance into the Kingdom and walk with you and all his loved ones again.
Ya guys I've tried to cover those bases, but as Ty said its kinda of a lot to expect a 5 yr old to wrap their heads around. I've been trying to find a way to break it down to a level he can grasp. I'm not sure there is a way but I am also not one to just brush it off either. If he brings it up I want to talk with him about it, just seems the more I try to explain the more upset he becomes sometimes.....
Sadly that is probably how he'll work through it, man that'd be tough to watch and witness though. A concept like this to a 5 year old would flat out seem crazy and scary....prayers man.
Well, we won't ALL... John 3:3 But, knowing that we CAN brings a lot of comfort. Also... just to be clear. We can't serve God enough (e.g., do enough good works) to earn our way into heaven; it's impossible. If we could, that would be making a mockery out of Jesus's crucifixition; it wouldn't have HAD to have happened!! He wouldn't have had to have come to earth in the bodily form of a man and present himself as an unblemished lamb for sacrifice to atone for OUR sins. (1 Peter 1:19) Anyway... it can be a tough phase to deal with. Sometimes, it just takes a little time for him to realize everyone is NOT dropping like flies around him
All that can be done, is listen to his concerns and fears and answer his questions and reassure him. He will likely find some new issue to focus on before long without you having ever actually calmed those fears. He will in his own way learn to deal with them.
I only met him for a few days, but I can see how this would consume his thoughts. Little man seemed to always have tons of questions and always thinking, gonna pay off big time in his future, but also hold times like this where something may consume him.
Have you tried going to your pastor for advice on the subject or maybe even bring your son with you to talk to him?
I don't know how I'll approach this with my daughter once she becomes aware of death. I imagine it will be centered around the beauty of life and how it should be cherished.
My wife covered this early on in her instructions to the girls on things spiritual. They understand how the body dies and ceases to exist, but your souls pass over into the afterlife. They are actually still with us, although not in the same sense and we'll join them when it's our time to pass over. They're very comfortable with the concept.
He and I fire much alike so I understand why certain things get in his head and overwhelmingly consume his thoughts. Happens to me everyday. I am old enough to organize the thoughts. Well except for all the hunting lol Someone suggested Charlottes Web to me this morning, seemed like a solid idea. A storyline set to a mindset he may be able to follow better.
I almost wish we could be that lucky. Our 5 year old is just the opposite. To preface he has recently had a surgery and had complications. He is a horrible patient. Refusesto eat, refuses to drink, and refuses to take his meds. I've tried to explain death in hopes a little bit of fear would cause him to to do what he is suppose too. It hasn't worked. I do feel your pain though. It is tough to watch our children go through mental distress as it often leaves us with the feeling of helplessness. The only advice I can give you is try to distract him with as many activities as you can. Sometimes discussing death doesn't add comfort no matter what is said even as adults.
I'm getting close to that with my soon to be 4 year old daughter. She loves watching "deer shows" with me and talks about shooting a deer with me and wanting to go hunting. But I know she doesn't grasp the concept because just the other day she said "why is the deer laying down" when the hunter approached his harvest. Then she said that she wanted to pet a deer. So I've been pondering this very same thing, but in the perspective of hunting. Maybe you can use hunting to explain death and then relate it to humans too? I can't remember what it was like learning about death or how I felt about it but I do sympathize for a young mind coming to terms with it.
Yes, my son has a pretty serious interest in the bible. To be frank I might even call it odd in that neither myself or his mother are very religious. We have our beliefs but we do not go to church weekly, we do pray in our home and the like, and the kids go to weekly church groups. Honestly though the more we read scripture on the subject it's seems it just one more thing for him to process. Although he does enjoy reading and even memorizing the verses, I really don't believe at 5 he fully comprehends everything being read / heard. I can see his lil mind just a spinnin.
He has hunted and trapped with me quite a bit. He has dispatched animals on the trap line and loves shooting squirrels. He enjoys helping to butcher, giving thanks for the food and eating what we take. I think in a way, in his mind, that doesn't carry over. His fears are no different than those of many people. Losing a loved one, fear of dying. Trying to explain Heaven as a comfort to a five year old, well frankly it isn't enough at this point I guess. IDK
